Life, Love, and SG1
by Jennifer Carter
Summary: It's Jessie's first Christmas home. Will it be everything that they'd hoped for? COMPLETE!
1. Ghosts

_They'd been hearing noises coming from the M.A.L.P. room for a few days. Sometimes, it was muffled sobs; sometimes, it was moans of pain. But, every time, they were the sounds of a child. Whenever someone would open the door, the sounds would cease and no one would be there. Some of the younger recruits began a rumor that the SGC was haunted. They didn't know how far from the truth they were._

_SG-1 was returning from off-world when they heard the sobs. Motioning for everyone to remain quiet, Colonel Jack O'Neill quietly opened the door and motioned for the rest of the team to follow him inside. What they found, would change the SGC (mainly SG-1) forever._

"_My POV"_

The man stepped carefully around a M.A.L.P. I guess he was trying not to make too much noise. He saw a small figure lying on the ground, almost hidden in the dark room.

"Who's there?" he asked. "Show yourself!" he said loudly.

I didn't move. I kept still, hoping if I did, they would just go away. But, no. Even then, my luck simply sucked.

"Who's there?" he asked again.

I struggled to sit up, the pain in my side making me gasp and almost pass out.

"Colonel it's a child!" said a female soldier, putting her weapon away. I was still trying to hide…to make myself small…hell, to do anything.

The man put his weapon away and the others stepped into the room.

The blonde lady started towards me. I tried to get away but I was too weak to orb out of there. "Don't…please," I said softly.

She smiled and held her hand out to me, palm out. "It's ok sweetheart," She took another step and I backed up against the wall, trembling with terror. She must've sensed it because her eyes widened, but she didn't come any closer. "We're not going to hurt you." She turned to the man she called "Colonel" as if to say "Now what?"

He motioned for everyone to sit. They were bigger than me…there were more of them than me. But, they didn't try to grab me. I tried again, unsuccessfully to orb.

"What's your name?" he asked. I just looked at him.

"I'm Jack. This is Sam," he said smiling and pointing to the lady. "Daniel," pointing to the man with glasses. "And Teal'c," pointing to the man with the strange symbol in the middle of his head.

Sam looked at me again. "What's your name sweetheart?" she said softly.

I took a painful breath. "Jessie…my name is Jessie," I stuttered slightly.

"Jessie...that's a pretty name," said Jack. "What about your last name? What's your last name honey?"

I looked away. "Jessie's the only one I got," I said softly.

"How did you get here?" asked Daniel.

I shook my head. "I…I…I can't…." I stuttered.

Teal'c said something in a strange language. "What? I...I don't understand."

"That's ok," said Jack. "Where are you from?"

"I don't know."

"How did you get here?" asked Sam.

"I can't tell you," I said, almost whispering.

"How come?" asked Jack.

I just shook my head. The tears were beginning to fall.

Sam reached toward me again. I jerked back against the wall, trembling with fear. "Please don't hit..."

"I'm not gonna hurt you," she said, looking at Jack in horror…the same look that was on his face. They could tell someone had hurt me, but they couldn't tell how.

Jack cleared his throat. "Jessie…it's kinda dark in here. You mind if I turn on the light?"

I flicked my hand out and the light switch went up, turning on the bright lights.

Teal'c stood and drew his weapon. "O'Neill!"

He turned towards Teal'c. "Put it away, T." he said. Turning to me he asked, "Did you do that?"

"Yes," I whispered, huddling against the shelving unit.

"Cool. How?" he whispered, with awe in his voice. He could see the fear in my eyes, so I guess he was afraid that talking too loud would freak me out. Little did he know…he'd be right.

"I don't know. I can do things sometimes." I said crying softly.

Sam looked at me and smiled. "It's ok sweetheart." I probed her mind and heard her thoughts. _(She's so afraid. I wish she would just let me hold her, but she's so afraid.) _I couldn't say anything. "It must be wonderful to be able to do that."

I shook my head. "No." I said sadly.

Daniel looked up and cleared his throat. "Jessie, you don't know how you did that, but you just know you can?"

"Yes."

Another soldier stuck his head in the door. "Colonel, is everything…?"

I freaked out and threw my hand up and froze him in mid-sentence. I didn't want too many people seeing me. "No!"

They turned to him. "Whoa. What did you do?" asked Daniel.

I looked down at the floor and shivered. "I'm sorry! I froze him. I...I didn't mean too!" I said rapidly, tears sliding down my face.

"What are you?" asked Daniel.

"A freak," I said in a voice thick with tears. I didn't care anymore.

Jack jerked his head around. "Shut up Daniel. She's just a kid," He turned back to me and smiled. "Honey, you are not a freak…but, can you unfreeze him?" he asked.

I nodded, flicked out my finger, and he unfroze.

"Cool," said Jack again.

"…alright?" continued the soldier.

"Yeah," said Jack. "Dismissed." The soldier turned and left.

"What else can you do?" asked Daniel.

I didn't want to say anything else. I just looked at the floor and toyed with a string that was coming loose on my old shirt.

He repeated his question.

"For cryin' out loud, Daniel, don't interrogate her," said Sam. Jack smiled at her as she turned to me. "How old are you, sweetheart?" she asked quietly.

"Ten," I said. Their eyes widened. Hell, I was small. I knew it.

I noticed that her hand was bandaged. "What happened to your hand?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"I cut it," she said looking at me with…hell I don't know. A look I'd never seen on an adult. But, she knew what I was trying to do. I could definitely see that much.

"I can heal it," I said.

That got me a strange look from all of them.

Jack stared, wide-eyed. "You can heal her hand?" he asked, something I wasn't able to name in his voice.

"Yes."

"How?"

"I don't know. I just can," I looked at Sam. "Please let me show you." She saw the fear and uncertainty, in my eyes and held out her hand, smiling._ (Just don't touch me)_

Her eyes widened again…as did Jack's and they both gasped. I knew right then that they both heard my thought. But, apparently, the other two hadn't heard my thought. I didn't know why. "Ok sweetheart," she said softly.

I reached for her with my right hand, keeping my left tucked in. It still hurt a lot. I knew a couple of my fingers were broken, but I thought my arm was too. I didn't want them to see. I put my hand above hers and smiled shyly at her. Closing my eyes, I concentrated. I heard someone gasp. They saw the glow and I knew Sam felt the warmth of my touch even though I wasn't exactly touching her. I finished healing her and I collapsed back against the wall, breathing heavily.

Sam took off the bandage. "It's gone," she said in surprise, staring at me in shock. She held her hand up for them all to see. Jack took her hand in his and felt around where the wound should have been, his touch lingering. He smiled at her and she smiled back. I felt like I was going to pass out. I hit myself in the forehead with my hand. "Stupid, stupid, stupid."

Sam reached for me again. "Are you ok?"

I shrank against the wall again. "Don't touch me," I said through gritted teeth.

Jack shook his head, a worried look in his eyes. "How long have you been here?"

"I don't know."

He realized something. "You're the one that every one has been hearing…aren't you?" he said softly.

"Yes," I whispered.

"But, sir, that's impossible," said Sam. "Whenever they would look in here, there was no one here."

"Did you hide behind something?"

"No."

"Did you hide in something?"

"No. I left."

"You left?"

"Yes." I said, getting weaker.

There was that shocked look again. "Can you show us how you left?"

"No."

"Why?"

"It hurts," I said softly, trying to fight the tears.

"What hurts, sweetheart?" asked Jack quietly. I probed his thoughts. (_Tell me what happened to you…that way I can make it better. Let me help you. Please baby.)_

"Everything," I whispered.

He didn't understand. Nothing seemed to work right. That last night was the worst.

"Why don't you tell me where it hurts so we can make it better?" said Jack.

"No."

"Why?" asked Jack.

"No. Please don't," I whispered as he reached for me again. I saw pain fill his eyes while he dropped his hand in his lap as I huddled in against myself.

"Can you at least _tell_ us how you left?" asked Daniel getting aggravated. I shied away and tried to curl up.

"Daniel! Shut up!" yelled Jack. He was getting pissed off at his friend and I didn't know why.

"No. He'll…" I stopped.

"Who'll what sweetheart?" asked Jack.

I just sat there and shook my head. Jack made a move toward me. "I'll show you… please don't hurt me," I whispered.

A look of pure pain crossed his face. (_If I find the person who hurt you, I swear to God I'll kill him.) _"No one's gonna hurt you Jessie. Not me. Not Sam. Not Teal'c or Daniel. Believe me. You're safe here. You're safe with us."

I didn't even know where "here" was. But, I didn't say it out loud. Maybe if they thought I belong, they'll let me stay. Yeah, right.

Someone's stomach rumbled. Jack looked at me as a thought crossed his mind. "Are you hungry?"

"No," I said, the rumbling of my own stomach betraying me.

"Sir, I think she is."

"Do you like burgers?"

I shrugged my shoulders. Pain caused me to gasp as I felt the twinge in my left arm.

That got me a funny look. I wasn't trying to be funny. Jack and Sam exchanged a look and, for the first time, really looked at me. I knew I was skinny…too skinny. I hadn't eaten in a couple of days. But, that was normal anyway…wasn't it?

I withstood their scrutiny for a few minutes. When I started to squirm, Sam spoke softly to me, "When was the last time you had something to eat sweetheart?"

I looked down and refused to look back up. "I don't know. A couple of days I think."

"Where are your parents?" asked Jack.

"I'm an orphan," I whispered.

"What?"

"I'm an orphan!" I said louder, my voice full of pain.

Sam and Jack exchanged another look. When they looked back at me, I saw love and pain in both sets of eyes. I looked away first. Nope…not used to seeing that in people looking at me. Pity, yes…love, no.

Jack stood slowly and motioned for the others to do the same. "We're gonna go get some burgers, fries, and soda. Don't go anywhere ok?" he said softly.

"Don't go," I whispered before I could stop the words.

_Don't be stupid. Just let them go. No, don't let them leave. You're tired of being alone…and you know Sam and Jack from somewhere…but where?_

"What?" he turned back to me.

"I'm scared," I begged, my voice trembling again, tears of pain and loneliness sliding down my face. "Please don't leave me."

"Ok sweetheart. I won't go anywhere. Carter you stay here with me," he said softly and turned to Daniel.

Before he said anything, Daniel said, "I'll go." He turned to Teal'c. "Come on. You can help me carry everything."

Daniel and Teal'c left the room in silence. We just sat there, not saying anything. I could tell they had more questions. I was so afraid. I felt something…some connection to these two people. I didn't know what it was. But, I wanted to tell them everything. But, I kept my mouth shut and didn't say anything.

Jack broke the silence. "So…where do you live?"

I tried to reply but the pain in my side increased tenfold. I grabbed at my ribs and cried out softly in pain.

"What's wrong Jessie?" asked Jack worriedly.

"Nothin'," I said, breathing heavily. That's when the thought crossed my mind. They didn't leave to get food. They left to get some more people. They were going to try to take me.

"Shit! I gotta get outta here," I stood slowly trying to push the pain away. Instead, it got worse. Instead of crying out, it made me gasp, which in turn made me cough. That's when the pain really got bad.

They were both alarmed. They jumped to their feet and started towards me. I stood up against the wall again, still coughing. I held my hand out to keep them from coming closer, the shield working this time. Yay me. "Stay back!" I gasped each breath hurting.

They both saw the light blue glimmer in the air.

"Wow, a force shield," said Sam in awe.

_Shit._

This wasn't good. I'd just used up the last of my strength. The shield didn't hold for more than a few seconds before it collapsed. When it did, so did I.

I fell against the floor. I pushed myself into a sitting position with my good arm. I tasted blood in my mouth. I hadn't bitten my tongue so I knew that wasn't where the blood was coming from. I wiped the blood on my shirt. They definitely saw that. Both had worry in their eyes.

"Don't touch me, please," I begged, tears beginning to fall.

"Baby let us help you," said Jack in a voice thick with emotion, and reached for me anyway.

"I'm fine. Just leave me alone," I begged, tears streaming down my face.

"No, you're not," stated Jack. "Let me help you."

Jack reached for me as I slid completely to the floor. I finally gave in to the pain. "Please…don't" I begged quietly and then I started to pass out.

I think they only heard 'please', because I heard them both reach for me and then I let myself pass out.


	2. Abuse

"_Jack's POV "_

Sam and I rushed towards her as she slid to the floor. "Wake up Jessie," I said. Nothing. I pushed her hair out of her eyes and then put my hand on her cheek. "Come on sweetheart…please wake up."

_ God she's so small. _

Sam felt for a pulse. "She's got a pulse, but it's _very_ weak."

I quickly made my decision and grabbed her up in my arms. She whimpered a little when I shuffled her. We rushed her out of the M.A.L.P. room towards the infirmary.

_(Jack? Sam?)_

_(We're here) _I thought to her, trying to calm her down.

_(I'm scared. It hurts so bad.)_

I hugged her closer. Her breathing was getting weaker. "Hang on baby. We're almost there."

We met General Hammond coming out of his office with Teal'c and Daniel. "Colonel O'Neill. Just what in hell is going on here?" he asked.

"General, this is our ghost," I said, not stopping.

"It's a child!"

"Yes sir…an extremely hurt child."

We kept running until we made it to the infirmary. Dr. Fraiser. "What's going on?" She looked at the floor. "Colonel, you're bleeding."

I looked down and saw that blood was dripping onto the floor. "It's not me." I said feeling sick as to what we would find on her body. I laid her down on an infirmary bed.

As soon as her back touched the bed, she screamed in pain and arched her back, trying to get away from the hard mattress. I rolled her onto her right side and she sobbed with relief and pain. She was starting to hyperventilate. I put my hand on her head and stroked her hair. That seemed to calm her down slightly.

"Shh sweetheart. It's gonna be alright now."

Dr. Fraiser was behind her when we rolled her over. "Oh God!" she exclaimed.

"What?" I demanded.

"Everybody out!" yelled the doctor.

"Doc, I'm not leaving her," I said firmly.

"Me neither," said Sam.

"Fine…everybody _else_ out!"

_(Jessie) _I thought, reaching out to her with my mind. That was cool…talking to someone in my head…well…never mind.

_(Sam! Jack! Help me! What's happening?) _She cried in my head. I could actually feel her fear!

_(Dr. Fraiser is going to take care of you now)_ I thought to her trying to keep both of us calm.

_(Please don't leave me)_ She begged. I had to fight to keep the tears from falling.

From the look of distress on Sam's face, she was getting the conversation too. I nodded at her and she nodded back. We'd both made our decisions.

_(We're here…me and Sam…and we're not going anywhere)_

_(I'm scared)_

_(I know you are baby. You're going to be fine. I promise) _I thought to her.

_ God, please let me be right. _

"Colonel, Sam…" said Dr. Fraiser in a strange voice.

Keeping my hand on her head, I walked around the infirmary bed until I was behind her. "Shit!" What I saw turned my stomach. I could see slashes in her shirt and blood on the skin that was visible.

Dr. Fraiser started cutting the shirt gently from her back. When it was gone, we all gagged and I said, "Oh my God!"

Deep cuts and gashes covered most of her small back. She'd been badly beaten. Most were bleeding freely, probably from when she fell on the floor.

"Hold her still Colonel…I've got to clean these cuts."

She jerked in pain as the antiseptic touched her skin. She wasn't quite unconscious, but she wasn't quite conscious either.

I walked back around her and immediately felt sick. I could see the pain in her small body, multiplied by the cuts and bruises I saw. "Shit Doc. It looks like someone took a baseball bat to her!" I said angrily.

Fraiser finished cleaning the cuts on her back and then did her chest and stomach. "Colonel I think you might want to turn your head."

"Why?"

"I have to cut her pants off too."

"Oh." I turned away from her, trusting Sam to keep her hand on her…she seemed to need physical touch. It seemed to comfort her.

Somebody gasped. "What?" asked I turning around.

"Nothing…her leg is definitely broken. I need to get some x-rays." She called for a technician.

The broken bone was sticking through her skin. I gagged. She jerked and cried out in pain as the doc cleaned the broken area on her left leg. "Mama!" she cried out.

That broke my heart. She'd said she was an orphan, yet here she was calling for her mother. "Doc, can't you give her something…ya know…for the pain?" I asked choking back a sob, reaching for her hand again.

"I have no idea if she's allergic to anything. I might give her something that could kill her. I need a blood type," Dr. Fraiser said calmly, as she drew blood from her arm, filling the vial in her hand. She handed it to a technician. She turned to me. "Does she have a name?"

I squeezed her hand gently. "Jessie," I said, trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to fight the tears that were threatening to fall. "No last name."

"Age, if you know?"

"She said she was ten," said Sam shakily.

Janet whistled. "She looks more like seven or eight."

The technician came over and handed a chart to Dr. Fraiser. She glanced down at it. "She's lost a lot of blood. From this, she's B-. That's both of yours," She turned to me and Sam. "Colonel, I know you don't like needles, but…." She started.

I walked towards the chair and rolled up my sleeve. "Do it," I noticed Sam did the same.

The technician pulled the curtains around both of us to take our blood. "Janet, what's going on out there?" asked Sam.

"We're x-raying her now. Be patient you two."

About five or ten minutes later, "I'm finished with the x-rays."

"Doc did you give her anything for the pain?" I asked, rolling down my sleeve.

"Yes. I gave her a shot of Demerol, Colonel. You might wanna know…she's lost consciousness."

We walked out from behind the curtain. I took Jessie's small hand in mine and Sam put her hand on Jessie's head, stroking her hair gently.

"Janet she's got a fever."

I reached over and felt.

_ Damn she's burning up _

I watched as Fraiser put a temperature tape on her forehead. After a few moments, she said "It's too high. 105°. We've got to bring this fever down before anything else."

"Is she going to be alright?" asked Sam letting another tear escape. I really wanted to reach up and wipe it away, but I knew I couldn't.

"I don't know," said Fraiser. "I've never seen a child this small with injuries this severe." She took a deep breath, composing herself and turned to us. "You two need to report to General Hammond."

"I can't leave her doc," I said wondering why I felt connected to her.

"You don't have a choice right now, Colonel. General Hammond wants a full report on this kid now."

I leaned over and kissed Jessie on the forehead.

_ I know this girl from somewhere…but, where? I just wish I could remember. _

"I'll be right back sweetheart," I whispered to her, kissing her forehead again.

_ God she's burning up! _

----------------------------------------

_(2 hours later)_

I was getting ready to run down to the infirmary to check on Jessie when Fraiser walked in looking exhausted.

"Well, Dr. Fraiser?" asked General Hammond. "How is our ghost?"

"Doc how's Jessie?" I asked, not really caring that I talked over General Hammond.

Fraiser sat down next to Daniel. "She's slipping into a coma." She put her head in her hands. She'd been crying.

"Janet? What's wrong?" Sam asked.

Fraiser shook her head. "I have _never _seen a case of child abuse like this."

"What type on injuries does she have Dr. Fraiser?" asked General Hammond.

"Where should I begin? She's severely dehydrated and malnourished. She has numerous bruises and lacerations on probably 95 of her body. Her left arm is broken. The last two fingers on her left hand have been broken. Her left leg is broken…left kneecap has been severely wrenched out of place. She's gonna need surgery to repair the torn ligaments. She has three broken ribs and a punctured lung." She paused, taking a deep breath. "We almost lost her. She stopped breathing and flatlined."

"No!" I cried out, unsure of why…then Sam did the same thing. Everyone looked at us strangely. I shrugged it off.

"But we were able to resuscitate her." She shook her head. "Here…" she said opening the folder in front of her. "We took pictures documenting all of her injuries for the proper authorities." She spread the photos in front of her.

I had to force myself to breathe. There was pictures of Jessie's chest with the cuts and numerous bruises; her back with all the cuts; her legs with bruises and cuts.

_ Son of a bitch. If I find the bastard that did this, I'll send him through the gate to the Goa'uld. _

"Janet, she has abilities…powers…I've never seen. I don't think that we should turn her over to children's services just yet," said Daniel. "Something might happen that could adversely affect the SGC."

"Or worse." said Sam.

"What could be worse?" he asked.

"Something that would hurt _her_ even more than she's already been hurt."

I agreed with Sam. That child had been through enough and, if I had anything to say about it, she would _never _ be hurt again. Then I saw something in one of the pictures that looked oddly familiar.

"Uh…doc what's this?" I said pointing to her right shoulder in the picture in front of me.

"I thought you'd recognize that."

"Is that what I think it is?" I asked.

"It looks like the symbol for Earth's point of origin," said Sam with wide eyes.

"How'd _that_ get there?" asked a shocked Daniel.

"It looks like a birthmark," replied Fraiser. She gathered up all the pictures and closed the folder. She leaned back and closed her eyes. A single tear slipped down her face.

"That's not all, is it?" Sam asked, quietly.

"That's not even the worst of it." She looked up at everyone and took a deep breath before continuing.

"What could be worse doc?" I asked, fear creeping inside. I didn't really want to know the answer.

"That poor child…" she paused and took a deep breath, letting the tears slide. "That ten year old child has been raped. Not once, but repeatedly."

Sam gagged, "Oh my God!"

I cursed loudly. "Son of a bitch!"

"Here. I think you all need to read this." She opened a backpack and took out a small, worn notebook. Handing it to General Hammond first, she burst into tears. Daniel put his arms around her and held her as she cried. "I swear to God, if anyone ever did anything like this to Cassie, I would show them the meaning of cruel and unusual punishment."


	3. The Diary

"_Sam's POV "_

After what I'd just read, I couldn't stop the tears from falling. The others were pale and angry. I tried to hand the book to Jack, but he shook his head.

"I…I can't." he said hoarsely. He cleared his throat trying to fight the tears that were slipping down my face. "I can't do this."

"Colonel…Jack." He looked up when I said his name. I gasped at the pain I saw in his brown eyes. I swallowed hard. "You _need_ to read this. To understand…to help her."

He took a shuddering breath and took the worn notebook. Twenty minutes later, he walked over to the sink and threw up. I looked at General Hammond and he nodded his ok for what I needed to do. I walked over to Jack as he was rinsing out his mouth and put my hand on his shoulder. When he turned around, he didn't hesitate, taking me in his arms and holding me as we both allowed emotion to rule.

A few minutes later, he looked up at General Hammond. "If I find the bastard who did this, I'll kill him."

He entwined his fingers with mine and led to me back to the conference table. When we sat down, Jack still didn't release my hand. We were getting strange looks, but at the moment, neither of us really cared too much about the regulations. We needed the contact, the affirmation that _we _were still alive.

In a surprisingly neat handwriting for a ten year old, we had just read everything…everything that had happened to her for two years. We read about the rapes, beatings, and starvation. She was locked in a basement almost every day for the last two years.

_ I'm gonna kill the bastard that did this to her._

"Dr. Fraiser, will she recover?"

She looked up from where her head was buried in her hands. "Physically, I think so. She lost a lot of blood, but thanks to you two, that part of the problem was fixed. Mentally?" She only shrugged her shoulders. "I think we need to keep a close eye on her for a while?" said Janet.

"You stated she will recover," said Teal'c.

"Did you read the last page of that diary?" she asked.

"No, I did not. It made me ill to read that much."

"Did any of you read the last page?" she asked.

We all shook our heads negatively. I couldn't make it that far…not and keep my sanity.

She picked up the diary and began to read aloud. "This is dated three days ago. '_I can't take much more of this. It hurts so much. Why me? I'll kill myself or something. I swear to God I'll never let him touch me again. Before I let anyone hurt me like this again, I'll kill myself. I swear to God I will.'"_

Jack gasped and jerked his head up at the mention of suicide and looked at me. "No," he said. "I'm _not_ gonna let that happen." I knew he was thinking of Charlie.

I looked at Janet. "Neither will I," I said quietly.

At the same time, we both said, "I'll take her." We looked at each other, disbelief on our faces that we had the same exact thought at the same exact time. He squeezed my hand.I saw the look of love in his eyes, conveying everything that we felt for each other, before he turned back to the conversation.

Janet cleared her throat. "We'll get to that later. In the meantime, I'm keeping her under 24-hour surveillance. If, and when, she comes out of the coma, she'll need therapy to deal with what has happened to her." She paused. "There is something else I hesitate to mention." All heads turned to Janet.

"What?" asked Jack, lips set in a tight line. "What else could be wrong with her?"

"She has the same protein markers in her blood that Sam has in hers."

"What the hell!" exclaimed Jack. "How?"

"I don't know. But, she's not Goa'uld. She's never had a symbiote from what I can tell, so she's never been a host. I'm going to have to run a few more tests before I have a straight answer."

General Hammond nodded. "Do what you have to do."

_ (Jack? Sam? Where are you? I'm scared)_

We jumped and looked at each other. I gave him a watery smile as he squeezed my hand.

Jack turned away from me towards the General. "She's calling for us, sir."

General Hammond looked slightly confused. "How? I haven't heard anything."

I grinned a little through my tears. "Jessie's telepathic sir."

Daniel looked surprised at this news. "Really?"

"Yeah. She's already spoken to me and the Colonel in our minds."

"Wow," he said. "And you're sure it's her."

Jack nodded. "Yeah. Don't ask me how, but I know it is." He looked at me before continuing. "I feel like I should know her somehow."

I felt my eyes go wide. I'd had the same feeling. I knew her from somewhere, but I didn't know from where. "Me, too. I keep thinking I should know her," I said.

"It's not like with Urgo. I don't know how, but I _know _it's her," said Jack.

"It's a gut feeling, sir," I said.

"Dr. Fraiser, what do you think?"

"I think it would be best if they did. I would be good for her to have someone she recognizes with her, if and when she comes out of the coma."

General Hammond nodded. "Alright. Dismissed."

"Wait a minute…there's one more thing," said Janet.

"Oh for cryin' out loud!" said Jack exasperated. We both just wanted to get to Jessie…to make sure she was alive.

Janet ignored him. "I ran a check through the hospital database and came up with a birth certificate," she said pulling out a copy from the folder.

She began to read the information:

_ Name: Jessica Caitlin_

_ Date of Birth: November 20, 1988_

_ Mother's name: Unknown_

_ Father's name: Unknown_

_ Place of birth: Colorado Springs, CO_

_ Weight: 5lbs 6oz_

_ Length: 18 in_

"Included was a note about how she came to the hospital."

_ This is the strangest thing I've ever seen. We were standing outside and then dense fog appeared. When it cleared, there was a toddler standing in front of the main entrance to the ER. She's roughly sixteen months old. There was a typed note that said her name was Jessie Caitlin (no last name) and it gave her DOB as 11-20-88; her length and weight at birth. But, there was no information regarding parents or where she came from. She knows how to say 'mama' and 'daddy'. Barely cries. She has a strange substance in her blood, but she's perfectly healthy. _

"That's where it ends."

I gasped loudly. "Oh my God!"

"What?" asked Janet.

"I always said if I had a daughter I would name her 'Jessica Caitlin'. That's just too strange."

Jack looked at me and smiled slightly through watery eyes. "It's a beautiful name. Too bad she's not yours." he said gently.

"Yeah, I would've protected her," my voice broke. He squeezed my hand gently.

"Well, we'll both protect her now," muttered Jack. He stood and pulled me up. "Come on Carter."

We left the briefing room and ran straight to the infirmary. We both gasped when we saw that small child laying there. She now had a brace on both legs (they couldn't put a cast on the left because of the wound caused by the compound fracture), a cast on her left arm, and her ribs were tightly taped. She was hooked up to so many machines keeping her small, broken body alive and asleep while she healed.

Looking at her, I couldn't keep the tears from falling. So fragile…so helpless…and somebody hurt her badly. I gently took her left hand in mine and kissed her on the forehead.

_ Why do I keep doing that? She's not mine…but, I know her. I know I do. I just wish I could remember._

Jack took her right hand in his. He leaned over her and kissed her on the forehead also. "I promise," he whispered. He pushed her hair out of her eyes. "I promise you…whoever did this, will pay."

-------------------------------------------------

She slipped completely into the coma a few hours later. I don't think I've ever cried that hard. Neither Jack, nor myself, left her alone for a second. General Hammond gave us both extended leave time. We were both unable to leave her alone. However, there were times that we were forced to leave for a short period of time to do paperwork and report Jessie's progress to General Hammond. Jack and I played cards…chess…checkers…anything to pass the time. One, or the both of us, was with her at all times. For some reason that neither of us could figure out, we couldn't leave her alone. As long as we were there, she would be safe.

------------------------------

_(4 weeks later)_

------------------------------

"_Jack's POV"_

We had to keep those wounds clean. For some reason, they weren't healing properly. Nobody could figure out why. Maybe it was the protein marker in her blood…along with some other substance they'd found. Dr. Fraiser ordered a nurse to bathe Jessie once a day. Sam had brought in some_ baby shampoo _and_ baby soap._ Jessie seemed to be allergic to everything else.

One day, after reporting to General Hammond on her progress, we walked in on her roughly washing Jessie's chest…where all the bruises had been. I thought Sam was going to beat the shit out of her she was so pissed. I grabbed her arm and held her back.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing?" I yelled.

"I was told to bathe her, Colonel O'Neill," she said gruffly. That would've been fine. I could've let the tone of voice slide. But she muttered, "I've got better things to do than bathe a stupid kid."

"Ok, that's it. Get the hell out!" yelled Sam.

"Excuse me, Major?" she sneered.

"You heard her. Get the hell out. We'll do it," I said, stepping towards her, fists clenched. I've never hit a woman in anger. But, like they say…there's a first time for everything.

"I was told by Dr. Fraiser to do this. She's my superior so she'll have to relieve me," she said with no regard for my rank.

"Oh you're definitely relieved," said Dr. Fraiser coming up behind us with two guards. "Get out." She turned to the guards. "Take her to General Hammond."

"Fine. Didn't like this job anyway," said the nurse.

I took the sponge from her and had the two guards escort her to Hammond's office.

"I'm sorry about that, guys. I should've known better than let her near Jessie. She doesn't even like kids."

"It's ok, Doc. But, I meant what I said. We'll do it," I said.

"Just let me check her vitals and I'll let you two get to it."

She checked her blood pressure, drew some more blood, and took her temperature. She felt the wounds on her back. "She's running a slight fever, but with all of her injuries, that's to be expected."

Turning to Sam and me she said "She's all yours."

I washed her legs (careful of the wounds that were slowly healing), her arms and her abdomen. I turned away while Sam washed her back, buttocks, and other parts. I'd been a father…but to a boy…not to a little girl.

_ Sheesh. She's just a baby. Why? Why would someone do this to her…to this precious little girl?_

Thinking about what had happened to her still made me nauseous.

"Sir, help me move her to the top of the bed."

"And why would you want to do that?"

"I need to wash her hair."

_ Oh. _"Uh…ok." I took Jessie's legs and gently lifted them, while Sam pulled at her shoulders. We didn't get very far, both of us trying to be careful with this broken child.

"Hey Doc?"

"What?"

"We need your help to move her a little."

"Coming, sir."

I reached under her waist and lifted as the doc lifted her legs. Sam was still in position. With little trouble, we got her to the end of the bed.

"Hey Doc?"

"Yes, Colonel?" She was getting aggravated with me. I couldn't help it. I just loved bugging her and Sam.

"How much does she weigh? She feels so light."

"She only weighs 35 lbs Colonel. She's underweight and under height for her age. She's only 3'6" lying down."

"Damn," I said.

_ If I find the people who did this, they're gonna beg me to kill them. Not if…when I find those who did this to her…and I will._

"Yeah. Now, if you two don't mind, I've got some research to do."

"No luck on why we have the same protein markers?" asked Sam.

"I've got a theory, but I'm waiting on test results."

"Care to share?" asked Sam grinning.

"Nope."

"Thanks Doc," I said.

She raised her hand and walked back to her office. "Colonel hand me that pitcher of water."

"Too cold. I'll get some warm water."

I handed her the pitcher and watched as she gently washed Jessie's hair. The way she acted, you would think Jessie was her kid. Hell, the way I was acting you'd think she was mine. I could adopt her, but she would definitely need a mother.

_ Sam would make a good mother for her. Don't go there Jack._

She's going to make someone very happy.

_ Too bad it can't be me_.

I know that the only way I'll ever be happy is standing in front of me. But, because of those damned Air Force regulations, nothing could ever happen between us. I sighed regretfully. Didn't think she heard me until…

"Sir? Everything ok?" she asked. I really hate that word when she says it. _Sir. _It reminds me of the position we're in…military and regulations.

"Yeah, just thinking."

"About?" She was rinsing Jessie's hair.

"How much of a natural you are at this." I grinned at her, trying to effectively covering my tracks.

"Yeah, well…" she blushed. Sam actually blushed. Woohoo! "It's easy when the patient is…" She stopped and swallowed hard.

"Carter?"

"Just thinking about how small and fragile she looks." Sam's eyes filled with tears as she finished rinsing and gently started drying Jessie's hair. I just wanted to hold her and tell her everything was going to be alright.

"I know, Carter."

I let her finish what she was doing. We got Jessie back onto the bed with no problems. I let Sam tuck the blanket around her and went over to the wall where the camera didn't reach…away from prying eyes.

"Carter?"

"Sir?"

"C'mere."

She slowly backed towards me, never taking her eyes from Jessie. "Sir?" she asked as she backed into me.

"Look at me Carter…Sam."

She turned quickly when I called her by her first name. The tears were still there, but she was trying to hold them back. I reached up and cupped her face, wiping the tears away with my thumb.

The tears spilled down her face as I pulled her into my arms. She'd done the same for me that first night. It was my turn to be the comforter…even though I couldn't be the way I wanted.

I held her tightly as she cried. Then I guess she realized what she'd done. She backed up quickly apologizing. "Sorry, sir."

"For what?"

"For acting like this. I don't know why I'm getting so emotional over her. I mean we barely know her. What if she's not…"

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't feel this way." I still had my hands on her hips.

_ God, if this is such a bad idea, why does it feels so right?_

I pulled her back to me and ran my fingers through her hair. "Sam…" Then I did something I'd wanted to do for a very long time. I leaned forward and brushed my lips against hers. She tensed and I thought she was going to back off. But, she moaned and, when I ran my tongue along her bottom lip, opened her mouth. I took that as a good sign and deepened the kiss, letting my tongue slip in between her teeth.

_ God, she tastes so good._

She put her arms around my neck and moaned into my mouth. I pulled her closer to me. I ran my hands up her butt and started up the back of her shirt. She broke the kiss and backed up.

"Sir, we can't."

"Sam, you want this as much as I do…and you know it."

"We can't sir. Not right now."

Damn. Talk about being shot down. She was basically telling me that she _didn't _want this as much as I did. I sighed and let her go. "You're right. I'm sorry Major." I started to turn away from her.

I felt the air move as she stepped up to me. I closed my eyes and turned my face away from her. I didn't want her to see the pain and disappointment from her rejection in my eyes. She put her hands on the sides of my face and turned it to hers and lightly brushed her lips against mine. I opened my eyes and stared into her beautiful blue eyes. "Not _now_ Jack. I want to make sure Jessie's ok before anything else. Right now, she's my top priority."

_ Oh wow. Ok. I can deal with that._

"Another time then." I smiled brushing her hair behind her ears. "Sam?" I whispered, leaning forward.

"Hmmm?"

"I love you," I whispered again kissing her again.

Breaking the kiss, she cupped my cheek and caressed it slowly. "I know Jack. I've always known. I love you too." I thought my heart would burst through my chest.

I kissed her lightly on the lips again and then we parted. Good timing too because the doc walked in.

"Doc when is she going to wake up?" I whined and tried to act like nothing had happened.

"I don't know, sir. Coma patients are in a different league. Some wake up within days."

"Yeah, but it's been almost a month." I looked at my watch. 2200 hours. About the time we found her.

"Some don't wake up for years, Colonel…if they wake at all."

"She's going to wake up. I know she is."

"Yes sir," she said exasperated. Then she turned to us with aggravation clearly on her face. "You've both been here every day. Don't you have a mission to go on or something? I swear," she said throwing her hands in the air. "You and Sam are going to drive me nuts!"

Jessie's head twitched. "Well, speak of the devil." I grinned.

Her left hand tightened in Sam's and her right in mine. "Come on sweetheart. It's time to wake up," I said, pushing her still-damp hair out of her eyes.

"Doc? She's twitching. She gonna wake up?" I asked anxiously.

"It might take some time, Colonel. Then again, it may just be an automatic reflex."

"Bullshit. She's gonna wake up. I know she is." I rubbed her head. "Come on baby. It's time to wake up."

_ In my heart, I know she's going to wake up. She has too…she just has too._


	4. Jessie

_(The Next Day)_

"_My POV"_

I slowly opened my eyes. The light was too bright so I shut them again. I sensed someone lean over me, blocking most of the light. I opened my eyes again to see a man with salt and pepper hair looking at me. "Yesssss!" the man sitting beside me breathed. "Hi there beautiful," he said with a smile.

I blinked rapidly trying to clear my vision. "Where am I?" I asked in a hoarse voice.

"You're safe baby," said a blonde woman softly as she pushed my hair out of my eyes.

Slight remembrance flooded through me. I closed my eyes as the tears started to fall. I remembered them…Jack and Sam. I remembered they said they would keep me safe.

"Hey now. You're safe," said Jack softly, pushing my hair back again. I opened my blue eyes and looked into brown eyes full of unshed tears. He gasped and his eyes widened…at what I couldn't tell you, until I probed his mind. (_Oh my God! Her eyes are exactly the same color as Sam's)_ "Jessie? Do you remember me…us?" he asked uncertainly.

Shutting my eyes against the overwhelming emptiness inside, I nodded and opened them again. "Jack" (he got this really goofy looking grin on his face); "Sam" (she grinned through her tears and stroked my cheek).

I tried to sit up, but ended up gasping for breath. I grabbed the blanket in a death grip. I _knew_ something was broken inside.

"Easy baby. Let me help," said Jack. He put one hand on my shoulder and the other behind my head and gently pulled me up. "Sam, get behind her," he said to her.

She slid into the bed behind me and propped me against her, wrapping her arms gently around me. "Is that better?"

I shook my head….big mistake…very big mistake. The room spun around and it left me breathless. "Spinning…the room's spinning…fuck...make it stop…please," I barely managed to gasp out. Sam kind of cringed at my choice of language, but I wasn't worried about what she thought my words. I was too busy trying not to hurl. The tears fell silently down my face.

Sam leaned me forward and rubbed my back in slow circles. "Easy angel. Take deep breaths."

I tried my best to do as she said, but it didn't help much.

"Dizziness is to be expected," said another woman, walking into my line of vision. "Here. I'll give you something for the pain."

_Shit a doctor!_

I tensed and huddled against Sam, breathing heavily. I tried to hide my head in her shoulder and gripped Jack's hand tightly. "No, no, no, no, no." I have an unnatural fear of doctors. Hell, you would to if you'd been told that all doctors wanted to do was cut you open and find out why you could do certain things.

Sam kissed the back of my head as Jack stroked the back of my hand. "Shh…it's ok Jessie." said Sam. "This is Dr. Janet Fraiser. She won't hurt you…I promise. I promise I'll keep you safe" the last whispered.

The doctor smiled and I relaxed a little. Sam would keep me safe. How did I know that? I really couldn't tell you. All I knew was she said she would keep me safe…her and Jack.

"Thank you," I whispered, still trembling. Sam held me closer and I relaxed a little more. Still don't like doctors.

"You're _very_ welcome Jessie. It's nice to meet you when you're awake."

"Hey mom," said a new voice.

"Hey sweetheart," said Dr. Fraiser. "Jessie, this is my daughter Cassandra. Cassie this is Jessie."

I saw a girl about thirteen years old walk towards me. "Hi."

"Hi," I said shyly.

She reached out her hand and touched mine. That small touch sent me into a vision. I gasped loudly.

_Small girl…dead village…Sam protecting her…Dr. Fraiser adopting her._

She gasped and jerked her hand back as though she'd been burned. "What happened?" asked Dr. Fraiser reaching for her daughter.

She shook her head. My eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry. I…I didn't mean to…" I trailed off.

Jack cupped my face. "Easy baby." I looked away. "Look at me Jessie." I shook my head. Putting his hands on both sides of my face, he made me look at him. "It's ok. I promise…everything's gonna be ok," he said pushing my hair out of my eyes again. He leaned forward and kissed me on my forehead.

Cassie spoke up. "It was like a flashback, but it wasn't mine. I saw…" she stopped, looking at the fear on my face.

"What did you see?" asked Jack, eyes never leaving my face. He stroked my cheek trying to calm me.

"Don't…please God don't say it," I begged, shutting my eyes against the memories surfacing, the tears streaming down my face.

"I…I'm sorry. I…I have to. They…they need to know," she said softly. "I saw a little girl…around six…maybe seven…I think. There was a man doing things to her that he shouldn't. It hurt her so much. When he was finished, he hit her over and over until she didn't move."

It all came flooding back…the last night _there_. I started to struggle against Sam…tried to get away. "Lemme go. I gotta get outta here," I said as she held me tighter. "He'll find me…he'll kill me. He said he would if I ran away again."

"He won't find you here sweetheart. You're safe here. No one is going to hurt you," said Sam holding me a little tighter. "No one is ever gonna hurt you again." I shook my head.

Jack sat down on the bed and took my hand in his again. "We'll protect you."

I kept shaking my head. "No you can't. He'll find me." I collapsed weakly against Sam, tears streaming down my face. I didn't care. "He always finds me."

"Not this time baby," said Sam kissing the top of my head and rubbing my back in slow circles. I felt her tears falling on my hair. Why was she crying? It didn't happen to her.

"We're going to keep you here for a while and then you're going home with Sam," said Dr. Fraiser.

"Why?" I asked with mistrust in my voice, taking my hand out of Jack's.

"Because we care about you," said Jack, as if it were something I was used to hearing.

"You don't even know me. Why would you take a kid that's been ra…?" I stopped. "Why?"

"Jessie…" Jack began. He took a shuddering breath before continuing. "Jessie…we read your diary. We know what happened to you. We know what was _done _to you."

I was crying again. I jerked away from him. "Then believe me you don't want me. Nobody wants me. Hell, _I_ don't want me."

"You're wrong. Somebody wants you," argued Jack.

"Who? Who would want someone like me?" I asked shakily.

"Me and Sam," he smiled at her. "And Daniel and Teal'c." he added quickly.

"Why?"

"Because you're a kid, baby. You need someone to look after you…to take care of you," said Sam.

I pushed painfully away from Sam's arms. "No I don't! You don't get it, do you! I just want to die!" I screamed as they all gasped loudly. My words caused Sam to sob once and Jack's face to pale considerably. "I can't do this anymore! That's why I came here. Why didn't you just let me fucking die?" I fell against Sam, bawling like a baby.

She wrapped her arms around me again and rocked me slowly as I cried, the sobs painfully wracking my body. Jack looked helpless as I cried. A few minutes later I begged "Please Jack…please let me go" looking at Jack with desperation in my eyes and voice.

He reached for my cheek again. "No baby," he said brokenly. "Jessie look at me." I shook my head. "Please baby…look at me," he begged. I finally looked at him, but the look of love and pain for me, in his eyes made me turn away again.

_Why are you looking at me like that? You don't know me…do you? I know you, but from where?_

He cupped my chin and gently turned my face to his. "What happened to you…what you went through…never should've happened. I promise that it will _never_ happen again."

I fought against the hope rising inside. "I'm scared Jack," I barely whispered, hiccupping through my tears.

"I know baby." I saw a tear slide down his face as he ran his fingers through my hair. "Just believe me when I say that we love you and that _we_ will protect you."

"But…" I started.

"No 'buts'. Listen to me Jessie. We love you…I love you…Sam loves you…Daniel loves you…Teal'c loves you. We will keep you safe."

I started to cry again. "You don't even know me."

I sobbed as he said, "It doesn't matter. One way or another, you're coming home with one of us…or both of us…or all of us."

I'd never had a home…a real home. I was terrified they would find out everything and hate me. I tried to fight the hope inside…a home…a real home…with parents and everything. Yeah right.

"Now," said Dr. Fraiser, "you need to sleep and this will help." She injected something into the iv that was in my arm.

"No." I know Sam felt me tense because she gently tightened her grip on me.

"You still have some healing to do Jessie. The more you sleep, the faster you'll heal," said Dr. Fraiser.

"No sleep. Please, I don't wanna sleep. Please don't make me sleep." I begged, shaking my head trying to clear it. Fast acting whatever it was.

Jack ran his fingers through my hair and held his palm on my cheek. "Why not baby?"

"If I don't sleep, I can't dream."

"Bad dreams?" he asked softly. I nodded. "About what happened to you?" I hesitated and nodded again feeling extremely tired. He squeezed my hand and kissed my cheek. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head. "Ok…" he said smiling sadly. "When you're ready to talk…we'll be here. But, the doc's right. You do need to sleep."

"I'm scared of the dreams Jack," I said trying to fight the sleep creeping up on me.

"We'll be here if you have them," he said.

"Promise?"

"I promise," he said caressing my cheek.

I finally started to relax in Sam's arms. She slowly rocked me to sleep. I watched as Jack leaned down and kissed my forehead. He stood and looked at Sam. I felt her nod and felt Jack crawl into bed with us…both of them promising to protect me. They both told me they loved…loved _me_.

_If only I could believe you._

-------------------------------------------------

_(Two Weeks Later)_

I slowly let them into my world. I still felt as though I knew them from somewhere, but I didn't know from where. I let the some of the walls come down, but I still couldn't tell them everything. They'd read my diary, but they only knew some of it. I couldn't tell them everything…not yet. I was too damned scared. I was scared they would hate me if they knew everything.

I knew they loved each other. A blind person could see that. But, Sam told me that, because they were in the Air Force, nothing could happen between them. They weren't comfortable talking about it, so I dropped it. Now, if they would just quit asking me questions, I'd be happy.

They both told me…frequently in fact…that _they _loved me. I still didn't understand why. After all that had happened to me…that I had done…why did they love me?

I was sitting there playing chess with Sam. Jack was behind me this time, arms wrapped loosely around me. I had my legs propped up on Sam's legs. The board was between us on the bed.

"Ya know…you never did tell us what you like to do for fun," said Jack.

"I dunno," I said being evasive…as usual. Hell, I'd never really _had _fun anyway. Not that I could remember.

"Jessie, come on. You gotta give us something to keep you occupied." said Sam begging playfully.

I sighed. "I _used_ to write…read…draw…listen to music…and play guitar." I looked at my cast. "Doesn't look like I'll be doing much of anything any time soon," I said bitterly. I'd found all that stuff in the basement.

"You will baby…you just need to heal," said Jack rubbing my shoulders. "Just be patient."

"I know," I said tiredly. "I'm just tired of being stuck here…in the infirmary."

"Angel, you had surgery three days ago. You need to stay in here until you're able to be moved," said Sam.

"Then what?"

"Then you're moving into my quarters here on the base…with me," said Sam.

I smiled and her face lit up. "Sweet," I said, causing Sam and Jack both to laugh hysterically.

When they had calmed down, Sam said "Jessie…you said you like to write?"

"Yeah."

"Write what angel?"

I shrugged. "Poems…stories mostly. Some songs."

"Cool. Can we read some?" asked Jack.

"Nope."

"Why not Sunshine?"

_Angel? Sunshine? Ooook._

"I'm…I'm not ready. Not yet Jack," I said firmly, trying to end the conversation.

"Well, will you at least tell us what type of music you like?" asked Jack exasperated, but grinning.

"Linkin' Park's my favorite. I like Metallica, The Ataris, New Found Glory, Green Day, Blink 182…things like that."

"Interesting taste in music you got there."

"I know…" I said looking down, "but…"

"But 'what' baby?" asked Sam.

I wanted to tell her…I really did. Instead, I shook my head. "Nothing Sam…never mind."

"Baby…" began Jack as he massaged my shoulders.

I shook my head. To distract him, I wiggled my finger and my rook floated forward, capturing Sam's queen. Jack started laughing again. I'd never played chess before and here I was beating Sam. I leaned back and motioned for her queen. It flew into my hand.

"That's so cool," said Sam with a grin.

I shrugged, too tired to argue. "Sure," I said stifling a yawn.

"Hey now...I said it was cool, so it's cool," she grinned, tickling the bottom of my right foot.

"Yes ma'am," I said. I couldn't resist smiling back. Sam's smiles were contagious.

She kept tickling me and it caused me to jerk my right leg. It hit my left leg and I saw nothing but white lights. "Sam!" I gasped out. I couldn't catch my breath and I started to panic; the tears started to fall. She immediately stopped.

"God baby, I'm so sorry," she said, leaning forward and taking my head in her hands and placing her forehead against mine, as Jack rubbed my back.

"Breathe, baby, breathe," he said.

"Slow and easy," said Sam.

"I can't!" I gasped out. "It hurts!"

"I know it hurts baby," said Jack. "Just try to breathe slowly like Sam said."

I finally calmed down enough to do as they said. Within a few minutes I'd begun to breathe semi-normally again.

"You ok baby?" asked Jack.

"Yeah," I coughed weakly and collapsed against Jack. "It just hurts sometimes." He tightened his grip on me and kissed my temple.

"Ok…that's enough for today," said Sam. "And I _still_ say that was cool."

"What was cool?" asked Daniel walking in the infirmary. "Hey beautiful," he said kissing me on the cheek.

"Hey Danny," I said yawning, suddenly feeling extremely tired. I leaned back against Jack.

"Show him," said Jack with a proud smile on his face.

I reached out with a finger and motioned for Sam's pawn and then again for my own pawn to take its' place.

"Wow!" said Daniel, as it flew into my hand. He had a big grin on his face, but it faded quickly. "Jack… Simmons is here. He heard about Jessie and…" he trailed off.

I felt Jack tense behind me as General Hammond walked in, followed by a tall lanky man.

"Hello Jessie," said General Hammond.

"Hello General Hammond," I said trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn.

"Colonel O'Neill," said the other man.

"Simmons," Jack sneered.

I immediately didn't like this man. Looking at me, he had a strange predatory gleam in his eyes. I trembled slightly and huddled against Jack. "It's ok baby. I won't let anyone hurt you" he whispered. He wrapped his arms around me gently and kissed the back of my head. Simmons stared at me with a surprised look on his face.

"Jack…Colonel Simmons would like to _talk_ to Jessie," said General Hammond.

"She's not up to it General. She's hurting again and she's sleepy. We were getting ready to put her to bed," said Jack defiantly.

"Colonel O'Neill it's not up to you," said Simmons.

"Wanna bet?" said Jack in a threatening voice.

_(Jack he scares me) _I huddled closer to Jack and Sam moved towards us and took my hand in hers.

_(I know baby…just ignore him. I'm not gonna let him hurt you) _He tightened his grip slightly.

_(What does he want?)_

_(He wants to know how you got here and what you can do)_

_(If I show him, will he go away?)_

_(I don't know baby)_

_(It's worth a try right?)_

_(Only if you think so)_

_(Sam?)_

_(Yeah baby?)_

_(What should I do?)_

_(I don't know baby. Like Jack said…it's up to you)_

I sighed. _(So much for help from the peanut gallery) _I sent to both of them. Their faces fell.

I hung my head and when I looked back up, Simmons said "Well, get on with it."

I flinched and could tell Jack was going to say something stupid because I felt him tense. I didn't want him getting in trouble because of me…I wasn't worth that.

I put my hand on his arm. "Don't Jack.," I pleaded with him.

"Jessie…" he began.

"It's ok Jack."

"Jessie…you don't have to do this."

"I know."

I leaned against him for a second and let him wrap his arms around me. I shut my eyes. When I felt Sam take my hand and squeeze it, I opened them and looked at her.

_(I'm ready)_

She started to move the board. "No…I'll do it," I said quietly.

"Are you sure sweetheart?" she asked with worry and love in her voice.

"Yeah."

_No_

I reached out with my mind and made the board float to the table, landing gently so it wouldn't disturb the pieces.

"Is that _all_ you've got to show me?" said Simmons.

"What do you want from me?" I asked in a trembling voice. Jack held me closer and kissed my head again.

_I'm not gonna let him see me cry_

"How did you get in here?" he asked impatiently.

I felt Jack tense again. "It's ok Jack. I'll be alright."

"Baby, you're not strong enough to do this yet," he protested, growling at Simmons.

"I'll be fine da…Jack."

_Whoa. I almost called him dad. Why did I do that? Wishful thinking I guess._

He caught the slip and looked at Sam. They both smiled. "Are you _sure_ baby?" he asked hesitantly.

I nodded and leaned my head back, resting it on his shoulder for a moment. Then I did something that surprised me as much as it did him…I kissed him on the cheek. He grinned and returned the kiss. Sam helped me sit up while he slid out from behind me. She laid me back on the bed and raised it to a sitting position. I felt a slight twinge in my side that caused me to wince and gasp slightly.

_Maybe Jack was right…maybe I'm not strong enough yet. No. I **have** to do this. That man will go away then_

I closed my eyes concentrating on the layout of the infirmary. I knew that a bunch of machines stood against the left wall. That was as good a place as any.

Sam caressed my cheek and leaned over and kissed my forehead as I opened my eyes.

_(Be careful baby) _I heard her thoughts in my head as she stroked my cheek.

"Be right back," I said, smiling tiredly at them.

I looked at both of them and orbed out. A few seconds later, I orbed back in over by the machines.

"Damn! Now _that _was cool!" shouted Jack.

I grinned and then gasped as my leg collapsed and took me down with it. I cried out in pain. "Mama!" I reached out for Sam as I hit the floor. I knew I'd torn the stitches because I could feel the blood running down my leg.

_Where in the hell did 'mama' come from?_

Jack, Sam, Daniel, and Dr. Fraiser ran towards me, but Sam was there first. Jack steadied my leg as she picked me up and carried me back to the bed. She held me tightly as I cried. The pain intensified causing me to curl up in and odd-shaped ball…one leg sticking out. They both looked helpless as I threw up violently while Sam held my head over the bedpan. Finishing, I went rigid with pain, unable to do anything about it.

Sam got out of the bed as Jack started walking towards Simmons. "Damnit! See what happened?" shouted Jack, fists clenched. "I told you she wasn't up to this!" He drew back his fist and aimed at Simmons.

"Colonel!" barked General Hammond, stepping between them.

"General Hammond, as soon as she is ready, I expect to have this…" he paused and then sneered. "This _child_ transferred to my facility where we can begin testing her abilities."

"Like hell you will!" shouted Sam angrily, also walking towards him. "She's not going anywhere with you!"

He turned to General Hammond. "May I remind you…"

"You don't have to remind me of anything. However, I will remind you that the President himself has stated that Jessie will remain within the SGC."

"We'll see about that," said Simmons.

General Hammond motioned for an SF. "Escort Colonel Simmons from this base!"

The SF snapped to attention. "Yes sir!"

"And airman?"

"Sir?"

"Shoot him if he resists."

"Yes sir," he said, pulling out his gun.

"This isn't the end of this General," said Simmons angrily.

"Oh I think it is. Get the hell off my base."

The tears had slowed, but the pain was still very intense. I heard Jack say "If he comes anywhere near her, I'll kill him."

"You and me both," said Sam.

"Jack," said General Hammond.

"Sir?"

"She is to be protected above all…this is directly from the President." He motioned for everyone to clear the room. "Give them some privacy."

_(Jack? Sam?)_ I thought to them in order to keep from screaming in agony.

"We're here baby," said Jack as they rushed to my side.

"It hurts," I whimpered, trying to fight the nausea building inside again because of the pain.

"I know baby," said Sam, cupping my cheek and brushing the tears away. "Janet?"

"Way ahead of you Sam," said Dr. Fraiser injecting something into the iv. I was so stiff, I think they thought I was going to pass out. Within moments, I was relaxed.

They straightened me out and Janet deadened my knee. The tears wouldn't stop falling. She re-stitched my knee and told them "I don't want you two on this bed tonight. I don't want to take any chances of those stitches coming out again."

They started to argue. "Janet…" began Sam.

"Doc, come on!" argued Jack.

"No Colonel…Sam. She comes first. If Jessie's stitches are torn again, I won't be able to do much else for her."

They finally agreed. But, they both took my hands in theirs and told me they loved me and that _they_ would keep me safe. I ended up crying myself to sleep. I actually felt safe. I felt safe in the hands of…hell, I don't know what to call them. 'Sam' and 'Jack' is safe I guess.


	5. Dreams and Songs

_3 weeks later_

"_Jack's POV"_

I had already decided that once she left the infirmary, Jessie would move into Sam's quarters. She seemed to feel safe with Sam…and me…with us.

"Well, doc? Whatcha think? Can we move her into Carter's quarters now?" I asked.

"Well, if the General ok's it. I think we should move you into a bigger room, Sam. That way, we could just move the entire bed in there." She turned to me with a very strange smile on her face. "I think it would best if the room were closer to yours, Colonel…if not the one next to it."

"Mine? Why?" I asked, trying, and succeeding, to keep the grin off my face.

_Sweet. Carter next door. Could definitely get used to that_

"Well, Jessie feels safest when you're both near her. I'm gonna go talk to the General now. I think both of you should stay here until I get back. I don't want to leave her without at least one of you with her."

"Don't worry, Janet. We're not going anywhere without her." said Sam softly, brushing Jessie's cheek with her fingers. I was falling deeper and deeper in love with her. That simple gesture proved to me that she was going to be a wonderful mother to Jessie…and any children we had.

-

"_Sam's POV"_

Janet came in and said that General Hammond actually agreed that I would be given the quarters next to Jack's. Actually, it's an extension of his room with a door leading to his.

_Hmmm…the possibilities._

I left Jack with Jessie so one of us would be there in case she woke up. It was only 1800 hours, but she was sound asleep. Even though she seemed to be sleeping better now, she was still having nightmares. Before I left, I watched Jack tenderly reach up and smooth the crease in her forehead. I guess she was in the middle of one of those nightmares. At Jack's touch, she stopped whimpering. His touched eased her mind. It made me think of the loss he suffered with Charlie. I don't know how Sara survived losing her only child. I'm not sure I could.

_I swear to God if I find the bastard that did this to her…I'll kill him._

Daniel and Teal'c helped me move my things into our new quarters. It definitely had more room…and it had an actual bed…not a cot. We figured out where we would put her bed. We even set up a screen so she would have _some _privacy. As soon as I can, I'm taking that child shopping. We'd already bought her a few clothes…not much though. A couple of pairs of jeans, t-shirts, panties, etc…the essentials.

Jack stayed out of the store while Janet and I were doing that. He was actually embarrassed. I thought it was cute. The two of us bought her a huge Air Force bear…together. The one thing he bought her specifically from _him_, was a _Colorado Avalanche _jersey. He actually wanted to buy her _The Simpsons_ pj's, but I talked him out of it. She loved the jersey so much she slept in it…that and a pair of kid's boxers.

"Thanks guys." I said.

"You are welcome, Major Carter." said Teal'c.

"No problem Sam." said Daniel.

There was a knock at the door and Jack poked his head in. "You ready for us?"

"Yes sir."

He pulled the bed in, followed by three nurses. I guess they were there to set everything up. Jessie was still asleep. Good. She was easier to move when she was asleep.

"She was in a lot of pain earlier so Doc Fraiser gave her a shot of Demerol and Valium to keep her out for the rest of the night." said Jack quietly.

I couldn't speak without revealing what I felt for this child…this helpless little girl. I wanted to throw myself in his arms and cry over this poor child. I couldn't help it. I still didn't know why I felt this connection with her. I know Jack felt it too. It was weird.

After setting up the bed against the far wall, the nurses left us alone with her. Daniel and Teal'c didn't stay very long either. She looked so peaceful…except for that crease in her forehead was back and she was slowly rocking her head from sided to side…crying out "No…don't! Please don't!" Jack reached over and smoothed it out again. Nightmares again.

_Will they ever stop?_

She whimpered again and a single tear fell from her eye. I reached over and wiped it off.

"God Jack! How could someone do this to her?" I asked, tears beginning to form.

He held his arms open. "C'mere." I went to him and let him hold me as I cried. "I don't know Sam. But, I will find him…and when I do, I'm gonna kill the bastard."

"Get in line Jack."

"Oh no Sam. The line starts behind me." He squeezed my shoulder and lightly brushed my hair with his lips. "I think I'll let the two of you get some sleep. I'll be next door if you need me."

I started to protest, but he cut me off. "Don't bullshit a bullshiter Sam. I know damned well you haven't slept much in the last week…if you've slept at all."

I laughed softly. "I could say the same thing about you Jack."

He grinned. "Yeah, well…I've been kinda distracted." He looked at me and then looked at the door leading to his room and then back to me. "Actually, do you mind if I crash on your couch? I've gotten kinda used to being near you…and Jessie…when I'm sleeping."

"Ya sure ya betcha" I said quickly. I shrugged out of my outer shirt and t-shirt, leaving only my tank top, before crawling into bed…an actual bed. I noticed Jack was watching me. He shrugged out of his shirt and took off his t-shirt. I let my eyes travel down his chest and abs…down to where the hair disappeared into his fatigues.

I watched him as he lay down and try to stretch out on the short couch. That kiss a few weeks ago, still had me reeling. The last two weeks have definitely been interesting….stolen looks, stolen caresses when no one was looking. I knew I loved him more than I'd ever loved anyone.

With a regretful sigh, I rolled over on my back and tried to banish the feel of him from my mind. I glanced up and saw him watching me…fire burning in his eyes. I turned to the wall. I wanted him so badly, but…those damned regulations.

-

"_Jack's POV"_

I cannot believe I just asked the woman of my dreams if I could sleep on her couch. Sheesh. Just thinking about her, took me back to that kiss. Damn. The last two weeks have definitely been interesting….stolen looks, stolen caresses when no one was looking. I loved her so much it hurt sometimes…being this close to her and not being able to do anything about it.

I was seriously considering retiring…again. I would do just about anything to have Sam and Jessie in my life permanently. After Charlie died and my marriage to Sara fell apart, I never thought I'd be happy again…I never thought I'd love again. But, here I was…loving someone I couldn't have while I was still in the military. I knew that with Sam and Jessie, I would be happy again.

_Screw the regs Jack. You love her…she loves you. Surely, that can't be wrong_

I made my decision. I was nervous as hell. I felt like a teenager going out on his first date with an older woman…except I was the older man.

I crawled off the couch and walked over to her bed. "Sam?" I whispered.

She rolled over and turned to look at me. I saw the love and uncertainty in her eyes. "Jack." she said, holding her hand out to me.

I hesitated slightly before taking her hand. I watched my own hand tremble as I took hers. She pulled me gently to the bed. I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her unsurely at first. When she parted her lips, I was lost. All thoughts, clothes, and inhibitions were thrown out the window…so to speak. We started at each other, both realizing there was no turning back.

"Sam." I whispered. "Are you sure about this? Are you sure this is what you want?"

_Please say yes. Oh God please say yes_

"I've never been more sure of anything Jack." she said smiling through wet eyes.

"I love you Samantha Carter…I do. But, if you want, we can wait." I said.

_Please say no. Oh God please say no_

She shook her head and gently pressed her lips to mine. "I've been waiting too long Jack. I love you Jack O'Neill." She wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear "Make love to me Jack."

That's all I needed to hear. "God yes Sam." I said fighting my own tears of happiness.

The rest of the night was filled with sighs and gasps of pleasure between the two of us. We were finally complete. I pulled the covers over us as a clock somewhere in the room struck midnight. I was at peace now.

Before sleep claimed us both, I heard Jessie in my mind and I gasped. I knew Sam had heard it too because she giggled. We'd both temporarily forgotten the telepathy thing. She could sense our thoughts and emotions…even when she was asleep.

_(About damned time)_

-

"_Sam's POV"_

We awoke the next morning to someone pounding on the door…Jack's door.

"Shit!" he squeaked, jumping out of bed and grabbing his clothes. He ran into his room and I heard him yell "Hold your horses!"

I got up and shut the door as he opened the outside door to his room. I went to check on Jessie. She was still asleep.

_Thank God for small miracles._

She'd woken up twice screaming in terror. We both held her until she'd fallen back asleep. I stood there watching her sleep. She looked like a little angel…blonde hair, blue eyes…perfect.

I heard Jack come back in but, I was mesmerized by the little girl sleeping (finally) peacefully. So beautiful…yet so…I can't even describe it. Jack wrapped his arms around me.

"Whatcha doin'?" he asked quietly.

"Shh…Jessie. Thinking how beautiful and peaceful she looks when she's sleeping…but she's still so scared of everything…even us."

He held me tighter and kissed the back of my head. "Baby, let's try not to think about that. Let's think about what we're gonna do when we get her outta here."

"What _are_ we gonna do Jack?" I asked turning in his arms to face him.

"We're gonna be a family…you, me, and Jessie." he said plainly.

"How? _We_ can't even be together because of the regulations. How are _we _gonna raise a child together?"

He pulled me close to him. "I love you Sam. I love Jessie. If I have to, I'll retire again."

"Jack…I don't want you leaving the SGC for me...because of me. I'll resign my commission."

"No. No you won't. You're needed here." he said fiercely.

"And so are you." I said equally fierce.

"Well, then we'll just have to come up with a plan c." he said with a grin.

"Jack…" I began, but he silenced me with a kiss.

"Sam…it will all work out…I promise." he said seriously. "We'll find a way."

"Promise?"

"Sam, I've loved you from the moment you walked into the briefing room and stood up to me and my men…and challenged me to arm wrestling."

I laughed softly, fondly remembering that day. "I love you too, Jack." I said, letting myself relax.

He kissed me again. "Hey, I'm gonna go get a shower and then I'll stay with Jessie and you can go shower."

"Ok."

-

"_Jack's POV"_

I kissed Sam again and left to get some fresh clothes from my room. I still can't believe that it happened. I _finally_ made love to the woman that I love…that I _have_ loved for years. The regs be damned. I wasn't going to lose this chance. This was going to be a very good day.

-

We'd both showered, dressed and were sitting on Jessie's bed watching her sleep. "Sam, why don't I go get us some breakfast from the commissary and bring it back here? That way, the three of us can eat together."

"Sounds good, but don't you think people will think it strange to see _you_ coming out of _my_ room this early in the morning?"

I laughed softly, not wanting to wake Jessie. "No. Everybody on base knows that Jessie's staying with you now."

"Yeah but…"

"What they don't know is…" I paused trying to find the right words. "I…I'm staying with you too." I smiled at the shocked look on her face. "I'm not going back Sam." I reached out and wiped away the lonely tear that appeared. "I can't go back to the way things were. I can't fight it anymore. I love you and I want us to be together. So, either I'm staying with the two of you or the two of you are staying with me."

"I…don't know what to say Jack." she said trembling slightly.

"Say you love me and I'll be happy."

"I love you."

"See? I'm happy now." She laughed softly. "Besides, no one needs to know…it's between us and _our_ little telepath here."

She grinned. "I like that."

"Like what?"

"_Our _little telepath."

I leaned forward and kissed her gently. "Well, she is…or at least she _will_ be ours."

Jessie yawned. _Perfect_ timing.

-

"_My POV"_

I groaned and opened my eyes. "Morning Sunshine." said Jack.

"Morning." I said smiling at him. I yawned and stretched as far as I could before it caused me to gasp.

"Easy angel. Don't stretch so far." said Sam, kissing me on the forehead.

Jack smiled and kissed me on the cheek. I wrinkled my nose and he laughed. "I was just gonna go get some breakfast. You hungry?"

"I guess so."

"Good. Whatcha want to eat?"

"I dunno."

"You want some cereal? I think I can find some _Fruit Loops _for you and me." he grinned.

"Sure."

"What about you Sam? What you want to eat?" he asked.

"Blueberry muffin and coffee please." He kissed me again on the forehead and then kissed her on the lips.

"Yes ma'am." he said. "Be right back."

When he left, Sam climbed in the bed beside me. "Let's see what's on TV." she said, picking up the remote. She turned on the TV and _Rocket Power _was on.

"Wanna watch cartoons?" she asked.

"Sure." I said quietly. She put her arm around me and kissed the top of my head. I actually snuggled against her, laying my head on her shoulder. I was warm and safe…and…comfortable.

"Sam?" I said sleepily.

"Hmmm?"

"What happens now?"

"Now, you keep getting better and we can take you home."

I stiffened and moved away from her a little. "I don't have a home."

She turned my face back to her. I looked away again. She cupped my chin and turned me gently to her. "Angel look at me." I gave up and looked at her. She kissed the top of my head before whispering "You have a home now. You'll always have a home with me and Jack. You understand?"

_Until I tell you everything_

I nodded and she put her arms around me. I relaxed a little. I was almost asleep when Jack came back with the food…followed by Daniel and Teal'c. "Look who I found outside." he said.

"Morning beautiful" said Daniel smiling.

"Hi Danny. Hi Teal'c." I said smiling back.

"Did you sleep well Jessie?" asked Teal'c.

"No…not really." I said softly. Jack and Sam knew I'd had nightmares again. They both rocked me back to sleep after two really bad ones.

"Why not?" asked Daniel.

"Bad dreams."

I felt the song pop into my head as I jerked upright. "No! Please…not now!"

_Oh shit. Please God…not this…not now_

I gasped and tightened my grip on Sam as Jack sat everything on the table.

"Jessie? Baby what's wrong?" I vaguely heard Sam's voice. I felt Jack climb on the bed. "Jessie?"

"Shit! I can't stop it!" I cried helplessly and started drumming the beat with my fingers.

"_Can you feel that?_

_Aw shit!_

_Drowning deep in my sea of loathing_

_Broken your servant I kneel_

_It seems what's left of my human side_

_Is slowly changing in me_

_Looking at my own reflection_

_When suddenly it changes_

_Violently it changes (oh no)_

_There is no turning back now_

_You've woken up the demon in me_

_Get up, come on get down with the sickness_

_Get up, come on get down with the sickness_

_Get up, come on get down with the sickness_

_Open up your hate, and let it flow into me_

_You mother get up, Get up, come on get down with the sickness_

_You fucker get up, Get up, come on get down with the sickness_

_Madness is the gift that has been given to me_

_I can see inside you, the sickness is rising_

_Don't try to deny what you feel_

_It seems that all that was good has died_

_And is decaying in me_

_It seems you're having some trouble_

_In dealing with these changes_

_Living with these changes_

_The world is a scary place_

_Now that you've woken up the demon in me_

_Get up, come on get down with the sickness_

_Get up, come on get down with the sickness_

_Get up, come on get down with the sickness_

_You mother get up, Get up, come on get down with the sickness_

_You fucker get up, Get up, come on get down with the sickness_

_Madness is the gift that has been given to me_

_And when I dream_

_And when I dream_

_And when I dream_

_And when I dream!_

_No mommy, don't do it again_

_Don't do it again"_

"My God Jack!" I heard Sam exclaim.

"Come on baby. Snap out of it…please." Jack begged. I felt as he gripped my hand.

"_I'll be a good boy_

_I'll be a good boy, I promise_

_No mommy don't hit me_

_Why did you have to hit me like that mommy?_

_Don't hit! Ow! You're hurting me!_

_Why do you have to be such a bitch_

_Why don't you,_

_Why don't you just fuck off and die_

_Why can't you just fuck off and die_

_Why can't you just leave me here and die?_

_Never stick your hand in my face again bitch_

_FUCK YOU!_

_I don't need this shit_

_You stupid sadistic abusive fucking whore"_

"Oh God!" cried Jack putting my hand to his face. His face was wet.

_How would you have to see how it feels mommy_

_Here it comes, get ready to die_

_Get up, come on get down with the sickness_

_Get up, come on get down with the sickness_

_Get up, come on get down with the sickness_

_You mother get up, Get up, come on get down with the sickness_

_You fucker get up, Get up, come on get down with the sickness_

_Madness has now come over me"_

I slumped forward and Sam pulled me back and wrapped her arms around me. "Jessie, are you ok? Angel? Say something?" I could hear the panic through her tears. I noticed Daniel and Teal'c were too stunned to say anything.

"Oh God I'm…" I started to apologize, but the sobs beat me to it. Sam held me closer and whispered words of comfort in my ear, trying to calm me down.

"God baby! What was that song?" asked Jack with his own unshed tears.

"I don't know. Sometimes, I remember something and a song pops in my head…I can't stop it." I looked at him helplessly, tears streaming down my face. "What am I?" I asked repeating Daniel's words that first night.

He stared at Daniel who was in shock from my words. Then he took me from Sam's arms and put his own around me, holding me tightly. "You're you…nothing more…nothing less." He held me as the sobs wracked my body. I thought they would tear me apart.

I finally calmed enough to say "I'm a freak." shakily, pain in my voice. That's what I'd always been called. I guess it's true…the song proved it. Yep…I'm a freak.

He gripped my arms gently and held me at arm's length. Letting one arm go, he put his hand on the side of my face. "Now, you listen to me. I said this before and I'll say it again…_you_ are _not_ a freak. You're a very special kid. I love you Jessie…and I don't want to hear you talking like that anymore, you understand?"

I looked away unable to stop the hope building inside. "Sunshine…do you understand?" he asked gently, turning my face to his. I nodded slightly. "I'll take care of you…I promise."

The tears started to fall again and he pulled me close and held me for a few minutes as I cried again. I think he thought maybe I was still unsure of them. But, it wasn't really them…it was me. But, I wasn't going to tell them that.

Pulling back, he gave me a gentle smile, stroked my cheek, and said "Hungry?"

I shook my head. "Well, you need to eat something anyway. Here ya go." he said putting the cereal and juice in front of me. They noticed I'd only eaten half, but I really wasn't hungry after that song.

After eating, Jack cleared the bowls and gave me another glass of orange juice. "Here ya go Sunshine."

"Thanks." I said taking a sip. "Ummm…Jack?"

"Yeah Sunshine?"

"Why do you keep calling me 'Sunshine'?" I asked.

"Because when we actually get you to smile, it's like looking at pure sunlight" he said grinning. I looked away. He noticed and the grin fell. He put his hand on the side of my face again. "If you don't like it, I won't call you that again."

"It's ok…it's just that…" I stopped.

"Just what baby?" he asked.

"I'm not used to this." I whispered.

"Used to what Jessie?" asked Sam pushing my hair out of my eyes.

I looked down and took a shuddering breath. "I'm not used to people caring about me…being nice to me." I looked at Jack and then at Sam. "Not without them wanting somethin' from me…ya know?"

"Well, you'd better get used to it 'cause you're gonna be with us for a long time." said Jack smiling.

I shrugged. "Sure."

_Why can't I believe you? I want to believe you…so why don't I?_

"Baby…Jessie, believe me. If you don't believe anything else, believe that we love you."

I couldn't argue with him so I said "Ok". He kissed my forehead and then handed me back to Sam who did the same.

"Come on…give me that smile that lights up the room." he said jokingly.

Seeing the goofy grin on his face, I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Damn Jack…you're right. It _is_ like pure sunshine." said Daniel grinning himself.

-

_3 Weeks Later_

-

"_Jack's POV"_

Jessie had her final surgery a week ago and everything seems to be healing fine. We still don't know why she can heal others, but not herself. Oh well. I knocked on General Hammond's door.

"Come."

"General I have a small request." I said walking into his office.

"Yes, Colonel?"

I took a deep breath. "We'd like to take Jessie out for a couple of hours."

He looked up and cocked his eyebrow.

_Someone's been hanging around Teal'c for too long_

"We?" he asked.

"Carter, myself, Teal'c and Daniel."

"For what reason Colonel?"

"Just to take her out for pizza sir." I said grinning.

"If it's alright with Dr. Fraiser then I guess it's alright with me." he said.

"Thank you sir." I said relieved. I turned to leave.

"Oh and Jack?"

I turned back to him. "Sir?"

"Take care of her."

"I will sir."

I nearly ran back to our room. I liked how that sounded…_our room_. I opened the door and saw Jessie sobbing on the bed in Sam's arms…full-blown, heart-wrenching sobs.

"What happened?" I demanded. She was fine when I left…sitting there watching _Rocket Power._

"She had a flashback Jack, but she won't tell me what she remembered." said Sam helplessly.

"Shit." I climbed onto the bed and held both of them. I was definitely going to kill the bastard who did this to my baby girl…

_Hang on. Where did **that** come from? My baby girl? I like the sound of it though_

After a while, she calmed down enough to hiccup "I'm sorry."

"For what, baby?" asked Sam smoothing her hair back again.

"For acting like this…for causing you so much trouble. You've got better things to do that deal with…"

"Sunshine…" I interrupted. "There is nothing better than to be with the people you love. I love you…and Sam loves you. That's all you need to think about from now on…ok?"

I saw the hesitation and desperation in her eyes. She still didn't fully trust us. "Guess what?" I said trying to break the tension.

"What?" she asked sniffling. She wiped the tears from her eyes.

"What say you, me, Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c blow this popsicle stand?"

"Huh?" she giggled a little at my words. That made the tension in my heart ease a little.

"You wanna get outta here for a couple of hours?" I asked softly, putting my hand on her cheek.

"Ummm…where?"

"_Pizza Hut."_

"Really?" she seemed both excited and hesitant.

"Really." I said with a grin.

"Jack, you asked?" asked a surprised Sam.

I nodded. "I cleared it with the doc _and_ the General. Teal'c and Danny boy are on their way here."

True to my word, there came a knock at the door. "Come in." said Sam, since technically it was still _her_ room.

They walked in. "Well?"

"All clear." I said.

"Cool." said Daniel.

I noticed Jessie was abnormally quiet. Normally she said 'hi' to Daniel and Teal'c, but this time she toyed with a loose string on her cast.

"You ready for a night on the town?" I asked softly.

"I can't…" she began.

"Can't what baby?" asked Sam.

"I can't walk Jack…how can I go out if I can't walk?"

"I'll carry you." I said, putting end to that…or so I thought.

Her head snapped up. "Fuck that. I don't want anyone carrying me." she said angrily.

"Baby it's ok." I said, flinching at her choice of words. We were definitely going to have to talk with her about her language. But, I let it slide. She was still so uneasy…and scared…can't forget scared.

"No it's not! I don't want to owe anybody anything!"

"Baby, I told you…we're not doing this because we think you owe us something."

_Damnit…why won't she trust me?_

"Then…" she began. I knew the next word was 'why'.

"Ah…no questions" I said holding up one finger. "Trust me Sunshine. We will never hurt you."

"I'm _still_ scared Jack." she said trying to fight the tears welling in her blue eyes. I just wanted to pull her close and hold her…protect her from everything.

"I _know_ baby." I said, cupping her cheek with the palm of my hand and wiping her tears away with my thumb. "I know you've been hurt beyond belief. God knows if I could take that pain away, I'd do it in a second. But, you're just gonna have to trust me that I…that _we_…will _never_ hurt you."

When I dropped my hand, I watched as an internal battle raged within this small child. After a few minutes of agonizing silence, she looked up with wonder on her face. "I do." she said quietly.

"You 'do' what baby?" asked Sam.

"I believe you." she whispered.

"Sweet" I said pulling her into my arms and kissing her temple. I held her for a few more minutes before handing her back to Sam. She was still so light and so skinny.

"The three of us will wait in _my_ room while you two ladies get dressed" I said motioning for Daniel and Teal'c to follow me.

Daniel shut the door behind him. "Jack what are you doing?"

"Huh?" I asked.

"With Jessie." he said bluntly.

"Trying to get her to trust me…us."

"Yeah but are you sure that you and Sam are the ones she needs?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I was starting to get pissed.

Teal'c broke in. "I believe what Daniel Jackson is trying to say is that she is eventually going to leave the SGC."

"I know T." I said running my fingers through my hair. I was nervous for some reason.

"What happens when she's placed back in foster care, Jack." said Daniel.

"Not gonna happen, Danny."

"You have no control over her situation when she leaves Jack."

"Like hell I don't. I've already discussed this with Sam. If Jessie agrees, we're gonna adopt her."

"Jack!"

"What?" I asked, giving my two best friends my best shit-eating grin.

"When did this happen?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "We've actually been talking about it for a few weeks…since she came out of the coma."

"When are you gonna tell her?" asked Daniel.

"I wanted to see what happens first. Maybe in a couple of weeks. She still needs to relax a little more and I think by taking her outta here for a couple of hours a night, she may just do that…and she might learn to trust me…us."

"God Jack!" said Daniel with a grin.

"What?"

"You're gonna be a father…again." he said slowly. I knew he was talking about Charlie.

"Yeah…I'm gonna tell her about Charlie too. After all…she's gonna be his sister and she deserves to know her big brother." I said softly.

"Well…ummm. I guess I should say 'congratulations'." said Daniel.

"Not yet…" I held up my hand. "Nothing's happened yet and I still have to get permission from General Hammond."

_Hell, I don't wanna jinx it_

"Oh…ok."

"Not a word guys…to anyone."

"You have my word O'Neill." said Teal'c.

"Sure Jack." said Daniel.

A knock interrupted us and the door opened. "Jack, we're ready" said Sam poking her head in.

"Ok." I said noticing she'd changed into a form-fitting red blouse and jeans. My breath caught in my throat.

_Beautiful…gorgeous…sexy. Damn…down boy._

We walked back into our room. Jessie was wearing jeans, sneakers, and a black long-sleeved _The Ataris _t-shirt. We asked what music she liked and she'd mentioned that she liked _The Ataris. _I shopped around and finally found a couple of concert t-shirts. She still had the bandage on her leg from the last surgery along with a brace.

She didn't look up when we came in. Watching her play with that loose string on her cast, I had to swallow hard to keep the lump in my throat from surfacing. She was still so insecure…so unsure of herself.

"You ready Sunshine?" I asked gently.

"I guess so." she said softly, still not looking up.

"Hey…" I said softly and walked over to the bed. I cupped her chin and raised her head to look at me. "Trust me."

She took a deep breath and nodded slightly. I slid my hand under her legs and she tensed. "Relax baby. I won't hurt you." When she relaxed, I picked her up and carried her out of the SGC.

It was starting to snow again. We'd had an extremely cold winter and it didn't seem that spring was ever going to show up. Jessie snuggled against my chest and shivered in my arms. That reminded me of something.

"Damn." I said, stopping outside the last checkpoint.

"What's wrong Jack?" asked Sam.

"We forgot to get her a coat." I said turning to Sam. "We bought jeans and stuff, but no coat."

"I'm ok Jack. I'm used to it" said Jessie shivering uncontrollably.

That caused anger to build inside my chest. I didn't even want to think about her being out in the cold…alone…scared. I shuffled her, trying to get my keys. "Sam, get my keys outta my pocket will ya?"

"Which pocket?" she asked, smiling at the look on Daniel's face.

"Left…front."

She got behind me so she wouldn't hit Jessie's leg. Jessie was still shivering uncontrollably. Slipping her hand in my pocket, Sam pulled out my keys. Thank God, Daniel and Teal'c couldn't see her face as she kissed the nape of my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

She tossed the keys to Daniel. "Go get Jack's truck and bring it up here ok?"

He and Teal'c ran to Lot C to get my truck while Sam, Jessie, and I stood just outside the gate.

"Sam, help me take off my jacket."

"No Jack…I'll be alright." said Jessie, trying to get comfortable again.

"Baby, you're cold." I said trying to shrug out of my jacket.

"But, if you give me your jacket, then you'll be cold." she protested, still shivering.

"Maybe, but I'm older and I didn't have surgery a week ago. You need this more than me."

"Listen to your fa…Jack, baby." said Sam grinning at her slip.

I couldn't keep the grin off my face either. "Help me Sam." I could get used to hearing Jessie call me 'dad'.

I stood Jessie up and propped her against me. Sam balanced her while I took off my leather jacket and wrapped it around her. I picked her up again as Daniel and Teal'c drove up. When Sam got it, I sat Jessie on her lap and crawled in on the other side. I propped her legs up on mine.

"Comfy?"

"Yeah I guess." said Jessie, leaning back with Sam's arms wrapped around her. She started to doze with a grin on her face. We noticed that, when she's getting ready to go to sleep, she gets a really goofy grin on her face. We were quickly beginning to love that grin…although it _did _seem familiar somehow…at least to me and Sam.

About six miles down the road, Daniel hit a pothole, causing Jessie to gasp in pain.

"Sorry." muttered Daniel.

"Shit Danny! Be more care…" the words died on my lips as I looked at Jessie. She was white…too white; small fists and jaw clenched in agony; eyes tightly shut, her breath coming in shallow gasps. Sam was slowly rocking her back and forth trying to ease her pain. She looked at me helplessly.

"Stop the truck Daniel." I ordered.

As he pulled of the road, I slid across the seat towards Sam. I saw the unspoken worry in her eyes. Jessie had stopped moving…she'd quit making any sounds at all. Panic rose inside me and I prayed that she hadn't passed out. I pushed the damp hair out of her eyes, which opened at my touch. I saw the agony in them and made my decision.

"Daniel, take us back to the base." I said.

Jessie tried to get her breathing under control. "No Jack." she gasped, trying to sit up. "I'll be ok. It just surprised me…that's all." Sam held her tighter and wouldn't let her up.

"Baby, you're in pain. I know Janet gave you _Tylenol_ before we left." She looked away and a thought crossed my mind.

"You didn't take it did you?" I asked softly.

"No." she said breathing a little easier…not much, but a little.

"Why didn't you take it?" Sam asked.

She looked up, down…anywhere but at us. "The pain…" she trailed off.

"'The 'pain' what baby?" asked Sam, again pushing Jessie's hair out of her eyes.

"It…it lets me know I'm still alive…that he didn't kill me," she whispered but, we all heard her.

Daniel gasped out loud. "Damn."

"Baby…" I began, but didn't know what else to say. I leaned forward and put my head against hers. Sam leaned her own against ours. I reached over and took Sam's hand in mine, my body hiding it.

Jessie backed up to look me in the eyes. "Please Jack. Don't take me back yet." she pleaded softly, tears welling up in her blue eyes. "Please."

"Sam?" I whispered, not removing my eyes from Jessie's. "What do you think?"

"I've got some _Tylenol_ in my purse. She can take it when she gets there."

"Are you sure Jessie?" I asked, silently begging her to say 'no' so I could take her back and take care of her.

"Please Jack." she begged, the plea in her eyes breaking my heart.

Against my better judgment, I sighed and said "To _Pizza Hut_ Daniel."

As he pulled the truck back on the road, I kissed Jessie on the forehead. When I moved my head, I was centimeters from Sam's lips. I kissed her gently and whispered, "I love you".

"I love you too." she whispered back.

I touched Jessie on her cheek and sat up and wrapping my arm around Sam. She laid her head on my shoulder as we drove the rest of the way in silence.

When we got to _Pizza Hut_, I remembered that it was Friday night…it was packed. I carried Jessie in and the waitress met us at the door.

"How many?"

"Five" I said.

"Smoking or non?"

"Non." I said getting impatient.

"Booth or table?" she asked again.

_What is this? Twenty questions?_

"Table." I said impatiently.

"Follow me." said the waitress.

Jessie giggled weakly and Sam tried to hide her grin. We followed the waitress to a corner table. "Would you like an extra chair for your daughter's leg?" she asked.

Jessie tensed when I said "Yes".

_(Easy baby. It's ok)_

She flinched as I raised her leg and slid the chair under her knee. It supported her knee and enabled her to loosen the death grip on the chair she was sitting on.

"Better baby?" I asked as she slumped against Sam, breathing rapidly.

"No" she squeaked. I tucked her hair behind her ear. I wouldn't stay put. Her hair was just like Sam's…unmanageable sometimes.

"Let's have that _Tylenol _Sam." I said.

She reached into her purse as another waitress showed up. "My name is Darla. I'll be your waitress for tonight. What can I get you to drink?"

"Pepsi." I said. "Sunshine?"

"That's fine." she said through clenched teeth. She had a strong grip on my hand…pale…so very pale right now…and she was still breathing much too heavily. I put my hand on her face causing her to open her eyes. They were a dull blue-gray from the pain, instead of the normal vibrant blue.

"Hang on just a little bit longer baby." I whispered as the others gave the waitress their drink orders.

Sam handed me the bottle of pills. "Here Jack."

I let go of Jessie and opened the bottle. The waitress returned with our drinks and I turned to Daniel. "Danny, tell her what we want…you do know what we want right?" I asked.

"Yeah…yeah…yeah." he said giving the waitress our order.

I turned back to Jessie. Sam had put her arm around her, trying to make the pain go away. Jessie had closed her eyes again. "Baby." I said putting my hand on her head again.

_God, she's so pale…and clammy._

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." I said.

She opened her eyes. I could see the unspoken plea in them. She didn't want to go back just yet. Even though she was in pain, she would rather be here than stuck in bed.

"Open." I said. When she did, I popped the pills into her mouth. I handed her _Pepsi_ to her and she gulped half of it down. I kept my eyes on her for a few minutes. She seemed to be relaxing.

We sat there in silence listening to Daniel rattle on about an artifact that SG-6 brought back from their last mission. They brought our breadsticks and I made sure Jessie was comfortable. I gave her a breadstick and some sauce. She hesitated before tasting it, but relaxed after the first bite. I'm like that. Don't like new things.

_(You ok Sunshine)_

_(Yeah. I'm just tired)_

_(You ready to go back?)_

_(Nope)_

About twenty minutes later I looked over and her eyes were shut again. I touched her shoulder, thinking the pain was back. "Baby you ok?"

"Yeah, I was scanning." she said.

"Scanning for what sweetheart?" asked Sam.

"Songs on that machine over there." she said quietly.

"You can do that?" asked Daniel. "You can see what's on the player?"

"Yeah." she said with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Still wary of her abilities.

"Did ya find anything good?" I asked, gently squeezing her shoulder, reassuring her.

"A few songs I know." she said.

"Want some money to play them?" I asked as we all reached into pockets to give her money.

"Nah, I can do it from here." she said closing her eyes again.

A few seconds later, music came from the speakers above us…but, I got the feeling it wasn't one of hers. She wrinkled her nose as something by N'Sync started playing. She sagged a little…breathing a little heavier than she should have been.

"You ok?" I whispered.

"Yeah." she said tiredly.

_(Don't use your powers anymore tonight ok?")_

_(Why Jack?)_

_(It makes you tired and we still have pizza to eat and fun to have)_

_(Ok) _she giggled

"That's my girl." I said with a grin.

"What'd you play?" asked Daniel.

"A couple of songs by _Linkin' Park_." she said.

"Oh…ok." said Daniel. I know for damned sure he had no idea who they were.

"Is that ok?" she said hesitantly and looked to Sam for reassurance.

"Yeah baby, it's fine." said Sam stroking her face gently.

"You like rock music?" asked Daniel.

"It's all I know." she whispered.

Sam scooted closer to her as I put my arm around Jessie's shoulders and glared at Daniel. "Hey now. Rock is fine with us." I said, also glaring at Daniel. He held his hands up in surrender.

_Don't mess with my baby girl_

"I just figured with you being a young girl, you'd pop music…you know…N'Sync, Britney Spears, and the Backstreet Boys." said Daniel, trying to get back into my good graces.

She made a rude noise that caused me and Sam to laugh. "Not hardly. Rock's the only music I listen to."

"Why?"

"Daniel, for cryin' out loud! Shut up and let her eat!" I said getting a little pissed.

"It's ok Jack." she said grinning at my over protectiveness. "I like it because some of the songs helped me when…" she trailed off and looked down.

Sam leaned over and kissed her on the side of her head and whispered something. She shook her head sadly at whatever Sam said.

"This is my song." she said softly.

"Who is it? What is it?" I asked.

"Linkin' Park…_Crawling_. It's…." she said looking down.

"It's what?" asked Sam.

"It's how I feel…how I always feel." she said, sadness and emptiness in her voice.

We watched as she closed her eyes and lip-synced the lyrics to the song.

"_Crawling in my skin  
These wounds they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall  
Confusing what is real  
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface  
Consuming  
Confusing  
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending  
Controlling  
I can't seem  
To find myself again  
My walls are closing in  
Without a sense of confidence, and I'm convinced  
That there's just too much pressure to take  
I've felt this way before  
So insecure  
Crawling in my skin  
These wounds they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall  
Confusing what is real  
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me  
Distracting  
Reacting  
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection  
It's haunting how I can't seem  
To find myself again  
My walls are closing in  
Without a sense of confidence, and I'm convinced  
That there's just too much pressure to take  
I've felt this way before  
So insecure  
Crawling in my skin  
These wounds they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall  
Confusing what is real  
Crawling in my skin  
These wounds they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall  
Confusing, confusing what is real  
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface  
Consuming  
Confusing what is real  
Its lack of self control I fear is never ending  
Controlling  
Confusing what is real"_

That nearly brought tears to my eyes. The fact that this ten year old child could relate to that song, broke my heart.

"You don't have to feel like that anymore baby." said Sam hugging her tightly.

"I…" she began.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." she said softly.

"Baby…" began Sam, but at that moment they brought out the pizza . I made sure she had the first slice. Then I noticed she wasn't eating…just sitting there staring at the pizza.

"Jessie" I said softly.

"Hmmm?" she asked.

"You've never had pizza before…have you?" I asked.

"Nope" she whispered. "I always had to stay in the car when they…" She closed her eyes.

"You know what?" I asked, scooting as close to her as I could.

"What?" she said sadly.

"Jessie, look at me." She did and I could see the sadness in her deep blue eyes. It was like looking into Sam's eyes when she was sad. I shuddered.

"I'm glad that we could give you your first taste of pizza. That makes this a very special night." I said kissing her forehead.

"Thank you." she said very softly. I knew she wasn't just talking about the pizza. Hell, we all knew it.

"Let's eat." said Sam giving her a kiss too.

We ate the rest of meal in silence…except for the music she played. The songs were definitely different from what I was used to hearing. _One Step Closer, Lying From You,_ and _A Place for My Head _definitely woke us up to her situation.

She only ate one piece, but I was happy. She didn't seem to have much of an appetite. But, after being starved for several years, I guess she was used to existing on small amounts of food. She barely ate enough to keep a mouse alive. We were going to have to change that.

It wasn't until we were ready to go that I noticed she'd gotten really quiet. "Hey guys." I whispered.

"What?" asked Daniel.

"Shh…look at this." I said grinning and pointing to Jessie.

She was slumped in her chair, head leaning on Sam's shoulder…sound asleep. She was so adorable. But, that position couldn't be comfortable.

"Awww…now that's cute." said Daniel with a grin.

I reached down and gently picked her up. She whimpered a little when I shuffled her, but she stayed asleep. "Shh…you're ok." I whispered, kissing her on the forehead.

I carried her back out to the truck and laid her in Sam's lap again. I sat next to them again with my arm draped around Sam's shoulders.

"Hey Daniel."

"Hey Jack…what?"

I laughed softly, not wanting to wake the angel sleeping in Sam's arms. "Run by my house. There's something I wanna get."

"Ok."

-

"_Sam's POV"_

We drove to Jack's house and he ran inside to get something. I kept asking him what he was getting, but all he would say was "it's a surprise". Jessie woke as soon as he shut the truck door.

"Where are we?" she asked sleepily.

"Shh baby…we're at Jack's house. Go back to sleep."

"Mom…uhhh…sorry. Sam?"

"Yeah baby?" I said with a grin.

_I will definitely get used to her calling me 'mom'_

"Why are we here?"

"Jack said he needed to get something."

"Oh."

She settled back against me.

"Jessie?"

"Hmmm?"

"You can call me 'mom' if you want to." I said.

I felt her stiffen. "No…I can't."

"Why not baby? It's ok with me. Jack said you could call him 'dad' if you wanted to."

"No…I can't…please don't." she said with a catch in her voice.

"Jessie?" I turned her face to the streetlight and saw tears of anguish falling down her face.

_Ok. What just happened?_

Jack chose that time to open the back of the truck and put something inside. When he crawled back in, he noticed Jessie was still crying softly.

"Jessie…what's wrong baby?" he asked, worry plain in his voice.

"Nothin'." she said and turned away from him.

He looked at me for an explanation. "I don't know." I mouthed silently and kept rocking her.

The trip back to the SGC was eerily quiet. Jack carried her back to our room and I helped her get ready for bed. She hadn't said a word since Jack got back in the truck. She lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, tears falling silently down her face.

Jack pulled me into his room. "Sam…exactly what happened while I was in the house?"

"She called me 'mom'."

"That's a good thing right?"

"Yeah, but then she apologized. I told her she could call me 'mom' but she said she couldn't. When I asked her why, she wouldn't tell me."

"Well, we're gonna find out right now." he said, taking me by the hand and leading me back into our room.

She wasn't crying anymore, but she still looked so sad.

"Jessie?" said Jack.

"What?" she said rolling, as best as she could, away from us.

We sat down on her bed. "Why can't you call us 'mom' and 'dad'? It's ok with us." That's Jack…straight to the point.

"I just can't ok? Please…just drop it."

"No baby. Look at us." he said, gently turning her over. She stared at the ceiling, not meeting our eyes.

Jack shook his head. "I thought you said you believed me?"

"I do." she said raggedly.

"Then baby…talk to us…please. What's wrong?" I pleaded.

She took a deep shuddering breath and let it out in a sigh that broke my heart. I took Jack's hand in mine and felt him grip tightly. He'd also heard the pain in that one sigh. How someone who'd been hurt that badly could feel so much was beyond me.

"I'd been in an orphanage since I can remember. I stayed with some people when I was…like five. They said I _had_ to call them 'mom' and 'dad'. I didn't have a choice…none of us did…especially me and Landon. He tried to protect me, but he…he couldn't." Her voice cracked on the unfamiliar name…unfamiliar at least to us.

She looked away again. "I didn't remember my parents so I did. I thought everything was fine…until they found out what I could do."

The tears started to fall again at the memory. "She tried to…how did she put it…beat the devil out of me. She said I was possessed and that she was going to beat the devil out of me."

She looked back at us. We could see the pain, anger, loss, and something else…longing…all visible in her blue eyes…so much pain for someone so young. "Baby, that was then and this is now." Jack said. "We're not going to hurt you. We're not going to let anyone hurt you again."

"That's what he said. But, he never stopped her" she cried. "They took me back to the orphanage and told them I was a bad child…with powers from the devil. The people at the orphanage wanted them to prove it, but I knew better. I didn't do anything, so they let me stay at the orphanage until…" she stopped.

"Baby, you know in your heart that we love you and we will do everything we can to protect you."

She looked up at me with such pain I did choke back a sob. "I don't know what to do Sam."

"I know baby. Just trust us…trust your heart" I said, pulling her into my arms.

I looked at Jack who had tears in his own eyes. "I think we should tell her now." he said softly.

"Tell me what?" she said, trembling against my shoulder.

-

"_My POV"_

"We were gonna wait a couple of weeks before doing this, but it seems like the right time." said Sam.

"Do what?" she could hear the fear in my voice.

Jack smiled at me. "Baby do you know what adoption is?"

"Oh yeah, I know what it is." I said bitterly, sitting up with the tears streaming down my face. "It's something that happened in the orphanage to every kid but me. I kept hoping that if I was good, someone would come and take me away…a real home. But, they never did. Then they put me in the last home…" I stopped again.

Jack flinched. "Baby, we…that is Sam and I…would like to adopt you…if that's ok with you."

"Why?"

"Because we both love you and we feel that you would make an excellent part of our family." said Jack.

"Jessie, we want to take care of you. We hope that you love us like we love you, but we'll understand if you don't." I know I looked shocked at that. She grinned at me and put her hand on my face, stroking my cheek gently. "After what you've been through, I know it's hard to trust anyone…especially an adult. But, if you would give us a chance, I think we could be pretty cool parents" said Sam.

I looked away at a picture on the wall of SG-1. "Just think about it ok?" Jack pleaded with me. He took my hand in his and squeezed it gently.

I was silent for a moment. "No." I said.

They both stiffened. "'No' you don't want to think about it or 'no' you don't want us to adopt you?" Sam asked, voice quivering.

"I don't have to think about it. I'm scared, but…" I looked back at them.

"But what baby?" she asked.

"I guess we could…try it." I said hesitantly.

"Yesssss…" hissed Jack, pulling me from Sam's lap onto his. "I'm gonna have a daughter!"

"Hey now." said Sam. "I am too" and pulled me back on her lap.

We sat there for a while…just talking. I still wouldn't tell them everything…I couldn't. It didn't matter that they were going to be my parents. Once they knew everything, it was over.

Jack sat up suddenly and snapped his fingers. "I knew I forgot something."

"What?" asked Sam.

"What I went to the house for." he said. "Be right back."

I snuggled against Sam and started to fall asleep again as she rocked me slowly. "Sam?"

"Yeah angel?"

_What's with the nicknames? Sunshine…Angel? Sheesh_

"I'm sorry for acting stupid when you said I could call you 'mom'. I want to…I do. But…please…just give me some time ok?"

"You got it angel." she said hugging me.

-

"_Jack's POV"_

About twenty minutes later, I returned. Jessie had already fallen asleep. I really hated to wake her, but I wanted her to have this.

"Jessie…wake up." Sam gently nudged her awake.

"Wha…" she sat up sleepily. "What's goin' on?"

"I got something for you." I said pulling the guitar from behind my back.

"What's this?" she asked.

"A guitar." I said with a grin.

"I know that. What's it for?"

"It's for you."

She sat up. "What? Why?" I could see the excitement warring with the wariness.

"I want you to have it…if you want it. When your cast comes off, I'd like to hear you play…we'd like to hear you play."

"Really?" she asked.

"Really."

"Jack…I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll take it."

She laughed. "I'll take it…thank you." she said from her heart. It made my heart jump with joy.

I sat the guitar down and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you so much Jack…Sam."

"You're welcome baby."

"Jessie?" I said.

"Hmmm?"

"You _can_ call me 'dad' you know." I said unable to keep the hope from my voice.

"Gimme some time Jack…please." she pleaded softly.

I knew that moment, eventually, she would call me 'dad' and that day would be one of the happiest days of my life…if not _the _happiest.

"Take all the time you need Sunshine."

She relaxed and let Sam rock her to sleep again. She knew that we would be there when she woke up. We ended up falling asleep curled around her. For the first time since we found her, she slept the entire night…without any nightmares.

_Down With The Sickness – Disturbed_

_Crawling – Linkin' Park_


	6. The Stargate

_(2 weeks later)_

"_My POV"_

As the days went by, we got into a regular routine. During the day, Dr. Fraiser would come in and check on me…blood pressure, blood samples…things like that. I felt like a damned pin cushion. I'd moved into Jack's quarters so he and Sam would have their privacy…just between us though.

I finally got the cast on my arm off. I'd been practicing the guitar again, trying to building the strength up in my left hand. They'd heard me playing, but I wasn't up to playing a full song for them. I played mainly songs by _The Ataris _and _Green Day_. Even though it was loud, they seemed to like my playing.

My legs were getting stronger, but I still had to use crutches because they were weak. Jack and Sam had been helping me with physical therapy, but I was getting frustrated. I just wanted to be able to walk on my own again.

Sam and Jack always made sure that someone was with me at all times. If it wasn't one of them (which most of the time it was), it was Daniel, Teal'c, Janet, or Janet's daughter, Cassie. Now, she was cool. She was from another planet, but the only survivor of her village's destruction by the Goa'uld. I actually talked to her about what happened to me. But, I made her promise that she would _never _tell Jack or Sam…or anyone for that matter.

While I was stuck in the room, Jack made sure that I had plenty to do. Homework, he called it. Sheesh. I was so bored. According to Sam, I should be in at least the fifth grade. But, they quickly changed their minds…I was reading on an 11th grade level…doing college math and science. They said I was smart, but I didn't believe them. I'd been told my entire life that I was stupidDaniel brought me a book…_The Lord of the_ _Rings_ by J.R.R. Tolkien to keep me occupied…big book…really big book. It was cool. They said I was really smart for my age.

I hadn't been vertical in a while. They made me stay in bed the whole time because I was still so weak. When I had to pee, Sam took me. When I had to take a bath, Sam helped me. I was in the middle of "_The Fellowship of the Ring_" when they came back from off-world. I guess they thought I was asleep, because they were whispering when they walked in. I was supposed to be asleep anyway.

"Hey sweetheart." they said coming over to kiss my forehead.

"Hiya." I said smiling tiredly.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" asked Jack.

"I was, but I woke up. What time is it?"

"About 4:30." said Jack.

"Whatcha reading?" asked Sam.

"_The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring_. Danny gave it to me."

"Damn. Isn't that a little advanced for a ten year old?" Jack said grinning at me.

"Just because _you_ can't get through it doesn't mean she can't," said Sam, teasing him.

I giggled when he stuck his tongue out at her and they sat down on the couch in my room and Jack said, "Jessie?"

"Hmmm?"

Jack motioned for me to sit on the couch with them. "C'mere sweetheart."

I grabbed my crutches and slowly hobbled over, apprehensive because of the look in their eyes. I can't really describe it. Love, hope, anxiety…it was all there. Still not used to that.

"What's going on?" I asked, Jack pulling me onto his lap.

"Well," Jack cleared his throat "you know this is a military base."

"Well, duh." I said.

He looked at Sam wide-eyed. "Smart ass." He grinned, gently tweaking my ear. "Help me out here," he said to Sam.

She grinned. "What Jack is trying to say baby, and not very well," he stuck his tongue out at her again and I giggled nervously. "is that this base is _very_ top-secret. What goes on here can never be known outside. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, you want me to keep my mouth shut when I leave. I'm good at that. I know about keeping secrets." The last said with a whisper. I looked away, not wanting to be reminded of my situation…again.

They both flinched. They knew what I was referring to. We don't talk about it because I don't want them to hate me. Jack tried to bring it up a couple of times, but I kept changing the subject so he dropped it. Sam turned my face back to look at her. "We know you can keep a secret, baby…and by the way, it's when _we_ leave…not when _you_ leave. But, anyway, we want you to know exactly what goes on here."

That caught me by surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Cool."

"That's exactly what I said." said Jack with a grin.

I frowned. "Why?"

"Because you're going to be part of our family and you need to know what it _is_ we do."

"I already know that." I said.

"Yeah, but there's _another_ family that you're gonna be a part of too." said Sam.

"What family?" I asked.

"SG-1." said Jack.

The phone rang. Jack sat me on Sam's lap and went to get it. "O'Neill." He listened for a few moments and walked back over to us.

"Come on." He turned around and patted his back.

"What?"

"Don't tell me you've never had a piggyback ride."

I looked the floor, suddenly finding my feet really interesting. I guess my silence gave him his answer.

"Sam, help her stand." he said softly.

Sam sat me on the bed and then stood, helping me stand up. "Come on. Up you go."

When I'd gotten my balance, she told me "Put your arms around his neck."

"I'll hurt him." I protested.

"No, you won't." she promised.

I put my arms around his neck from behind. "Now, jump up."

I jumped and ended up falling to the floor on my bad leg. I grabbed at my knee. I cried out in pain and gasping for breath.

"Breathe, baby, breathe." said Jack rubbing my back.

"Ow, ow, ow." I cried. I was working on cleaning up my language. They didn't like it and I didn't want to do anything to piss them off. Sam held me as he continued to rub my back until the pain subsided.

"Let's try this again." said Jack, kneeling with his back to us. Sam helped me and he grabbed both of my legs, brace and all. I moved my left arm down to his chest so I wouldn't hurt him. He stood and I flinched, my breath coming out in a hiss as he jostled my leg.

"You ok sweetheart?" he asked getting still.

"Yeah." I said as I felt a twinge in my leg. "I'll be alright. Hey, this is fun." I said trying to distract him.

It worked. Laughing, he carried me out of our quarters and down the hall.

We came to set of doors with a young guard on it. He gave me a strange look. Jack only nodded and said, "Open it."

The guard hesitated when he looked at me. Jack shook his head and sighed. "Call General Hammond. He should already be in the Gate room. This has already been approved."

_(Baby, remind me to write him up)_

_(For what Jack?)_

_(For being an idiot and not listening to the announcements this morning)_

_(Jack?)_

_(Yeah baby?)_

_(You never listen to the morning announcements)_

Sam and Jack both laughed at that. "She's got you there."

The guard turned to the phone. "Sir, Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter are outside the Gate room.." He listened for a few seconds. "Yes sir, she's with them."

Then he slid his card in and the doors opened. "This is what we call the Gate room." said Jack as he carried me into the room.

I saw Daniel, Teal'c, Janet, and General Hammond smiling at me. "Welcome to Stargate Command, Jessie." said General Hammond.

Jack set me down and leaned me against him so I could get my balance after my first piggyback ride. He threw his arms over my shoulders, locking his hand over his wrist in front of me…as if daring someone to try something.

_Protective much?_

"What is this place?" I asked quietly, afraid to say anything loud in the quiet room.

"You see that big ring thingy over there?" asked Jack, pointing.

"Yeah."

The ring started moving. I jumped and huddled against Jack.

_ Incoming wormhole _

General Hammond spoke up. "Close the iris."

"It's alright. It's not going to hurt you." he said, squeezing me gently.

I reached over and put my hand in Sam's. "You're safe." she said. I might have been ten, but I felt smaller. But, for some reason, I knew that with Jack and Sam with me, I'd be safe. I relaxed a little.

"What's happening?"

"Just watch." said Sam with a big grin on her face.

_(I dreamed this)_

They both look at me in shock. "What?" asked Jack.

_(This was in my dreams a couple of weeks before I came here)_

They only nodded. I could tell they were freaked. Hell, I would be too if it wasn't actually happening to me.

"Hey! That's my birthmark!" I said in surprise, pointing to the first symbol on the gate. That earned me cocked eyebrow from Teal'c and a laugh from everyone else.

"I love this part." said Jack.

_ Whoosh _

I jumped again. "What's that?" I asked.

Jack smiled and said, proudly, "That is the Stargate." He rested his chin on top of my head.

"What's it for?"

He looked at General Hammond and I knew he was asking permission for something. Apparently he got it because he said, "That allows us to go to other planets."

"Like Saturn?"

"Kind of. You notice Teal'c isn't exactly like us?"

"Yeah. He's got…what did you call it? Junior inside him."

They all laughed at that. "Yeah. He's from a planet called 'Chulak'. He's called a Jaffa."

_ We have a signal, General _

"Who is it?" asked General Hammond, as Jack positioned me behind him, never losing contact.

_Master Bratac, sir _

"Did you know about this, Teal'c?" asked Jack, looking at him.

"I did indeed, O'Neill. I knew you wished to show Jessie the Stargate. So, with General Hammond's approval, I contacted Master Bratac and explained the situation. He is also bringing Rya'c."

Two people stepped through the Stargate. The older man looked kind of like Teal'c. He had the same symbol on his head, the only difference being he was white. The younger looked like a mini-Teal'c.

"Master Bratac." said Teal'c clasping the other man's arm with his.

The older man walked over to General Hammond and kind of rubbed the top of his head. "Hammond of Texas."

"Good to see you again, Master Bratac."

"Where is this 'Jessie' I have heard so much, yet so little, about?"

Jack moved a little and I tried to hide. "It's ok baby. He won't hurt you."

I wasn't going to move. The other man walked towards me. "Jessie. I am Bratac of Chulak. I am pleased to finally meet you."

I was getting tired of standing and I was starting to get dizzy again. It's kind of painful when you can only put your weight on one leg. I simply smiled at him and said, "Hello, Master Bratac."

"Polite child." he said. He must have sensed something because his eyes widened. He tilted his head and said "This one is special."

They all laughed, but Jack quietly said, "We know." I tilted my head up to look at him and he just grinned, kissed me on the forehead, and shrugged, "Well, we do."

I looked at Sam. "We do know," she said quietly, putting her hand on the side of my face.

Teal'c stepped forward. "This is my son, Rya'c. Rya'c, this is Jessie."

"Hello." said Rya'c.

"Hi." I said shivering slightly.

The phone rang, its' sound echoing through the room. General Hammond picked it up. "Hammond." He listened for a few seconds and then handed the phone to Janet. "Doctor."

"Fraiser." she said. She listened for a moment and then hung up. "Meet me in the briefing room in thirty minutes."

"Doc, what's going on?" asked Jack.

"I think we may have our answer to the main question." said Janet as she left the room.

Jack could tell I was getting tired. I leaned heavily against him again and he put his arms around me again. I'd been standing for about ten minutes and my body wasn't used to being upright. I was shivering even though it was warm in the Gateroom. I think I had a fever. Jack felt the shivers in my body.

"Baby, you okay?" he asked quietly.

"I don't feel so good dad." I said closing my eyes and shivering, not caring about the slip.

Jack smiled and picked me up tucking me against him. He kissed my forehead as I laid my head on his shoulder and tried to relax. "Hmmm…you feel kind of warm baby girl." He turned to General Hammond. "General, Jessie's not feeling well, so I'm gonna go lay her down and I'll meet you in the briefing room."

"Jack is she alright?" asked Daniel, worriedly.

"Yeah, she's just tired from all the excitement I guess."

"Ok. Take care of her and meet us there." said General Hammond.

Jack carried me back to my room. He laid me on the bed and whispered, "Sleep now baby." kissing me on the cheek.

"Ok." I said, letting myself relax. I shut my eyes as Sam, sitting above me, stroked my hair. That, above everything else made me doze. It was comforting in a strange way.

They both sat with me until I was almost asleep. The phone on Sam's desk came rang, jerking me awake.

"Mom…?" I sleepily asked. I opened my eyes and looked around. I was shivering again.

"Damnit, she was almost asleep." she said with a tight grin, getting up to answer it. "Carter." she growled at the phone. She listened for a few seconds and then hung it up.

Jack rubbed the hair from my eyes and put his hand on my forehead. "I think you've got fever." He reached for the thermometer tape and put in on my forehead. "Hmmm…" he said, looking at the tape. "Yep…you've got fever…102°" he sighed. "That's pretty high."

"Jack, they're ready in the briefing room."

"Call them back and tell them she's running a fever, so we're not going anywhere."

Sam picked up the phone. "Janet, Jessie's running a fever. It's going to be a while before we make it up there." She turned to Jack. "How high?" He told her and she told Janet. She listened for a few seconds. "Ok."

"What'd she say?" asked Jack.

"She's sending some _Tylenol _down for her to take. She said to bring her up after she takes it."

"Why do we have to move her now?"

"General Hammond's orders, Jack."

"Oh for cryin' out loud!" he exclaimed brushing my hair out of my eyes.

A few minutes later there was a knock at the door and Sam moved to open it. "Yes?"

"Dr. Fraiser told me to bring this for the child." said a male voice.

Jack spoke up. "Her name is Jessie."

"Yes sir I know. I'm sorry sir."

Sam took the pills from the nurse and shut the door. She got me a glass of water out of the small refrigerator in the room. Jack helped me sit up. I was still shivering. "Cold?" he asked. I nodded. I always got cold when I had fever. He wrapped the blanket around me and pulled me onto his lap. I lay my head on his shoulder and tried to go back to sleep. I was ten but I felt like a baby.

"That better?" he asked. I nodded. "Good girl. Now open."

I opened my mouth and he popped the pills in. He held the glass as I drank, sputtering slightly because I was still shivering. "Good girl."

"Sam, help us up."

She took his hand and helped him stand with me in his arms. "You ok?" he asked.

"I just wanna sleep, dad." I begged tiredly. Once again, I didn't care about the slip. I was so freaking tired.

He smiled slightly and kissed my forehead. "I know baby. We'll get you back here as soon as we're finished." He balanced me and said, "Lead the way, Sam." he said as we walked out of the room.


	7. Family

"_My POV"_

I just wanted to sleep. I was so tired. Even with Jack jostling me around, I was almost asleep by the time we reached the briefing room. He sat me down in a chair between him and Sam. Sam reached over and took my hand as I tried to curl up, but it's not easy with a brace on. So, I just slumped and dozed.

"What's up, doc?" asked Jack. I opened my eyes and giggled slightly. He turned and grinned, waggling his eyebrows at me. Then he saw the fever in my eyes and caressed my cheek with his palm. I could see that he was worried about me. Then he reached down and took my other hand.

Janet took a deep breath. "We found her biological parents."

Five words. Five simple words and my world came apart. I wasn't going to be adopted. My hopes of _finally _having a family disappeared.

"What?" Jack asked in a strangled voice. Sam choked on a sob. Their hands tightened around mine. They both moved closer to me. They weren't giving me up without a fight.

"You remember I mentioned the protein markers in her system?"

They all said, "Yes."

"Well, come to find out, it's hereditary…from her mother."

She turned to me. "Do you know who your parents are?"

I shook my head weakly. My head was beginning to pound, tears sliding silently down my face.

"During the examination of her blood, we also found that she has a different set of protein markers in her blood. These we believed were from her father. So, to test a theory, we ran a DNA test."

"And what did you find doctor?" asked General Hammond. Jack and Sam were getting impatient.

Janet took a deep breath. "Her parents are here…on the base."

"Well? Who are they?" Jack demanded. "Why in the hell haven't they come forward?"

She tried to stifle a grimace. "Apparently, they have no clue that she is their daughter." She paused for dramatic effect, her lips set in a slight grin.

"Now, how is that possible?" asked Jack, not believing her.

"Why don't _you_ tell me? _You_ and Sam are her biological parents."

Daniel and General Hammond laughed out loud. Teal'c tried to hide his grin.

"What? How in the hell is _that_ possible?" Jack asked squeezing my hand.

"I agree with the Colonel. I think I would remember having a child…with him."

He cocked his eyebrow at her. She just shrugged her shoulders. "Not that I wish it weren't true angel," she said tucking a stray hair behind my ear. I couldn't even find it in me to return her smile. I just looked at her with sadness in my eyes. Yep. I said it before and I'll say it again…my life simply sucked. I looked away.

She started to say something as a bright light filled the room. "Perhaps I can answer that, Colonel O'Neill…Major Carter."

Jack's hand tightened around mine. He could feel the slight tremors in my body as I shivered again. He reached around me and pulled the blanket tighter around me and kissed me on the forehead.

_(Who's that?)_

_(Heimdall)_ – Sam

"Heimdall," said Sam aloud "whatcha doin' here?"

"Colonel O'Neill asked how she could be your daughter. I can give you the answers you seek."

General Hammond looked from Heimdall to Jack. "By all means." he said.

"A few months ago, you and Major Carter were trapped on board a Goa'uld' ship."

"We know that." said Jack, sarcastically.

"When the Asgard realized this, we transported you both to our ship."

"Yep. Don't remember much about that actually." said Jack.

"You were both severely injured. We healed you. In the process, we came to realize that the two of you had a specific genetic makeup. Major Carter's blood contains the protein markers left from your blending with Jolinar. Colonel O'Neill, your genetic makeup is enhanced due to the knowledge of the Ancients being downloaded into your brain."

She paused and looked at me. "We decided to combine the two bloodlines."

"Combine the…how?" asked Jack.

"Well, we tried to combine the DNA by cloning, but that failed miserably."

"Wait a minute." interrupted Sam. "Exactly how long were we on your ship?"

"Three of your years."

"But, that's impossible. We were only gone a few days." exclaimed Jack.

"We were trapped in another galaxy with no way to get back at the time. The two of you became very close."

"But, how did…oh…" understanding dawning on Jack's face.

Sam blushed. "So, you…we…conceived a child….together?"

"That is correct. After the child was sixteen of your months old, we sent you back to only a few days after your rescue. You tried to fight us, but we needed to begin testing the child's abilities as soon as possible. That could not be done with the both of you there. We modified your memories to match the timeframe. We believed that we would be able to provide for the child. Unfortunately, we were mistaken."

"So, let me get this straight…" said Jack angrily. "You rescued us, we fell in love, conceived a child, had the child, loved the child, and then you took her away from us? You took her away from those who would love her; keep her safe?" His grip on my hand tightened to where it was almost painful.

I must have made some noise because he turned to look at me. I saw pain and anger in his eyes before he jerked his hand away from mine and stood. I _knew_ it was directed at me. I pulled the blanket around myself and tried to hide. I think Sam noticed the pain in my eyes because she pulled me closer to her. But, the damage had already been done. I let the tears fall. I didn't care anymore. He was angry at me…he hated me.

_Why does this stuff always happen to me?_

Jack turned to Heimdall. "Why?"

"Because this child will help to defeat the Goa'uld. She is genetically enhanced with abilities beyond our own and beyond that of the Goa'uld."

"She's just a child!" yelled an angry Jack as he stood. "Do you know what she's been through? Do you?"

"Unfortunately, after we sent you back, we were unable to care for the child."

Jack interrupted angrily, "The _child_ has a name. Her name is…"

Heimdall interrupted. "Jessica."

Jack's jaw dropped. "How did you know that?"

"Major Carter named your daughter the day she was born. Jessica Caitlin O'Neill…Jessie is her nickname…which you gave her O'Neill." He looked at Jack and Sam. "After we sent you back, we were unable to care for her. We sent her back, meaning to send her back to the exact point we did you. We were going to return your memories of her and return her to you. However, a solar flare from your sun caused our ship to go back in time, eight years, instead of three. Now, what you do with her knowledge and her power is up to you."

"This is bullshit. You fucked up and we're left to pick up the pieces, huh?" said a still angry Jack. I guess he'd forgotten I was still there because I think that's the only reason for what he said next. "We're expected to pay for your mistakes."

I gasped out loud and General Hammond stood up, "Colonel O'Neill!"

He blinked and remembering I was there, turned to me, pain in his eyes. He suddenly realized what he had said. "Oh shit. Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…." he started, reaching his hand out to me.

"Dad," I cried softly and then orbed out.

-

"_Jack's POV"_

"Jessie!" screamed both me and Sam.

Heimdall spoke up, visibly shaken. "We are keeping her confined to this base. It is taking all of my energy. She may be very young, but she is already extremely powerful. We will return your memories to you now." A bright light filled the room and two beams settled on our heads.

We both sagged as we received the memories of Jessie's conception and birth. The love we felt for her and the joy we had by having her with us returned like a flood. I remembered that her first word was 'dad' and that Sam taught her to crawl and I taught her to walk. I remembered feeding her and bathing her. _God! How could I forget this? _I grabbed Sam by the hand and we headed for the door. "Come on. We've got to find her."

I heard Heimdall say, "I do apologize for this. I hope it is resolved to your satisfaction." He transported out.

"General Hammond. Should we not follow O'Neill and Major Carter?" Teal'c voice carried.

"No, Teal'c. Give the three of them some time alone. God only knows what is going to happen now."

-

_(My Quarters)_

"_My POV"_

Jack threw the doors to Sam's quarters open. "Jessie!" he yelled, running into the room, Sam not far behind.

I huddled on my bed sobbing and tried to orb. "Leave me alone! Why can't I orb outta here?" I cried and hit the wall with my elbow.

Jack grabbed me by the arm to keep me from hurting myself and turned me to face him. "Stop it! You're hurting yourself!" he said.

"I don't care! Let me go!" I screamed at him and banged my head against the wall.

"No! I'm never letting you go! Stop it!" He pulled me into a fierce embrace, as I struggled against him.

"Fuck you!" I screamed.

"Heimdall is keeping you from orbing out. He's keeping you here…where you belong. You belong here baby…with us." said Sam.

I just shook my head, letting the tears fall, sagging against Jack. "You lied to me. Not wanted! Why didn't you just let me die! You don't want me!" I sobbed.

Jack rubbed my back in slow circles, trying to calm me down, even though he was shaking too…they both were. "We do want you…" he said as his voice broke. "We do want you."

"No you don't! I'm a mistake. I shouldn't even be here. You said so yourself." I said accusingly, still struggling against him.

Jack took a shuddering breath. "I'm _so_ sorry I said that, baby. I didn't mean it to come out that way."

I just shut my eyes and shook my head and quit fighting him. He was just too strong. "You don't want me. You don't love me."

He continued. "I do want you…I do love you. The only mistake is that we didn't get a chance to know you…to raise you."

"But, you're mad at me. I saw it in your eyes." I insisted.

He pulled back from me and held me at arm's length. He let go of my arm and brushed away a tear. "No, baby. Not _at _you. _For _you."

I jerked out of Jack's grip and leaned against the wall, closing my eyes against the unbearable pain and emptiness building inside. I could feel the walls going back up. I wasn't going to be hurt…I wouldn't let them hurt me. But, I couldn't say anything. I sat there with my one knee tucked under my chin.

"We're angry _for_ you, baby." said Sam, sitting on the bed.

Leaning up against the wall, Jack ran his fingers through his hair before answering. "I'm angry because you went through hell…a hell you didn't have to go through. I'm angry because you were taken from me…from us."

Sam put her arm around my shoulders and hugged me. I don't know why I didn't move away from her. I just couldn't. Even through the pain I felt safe in Sam's arms. "I'm angry because all of the pain you've gone through could've been avoided. I didn't get to sing to you…to hold you…watch you grow up." I felt the tears from her eyes drop onto my hair.

Jack turned his face away from me. "I lost my son – your brother – Charlie a few years ago. I never thought anything could hurt that much." He turned to me with tears in his eyes, utter desolation in his eyes. "But, this does. _This _does" He reached for me, but I jerked away because of the pain in my chest and I was finding it really hard to breathe.

He let his hand drop and he looked down, shaking with barely contained emotions. "I'm so sorry. Please baby. Please don't hate me. Jessie, please." he begged.

I couldn't breathe. I sat there for a few moments. I really didn't know what to do. But, he _was _my father…I think we'd all known that the whole time. We'd _felt _the connection. That helped me make my decision. I put my hand on Jack's chin, turning his face to mine. "I don't hate you. I love you…dad," I said softly.

The dam broke and he crushed me in his arms. He sobbed uncontrollably. "I love you, baby." He held me as we both cried and then he reached for Sam. She put her arms around both of us. Even through my fevered haze, I could feel the walls coming down again. I was scared, but I was safe.


	8. Healing

After several months, they finally let me out of Cheyenne Mountain. Even though I'd gotten all the casts off, dad carried me outside the day we left. They'd set up rooms at both of their houses for me. Daniel drove with Teal'c in the front, while me, mom, and dad sat in the back seat of the truck. It was time for lunch and Daniel suggested _McDonalds_.

I knew about _McDonalds_, but I'd never been there. _Their _kids always taunted me that they ate at _McDonalds _but I couldn't. I let myself relax as dad gave me a piggy back ride into the restaurant. People stared. I guess it was because of the piggy back ride.

Dad ordered me a happy meal with a cheeseburger. He ended up playing with the toy. After eating oatmeal morning, noon, and night, for years, I was anxious. They watched closely as I ate everything.

After we ate, they took me to the mall. They wanted me to pick out some toys to take home. _Home_. Anyway, after that meal, I was getting sleepy. Even though I'd eaten regularly at the base, I still got sleepy after eating. I was warm and comfortable in mom's arms, so I lay down on the seat and put my head in her lap. Dad pulled my legs up on his. I was in that space between waking and sleeping.

I heard Uncle Danny say "We're here."

Dad chuckled. "Take us to Sam's house Daniel. She's asleep. We'll do this later."

"Ooook."

The last thing I remembered was dad carrying me inside and tucking me into bed. I think Daniel and Teal'c stayed for a while. But, when I woke up they were gone. Mom and dad were sitting on the couch, cuddling when I hobbled downstairs. It's not that easy when one leg isn't strong enough to hold you up anymore.

"Hey." I said sleepily. It was just another one of dad's phrases I'd picked up.

"Hey angel. C'mere." said mom.

I snuggled on the couch between them and mom wrapped her arms around me. "How'd ya sleep?"

"Ok I guess. What time is it?"

"3:00." said dad.

"Why'd you let me sleep so long?"

"You needed it. The longer you sleep, the stronger you'll get." he said.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just feel like I'm sleeping all the time."

"Nah, you're just tired of the therapy and workouts Janet is putting you through."

"I know."

"Hey guess what?" said mom.

"What?"

"Your dad decided that we're having a barbeque on the 4th and Daniel and Teal'c are going to pop fireworks. A kind of 'welcome home' for you."

I sat up and mom let me go. I didn't say anything. I think they realized something was up. Maybe they were expecting me to be excited? Probably. I dunno.

"Baby, what's wrong?" said dad, putting his arm around me. I laid my head on his shoulder and toyed with my short's string.

"I've never seen fireworks. They always kept me locked in the basement." I whispered.

"Well, that's never gonna happen again, sunshine."

"I know, but I wish I could forget it all."

"Baby, it _might_ help if you talked about it…"

"Nope. Not gonna happen." I said standing up.

"Baby…"

"Please dad. I just want to forget it" I begged.

He grabbed my wrist gently and pulled me back down on the couch. "We'll help you. I promise."

They'd already decided that I would spend one week at mom's house and one week at dad's. When I was at dad's house, mom would stay with us. When I was at mom's house, dad would stay with us. That way we could all be together and no one would find out about them. I was finally safe and beginning to find happiness. I'd finally found a home…well, two homes, but to me, they were still one.

When mom and dad were off-world I would stay with Janet and Cassie. After ten years of being scared and alone, I had a family and friends. But, most of all…most important…I was safe.

_Then I almost lost it again._

-

It was the 4th of July and SG-1 was on stand down for a week, so they were all there. Janet and General Hammond were there also. We were going to have fun. I'd never seen fireworks. Dad had planned on something big for my first 4th of July with them…with my family. Woohoo!

We had finished eating. Daniel and Teal'c were getting ready to start the fireworks. I was playing with Cassie's dog. Janet had brought him over because Cassie was spending the holiday with friends.

"Jessie, quit chasing that damn dog and come watch!" yelled dad over the music. ZZ Top's _Tush _was playing on the stereo. I liked rock. He liked classical and jazz. We both liked ZZ Top. I ran over to him and he picked me up, giggling, over his shoulder. He sat down on a blanket and pulled me into his lap. He kissed me on the side of the head and motioned for mom to join us. She sat down beside us and leaned over and kissed my cheek.

Teal'c started the first fireworks and I was in awe. I'd never seen anything so beautiful. I leaned forward and sat there with my mouth open. Mom nudged dad and nodded towards me. He grinned, put his hand under my chin and closed my mouth. Wrapping his arms around me, he snuggled against me and said "So, whatcha think?"

I smiled and leaned back against him. "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"Well, I can think of one…no…two things that are _much…much _more beautiful." said dad.

"What?" I asked, not taking my eyes from the fireworks in the night sky.

_How could anything be prettier than this?_

"You and your mom." he whispered, kissing the back of my head. I giggled and he said "Hey, now. You know the rules. No giggling." I giggled again and he tickled me.

"Dad, quit it!" I complained, but they knew it didn't really bother me that much.

The doorbell rang. "Daniel, can you get that?" asked mom.

"Sure."

Dad smiled and put his arm around mom's waist. She leaned into his embrace. I smiled inwardly.

Daniel walked up. "Ummm…Jack? This guy says he knows Jessie."

"Hop up, sweetheart." he said.

I stood and turned around as dad and mom stood. I froze. It was _him_. He'd found me.

_Damn it. I knew it would happen. I tried to tell them_.

"There you are. We've been looking for you for months. Your mother is worried sick."

I started backing away from _him _and dad. "No, no, no, no, no."

Dad reached for my arm and pulled me to his back. Holding tightly, he waited until I put my arms around his waist and buried my head against his back shaking violently. All he said was, "Jessie?"

"It's him." I whispered. Mom stepped up and wrapped her arms around me from behind. She buried her head in my hair.

They didn't have to ask 'who'. They all knew exactly who I was talking about.

_(Go inside. Tell Janet to call the police) _- dad

_(I'm scared, mama)_ I knew they could hear the fear in my thoughts.

_(You're safe. I'm not going to let him hurt you again) _- mom

_(Promise?)_

_(We promise. Now go inside and tell Janet to call the police) _- dad

_(Ok)_

Mom had heard the conversation, so she let me go. I shivered as I walked past _him_. _He_ tried to grab me, but I orbed into the house.

-

"_Jack's POV"_

"What the hell was that?" _he_ shouted.

I walked towards him. "Sit down, Mr. Evans. The police are on their way."

"What? Who are you people and how do you know my name?" he asked, backing away. He ended up backing into Teal'c, who grabbed his arms in a vice-like grip. He looked up at Teal'c he grinned maliciously and forced him into a chair.

I walked over to him. "I promised Jessie that I would kill the man who beat and raped her." I said, advancing slowly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." he insisted struggling against Teal'c.

"Don't play dumb, asshole. Jessie told us everything." I said as I backhanded the man. General Hammond and Sam grabbed me by the arms.

"Jack!" exclaimed Sam.

"Who are you people?" he repeated, spitting out blood.

"Colonel Jack O'Neill, United States Air Force. Two l's. I'm her father."

He laughed bitterly. "I don't think so. I've got a piece of paper that states _I'm_ her father." He was getting braver because General Hammond and Sam were holding on to my arms.

"You may have a piece of paper, but I have something more important. Something that will stand up in _any_ court of law."

"Really? And what would that be?"

"Blood." I grinned evilly at the man. "I'm her _biological_ father." They let go of me.

"That's not possible! They looked. She doesn't have any family!"

"Wrong," said Sam stepping forward, taking my hand in hers. "He _is_ her father." I squeezed her hand, intertwining my fingers with hers. "And _I_ am her mother."

We could hear the sirens were getting closer. Then they stopped in front of the house. "Danny, go let the nice policemen in please." I said politely.

"Sure Jack." He went to the front door and let them in. They followed him through the house, into the backyard. "Is there a problem here?" said one of the cops.

I recognized him immediately. Pete Shanahan. Idiot extraordinaire. This cop had asked Sam out on several occasions, but didn't know about Jessie or me. Besides, it wasn't anybody's business but ours.

Pete nodded at Sam and smiled. "Sam, it's good to see you. What's going on?" Then he saw our hands intertwined. His eyes went wide.

I spoke up. "Detective Shanahan. We - Sam and I - want this man arrested."

"For what reason?" Pete asked, still trying to get past the sight of us holding hands. Hell, if it weren't so serious, I would have enjoyed this.

Sam cleared her throat and said, "For rape."

"Who did he…?"

"Our daughter, Jessie." she said.

"Our…what?" he asked incredulously.

"Daughter. Mine and Jack's."

"Huh?"

_Very bright don't you think?_

"How did you…"

"Pete?" asked his partner.

Pete shook his head, trying to clear it. "Do you have proof that he raped her?"

I was getting pissed. "Her diary." I turned to Fraiser. "Go tell Jessie that we need her diary."

We stood there in silence as she ran up the stairs. Then Pete asked, "How old is the rape victim?" He sounded…I dunno…pissed maybe?

Hearing it put like that, Sam burst into tears. Pete took a step towards her as I pulled her into an embrace. Pete looked daggers at me.

"C'mere baby." I said, pulling her into my arms and burying my head in her shoulder. I held her a few minutes.

"Dad?"

We all looked up as Janet led Jessie down the stairs slowly by her hand…she had her diary in the other hand. She was shaking with fear, trying to stay as far away from _him_ as she could. "C'mere baby." I said, holding my hand out. I still hadn't released Sam. We were getting some strange looks from General Hammond. But, we were off duty and I was trying to make a point…not just to Pete, but to everyone. Sam was mine. Jessie was mine. I would do _whatever_ I had to do in order to protect them.

She let go of Janet's hand and ran to us, in tears. We gathered her, sobbing, in our arms. I took the diary from her and handed it to Pete. "Everything is in there."

"How old is the victim?" he repeated.

"She has a name Detective. Her name is Jessie O'Neill. She's ten years old."

_I can be pissed if I want. I'm her father…it's allowed._

"Well, Colonel, do you have any _physical_ evidence that this man raped her?" he said in a smart-ass voice.

Fraiser stepped forward before I could say, or do, anything. "I do."

"And you are?" he asked snidely.

"Dr. Janet Fraiser. I examined Jessie five months ago and during the examination, I discovered she'd been raped. The report is on file with the Colorado Springs PD. The results are back at my lab."

Jessie's head jerked up at this.

_Uh oh. Not a good sign._

She jerked away from us. "What?" she asked backing away from us. "How…how could you? You didn't tell me that."

She ran up the stairs crying and then into the house. Pete smirked. "Typical." I really had to restrain myself from beating the shit out of him. "I'll need those results for DNA analysis." Oh yeah…I was going to beat the shit out of him for just being there.

_Once again, I'm her father, I can be pissed._

"You'll have them in the morning."

Pete nodded to his partner who handcuffed Mr. Evans, read him his rights, and led him to the car. Pete turned to Sam. "Sam, I'd like to talk to you…alone." He looked at me and grinned maliciously. I had the feeling he was going to get quite a shock.

I looked at Sam, who rolled her eyes. She leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. "It's ok." she whispered. "Go check on _our _daughter. I'll be up in a minute."

"You're sure about this?"

"Yeah. It's time I put him in his place."

To everyone's surprise, I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. I'd never done this in front of anyone except Jessie. She parted her lips and I deepened the kiss. We held the kiss for several seconds. We both groaned as my lips left hers. I put my forehead against hers, both of us breathing heavily. After a few seconds, I let her go and kissed her forehead.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too." she whispered back.

I then turned and gave Pete a smug look as I sauntered into the house.

_I wish I were a fly on the wall so I could see this._

-

"_Sam's POV"_

Pete growled and turned to me. "Why?"

"Why what?" I asked, trying to clear my thoughts. Jack had thoroughly muddled my mind with that short, but powerful kiss. _Wow. Damn._ I shook my head trying to clear it.

"Why him?" he asked angrily.

"Why not?" I said. "We have a daughter together. Besides, my relationship with Jack O'Neill is none of your business."

"Sam, I've been trying to get you to go out with me for six months. You don't return my calls. Don't answer the door when I come by. And not once…not once did you mention having a daughter…a daughter with _him_. Your brother never mentioned her either" he said distastefully.

"Because that's none of your business, _Detective_."

"But…" Pete began.

"Sam!" Daniel came running down the stairs. "Sam, come quick! Janet, you too."

"What's wrong, Daniel?"

"It's Jessie. She's hurt."

I started to run past Pete and he grabbed my arm. "We're not through here," he growled.

Jerking out of his grip, I slapped him hard. "Yes, Detective, we are." Turning to Daniel, I asked, "Daniel, can you show him out please."

I ran in the house, the panic inside building. They were gathered in the bathroom, so I ran in there. I saw Jessie lying on the floor in Jack's arms with only a towel wrapped around her. Her body was bright red, almost blistered. He held her as tightly as he could as she sobbed uncontrollably.

I fell to my knees beside them and put my hand on Jack's shoulder. "My God! Jack, what happened?"

"When I came in to check on her, she was in the shower…only hot water. She kept saying, 'I can't get clean. I can't get it off.' I turned off the hot water and turned on the cold as quick as I could. But…" His words fell off as he looked at me helplessly.

Janet came forward. "You did the right thing, Jack." She turned to me. "Do you have any burn cream?" I only pointed to the medicine cabinet.

Janet knelt beside her, gently drying what she could with a towel. "Jack, hold her up."

He moved her as gently as he could and she whimpered in pain and Jack choked back a sob. "Shh baby," he said, kissing her forehead. "I know it hurts." He nodded to Janet. "Do what you gotta do."

Jack held her gently, but firmly as I helped Janet to spread the cooling salve. She'd stopped whimpering. When we finished, he picked her up and took her to her bedroom. He turned his back as Janet and I put her in some dry clothes. She didn't make a sound even though it must have hurt like hell.

We laid her on the bed and gathered around. The phone rang. General Hammond went to answer it. She didn't even move. "She may be going into shock, Jack."

He sat down on the bed and put his hand on her head. "Come on, baby. Come back to us. Come back to me. Please."

General Hammond walked in. "That was Detective Shanahan. That…_man_…is dead. He tried to escape and they were forced to shoot him."

"Good. I only wish I could've done it myself." said Jack bitterly. "Did you hear that baby? He's dead. He can't hurt you anymore." Still no response, only shivers. "Please baby. Come back to me" he begged, his voice breaking.

"Jack, I think she's going into shock." I said, trying to fight the overwhelming fear building inside.

-

"_My POV"_

"No." I whispered, causing every one to jump. Janet moved toward the bed to check my red skin. After letting her, I spoke up. They wanted to know everything…well, I was gonna tell them. If they didn't want me…at this point I really didn't care.

"It was the day I turned seven. That's when it happened the first time. I had gotten into some trouble a couple of weeks before and they sent me to the basement without anything to eat. But, that was normal anyway."

"Jessie…" dad began, but I talked over him.

"I orbed into the kitchen. They'd locked the fridge, but I knew what was in there. I orbed out some cheese and I heard someone behind me. I knew I was caught."

"For the first couple of weeks, it was small things…food, toys for _their_ kids, beer. Things like that. I didn't think I was hurting anybody. I just wanted to be wanted…wanted to be part of the family. They started treating me better. They actually gave me _real _food instead of scraps. I finally felt like I belonged."

I took a deep breath. "Then things changed. He wanted more…bigger things. Jewelry for her; bigger toys for them; a drawer full of money. I told him 'no'." I sat up in bed. "That night…when I told him I wouldn't do it anymore…he got drunk."

I looked at dad and his eyes were shut, tears streaming silently down his face; his jaw and fists were tightly clenched. When I stopped speaking he opened his eyes. The look of pain was so raw I had to look away. I looked at mom and saw the same expression. Nowhere to look, so I looked at the blanket.

"He came into my room that night. He handed me a sheet of paper with four things listed: hands, belt, whip, or wrench. He told me to choose."

I laughed bitterly. "I thought I was playing it safe by choosing his hands." I took a deep breath. "God!" I screamed.

My outburst caused everyone to jump and dad inched closer, trying to get me to stop talking. Mom put her hand on his shoulder and, when he looked at her, she shook her head. "Let her talk."

He grasped her hand in his and kissed her palm. He laid his cheek against her hand as I continued.

"He took my clothes away…then he put his…he put…he put his…" I stopped and took a deep, shaky breath. Dad let his tears fall silently down his face.

"After that, I never chose his hands again. After that night, I always chose the wrench. Every time. For three fucking years, I chose the wrench. But, every once in a while…he said it was to make sure I knew my place."

Dad reached for me again. "Jessie…" he began.

"Don't." I whispered, backing up on the bed. "Don't fuckin' touch me." I had a mouth on me...a bad mouth for a ten year old. He dropped his hand. I couldn't stand seeing the pain in his eyes. Getting out of bed, I walked to the window.

"That last night was the worst. I refused to do any more stealing for them. He didn't give me a choice. He used all four…_all _four."

Mom started to cry. I don't know if it was my words. Maybe it was voice…empty. No emotion at all. Maybe it was both. It was either keep empty or go hysterical. Not gonna do that.

"The last thing I remember is _her_ coming into my room and telling me it was my fault. Everything was my fault for disobeying him. I knew then that I had to get out. I knew then that if I didn't, he would kill me."

"I waited a couple of days. I thought I could get stronger and orb out. When I was, I did." I looked out the window. "I'd been dreaming about the stargate for about three weeks. I knew it was coming. I knew I'd be safe there. I knew exactly where I was going. I knew how to get there. I didn't know how long I was going to last, but I knew that I was _not_ going to die in that house."

"I passed out after orbing." I watched their reflections as mom and dad walked towards me. "When you found me, I'd been there for two days. When I was awake I wanted to die. When I was asleep, I wanted to die. That's all I wanted…to die."

I stopped talking and turned to face them.

General Hammond stepped forward. "Why did you choose the wrench?" he asked.

"What?" I asked, never taking my eyes from dad and mom.

"You said you always chose the wrench. Why?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Why not?"

"What were you thinking every time you chose the wrench?"

"Doesn't matter."

"I'm just asking."

"Every time I chose the wrench, I thought 'fuck him.' He couldn't do anything worse to me. So, fuck him."

Dad and mom stepped toward me. "It wasn't your fault, Jessie." said dad.

I nodded. "I know Jack." I said calmly. They noticed I didn't call him dad. _He _noticed and flinched, pain strong in his eyes.

They both reached for me. "It wasn't your fault, Jessie." said mom.

I backed up. "I know that, Sam." I'd quit calling them mom and dad. Distancing techniques work wonders.

They both put one hand on each shoulder. "Baby, it wasn't your fault."

I threw them off and backed up. "Don't. Don't do this."

At the same time, they said, "It wasn't your fault."

I held my hands up and backed up against the wall, the tears coming down now. "Don't fuck with me. Please, mom…dad. Not you two…please." I was pleading with them, but I didn't care.

Dad stepped up again. "It wasn't your fault, sweetheart."

I fell to my knees, put my head in my hands, and broke down. "Oh, God! Why did he do this to me? What did I do wrong?" I screamed.

I started banging my head against the wall, trying to get rid of the memories. Mom and dad gathered me into their arms and both whispered, "You're safe. It's going to alright."

"What did I do?" I screamed again.

"You didn't do anything, baby. It wasn't you." said dad.

"Yes, it was. It _was_ my fault. If I didn't have these damned powers, none of this would've happened." I cried.

"If Thor hadn't taken you from us, none of this would've happened." said mom through her sobs, holding as tight as she could without hurting me.

I tensed up. "Shit. Not again." I cried before...

"_It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone  
Something has been taken from deep inside of me  
A secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see  
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away  
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played  
If I could change I would take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
I would take all my shame to the grave  
It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone  
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past  
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have  
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back  
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past  
If I could change I would take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
I would take all my shame to the grave  
Just washing it aside  
All of the helplessness inside  
Pretending I don't feel misplaced  
It's so much simpler than change  
It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone"_

I finished the song to the shocked looks of all there. I sobbed violently. "Damn it! Why?"

They rocked and soothed me for what seemed like hours. I cried myself to sleep. When I was finally calm enough and the sobs wracking my body had slowed to small tremors, dad picked me up and laid me on the bed.

"I'll keep you safe baby…I promise," dad whispered, kissing me on the forehead.

"We promise," said mom.

Janet motioned for everyone to leave, but dad and mom refused to leave.

"Nope," said mom and dad both.

"Ok…ok." said Janet, as she ushered everyone else out of the room. She waited until mom and dad were dressed for bed before she left. She didn't want to leave me alone, just in case I woke up. The last thing she saw before closing the door was dad taking me in his arms and mom putting her arms around me.

-

"_Janet's POV"_

General Hammond stopped at the bottom of the stairs. "What happens now, Dr. Fraiser?"

"Now? She starts to heal."

"What was that song?" asked General Hammond.

"I don't know" I said.

Daniel spoke up. "She said sometimes a memory will trigger a song and she can't stop it."

"Damn." was all I could say.

The four of us stood there talking for several minutes about the night's events before I said, "I'm going to check on her one more time before I leave."

"We'll wait for you here, Doc."

I walked back up the stairs and opened the door. I stepped back to the top of the stairs. "General." I motioned for them to come up. Thinking something was wrong, they ran up the stairs. I put my finger to my lips. "Look." I whispered.

We looked in the room and, for the first time in hours, we all smiled. Jessie was curled on her side, her small body being held protectively by Sam, fists held tightly against her chest. Jack was in front with his own arms around both of them.

"Well, I'll be a space monkey. That would be the perfect blackmail picture." whispered Daniel, grinning.

We all laughed softly, but stopped as Jessie twitched and cried out in her sleep. "No…don't! Don't!"

Jack's hand smoothed Jessie's hair. He kissed her on the forehead. "Shh…baby…you're safe. Daddy's here."

Sam's hand rubbed Jessie's back. "Shh…mama's here."

After several minutes, she finally calmed down. They continued stroking her head and back until she fell silent. Then Jack's hand automatically found Sam's and they intertwined their fingers.

"Would you look at that?" said Daniel with a grin.

I turned to General Hammond. "Isn't there something you can do for them?"

"Like what?" he asked.

I threw my hands up in the air. "I don't know! Talk to the President for them. Ask him to clear the way for them to be a real family. All three of them. Together."

"There's a lot to be considered, Doctor. The safety of their team for one."

Teal'c spoke up. "General Hammond. I, for one, would not mind them being together. After all, is it not true that Jessie will be accompanying us on certain missions?"

"If I can get the clearance, eventually...even though she's only ten. But…"

I broke in. "No 'buts' General. Those two people deserve to have some semblance of a normal life. They've got a child together for Christ's sake. Think about that child lying between two people who love her and who would give their lives for her…and for each other."

"I know." said General Hammond rubbing his head. He nodded his head. "I'll see what I can do."

_Easier To Run – Linkin Park_


	9. Pissed Off

"_My POV"_

When I awoke the next morning, my skin was tight which made movement almost painful. But, that was to be expected. After all, last night, I'd tried to boil myself. Stupid idea, I know. But, I wasn't exactly thinking logically at the time.

I was still sandwiched between mom and dad, who were both asleep. I wanted to lie there forever, but the insistent pull of my full bladder made me have to get up. I tried to get out of bed quietly so I wouldn't wake them. I knew they'd woken up and talked after the others left. I knew they talked about me and what  
would happen now.

I smiled and walked into the bathroom. Talk about feeling better. Now that I was moving, I wasn't so stiff. I thought about making breakfast, but I needed to brush my teeth before I did anything. Very nasty taste in my mouth. I heard movement in the other room. I knew they were awake. I think they both realized I wasn't there at the same time.

They both yelled, "Jessie!"

I couldn't say anything. Not with a mouth full of toothpaste. I was still too sleepy to think to them where I was. I heard them get out of the bed and run through the house. I banged on the door to let them know where I was. They heard me and came running.

"What the hell are you doing? Why didn't you answer me?" dad yelled. I flinched and backed up against the sink. I could tell he was worried…hysterically worried.

Mom put her hand on his arm, calming him. "Easy Jack. She's ok."

I turned my back on them and rinsed my mouth. When I turned around, I whispered "I just wanted..."

Dad held his arms out to me. "I'm sorry. C'mere baby."

I went to them. "I just wanted to brush my teeth."

"I'm sorry baby." said dad as he stroked my back. "You just scared me. I thought after last night…" he let the sentence trail off as his voice broke.

I tensed and backed up and he let me go. "I know what you thought," I said empty…good for me. No emotion at all.

Mom tried to break the tension. "You hungry angel?"

"Not anymore," I said, keeping all emotion out of my voice. I pushed past them into my room. I slammed the door. I decided to go for a run. I needed to think…to clear my head. I put on a pair of jogging shorts and a tank top. I was taping my ankles when the door opened. Looking up, I saw them standing there. I didn't say a word. I just kept taping my ankles and then put on my shoes. They just stood there watching me.

"What?" I asked, standing up.

"Whatcha doin?" asked dad flippantly. Not in the mood for that.

"Going for a run," I said plainly, trying to step around him.

"I could use some exercise. I'll go with you," said mom, heading for their room.

Dad stood there for a few more moments just staring at me. I know he wanted to say something about what had just happened. I just stared at him. Instead he said, "We'll both go with you," Then, he, too turned at went to their room to change.

I sighed deeply, just wanting to be alone. I needed sometime to think. But, I knew they wouldn't let me. At least not for a while; not after the stunt I'd pulled last night. But, like I said, I wasn't exactly thinking logically.

I went downstairs and began to stretch while I was waiting for them. I had started running when I was ten. When I wasn't locked in the basement, I would run just to stay away from them. They didn't mind. They always locked the basement door when I returned. I always returned. Hell, they knew I didn't have any other place to go.

Before the last beating, I was up to six miles a day: three in the morning and three at night. I know it was a lot for a ten year old, but I was active. I couldn't sit still. I was so engrossed in limbering up that I didn't notice mom and dad standing at the top of the stairs, silently watching me. I bent over backwards and heard a gasp.

I straightened and looked at them. "You ready?"

They only nodded and came downstairs. "I have never seen someone stretch like that." said dad, grinning.

I shrugged my shoulders. "It helps to loosen my back when I run."

Mom smiled at me. "How long have you been running?"

I shrugged my shoulders, not really sure. "A while."

"How far do you run?"

"Three miles in the morning. Three at night. Kept me out of the basement."

Dad flinched and then whistled. "Six miles? Damn."

"Whoa. That's more than you, Jack…and she's only ten." said mom laughing.

He picked her up and swung her around. "That may be so. But, we're not doing five miles this morning." He kissed her then sat her down and pointed at me. "You'll be lucky if I let you do a mile today."

"But, dad! Why? I can do _way_ more than a mile." I was back to mom and dad. Hell, I couldn't tell you why, but it felt weird calling them 'Jack' and 'Sam' again. Distancing techniques have their flaws.

"Because, Sunshine," he pulled me close to them "you were sort of in-shape then. It's going to take some time before you get your full strength back. I'm not taking any chances with you getting hurt again."

"Oh alright." I said giving up and backing towards the door. "But, there's only one problem with that."

Dad let mom go. "And what would that be?" he said, a cocky look on his face.

"You'll have to catch me to stop me." I laughed, opening the door and running out.

_ Wham _

It felt like I'd hit a brick wall. In fact, I'd run into Pete Shanahan. He grabbed both arms in a tight grip.

"Defective Shanahan, what can we do for you?" said dad.

_Defective…I like that._

Pete tightened his grip on my arm. "Ow! Let me go asshole!"

Dad reached over and easily broke Pete's grip on me. He pulled me between his back and mom. "What do you want, Detective?" he asked, anger easily heard in his voice.

"I need to speak to Samantha."

"Pete, I told you last night that there could never be anything between us. What do you want?" asked mom.

He waved his hand, dismissing her words. "Oh, I know what you said. But, last night, you were worried about that kid that you said was yours. I know you didn't mean it."

"Oh, I meant it. I could never be with you."

"Why not?" asked Pete.

"Because I love Jack and _our_ daughter."

Dad was beginning to lose his patience. "Look, we're running late, so if you don't mind…"

Pete ignored dad. "I killed a man for you last night and this is how you thank me?"

Dad turned to us. "Sam, you and Jessie get in the truck," he said tossing the keys to mom.

"Come on, angel," she said, taking me by the hand.

Pete blocked our way and pulled a gun. "Don't move. I want everybody inside, now," he said, waving the gun towards the house. Dad eased over beside us.

I'd had it. I was tired of people pushing me around. It was my turn to push back…and boy was I gonna push hard.

I turned to dad. _(Mom? Dad?)_

They both looked at me. (_Yeah, baby)_

I took a deep breath. (_Duck)_

Dad threw himself to the ground, taking mom with him. I threw my arm out and the gun flew out of Pete's hand.

"What the…?" yelled Pete, reaching for me.

I threw my hand out again and he flew backwards, landing with a thud on the grass. I walked over to him as he tried to sit up. I held my hand out. I stared at it. My right hand had some sort of glowing ball thingy in it.

_This is new._

I knew I could kill him with it. I heard mom and dad both gasp. I knew they had seen the glowing ball thingy. Dad was helping her stand.

"Detective," I said, keeping my voice empty.

He gasped for air. "What are you?" he hissed.

Dad and mom walked over to us. Dad put his arm around me as I said, "Look at me, detective," He did. He had no choice. "Don't fuck with my family? Do you understand me?"

I held up hand with the still-glowing ball thingy. I let him see it. I held it about and inch from his chest and watched fear and realization set in. He knew I could kill him if I wanted. I tossed it in the air, caught it, and let the ball shrink and then fade away.

"What are you?" he asked again.

"She's something _very _special…and one of a kind," said dad.

We started to walk away, but dad stopped. Turning to Pete, he said "Detective, to echo my daughter's words -" he looked at me and grinned. "- and we're _still_ going to have to talk about that language thing – 'don't fuck with my family'."

Dad opened the door for us. I slid into the seat between him and mom. We drove away as Pete stood up. None of us noticed the van parked down the street videotaping everything.


	10. Beginning of the End

"Dad, where are we going?" I asked.

"Cheyenne Mountain."

I relaxed slightly, but something was bothering me. I'd felt the power in my hand…in my mind. I knew I could've killed him with that…whatever it was. That made me shiver.

Dad broke in on my thoughts. "Penny for your thoughts," he said.

"I was just thinking about what I could've done."

"What was that glowing thing?" mom asked. "That was new, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," I said quietly.

Dad put his arm across my shoulders. "Hey, now. That was cool."

"I could've killed him."

"Huh?"

I took a deep shuddering breath. "I could've killed him. I could've killed him with that glowing ball thingy. Don't ask me how I know…I just know. I could feel it," The tears started to fall.

He kissed me on the temple and said "But, you didn't. You stopped yourself."

I really started to cry. "I don't wanna hurt anybody. I just saw him threatening you and mom and I lost it. I wasn't going to let him hurt you. I'm tired of being pushed around."

"We know, baby. You wouldn't be you if you didn't feel that way." said mom.

"Hell, if you hadn't done that, I was going to kill him anyway." said dad. "Or at least knock him around a little."

I wiped at the tears making tracks down my face and managed to giggle a little.

"Hey now. No giggling. You know that." said dad as he squeezed my shoulder and then put both hands back on the wheel.

I relaxed a little as mom's arm replaced his. She squeezed my shoulder and kissed my temple. I laid my head on her shoulder and let myself relax a little more. We were halfway to the mountain when I realized something…no…I _felt_ something. I turned around and gasped. "No!"

"What's wrong, baby?" asked dad.

"He's right behind us." I said.

Mom turned around. "Shit."

Dad looked in the rearview mirror. "Damn it. I knew I should've knocked him out."

Pete had his siren going and lights flashing. "Keep driving, Jack," said mom.

I started shaking again. I sent out my consciousness to hear what was going on. "Shit."

"What?"

"There's a roadblock ahead. He's trying to make sure we can't escape."

"Sam, contact General Hammond and tell him what's going on."

The day's events were starting to catch up with me…Pete pulling a gun…me losing my temper…I could've killed him. I couldn't stop shaking. Mom picked up her cell phone as dad slid his arm around me again.

"Easy, kiddo. Everything's gonna be alright."

"Dad, I'm scared."

"I know baby. But, I said I'd keep you safe and that's what I'm gonna do." He was silent for a few seconds. "Can you orb things long distance?"

"Yeah I think so."

"Can you orb two zats from the armory at the SGC?"

"I think so."

"Do it."

I shut my eyes and concentrated on the memory of the armory. I'd only been in there a couple of times, but I knew exactly what I was looking for. I concentrated and whispered "Zat." One appeared in my hands. I repeated myself and the other showed up.

"That's my Sunshine." he said proudly. He took one of the zats and hand it to mom who had just hung up her cell phone.

"Jack, General Hammond is sending backup." said Sam.

"How long?"

"Ten minutes."

"Damn it we don't have ten minutes!" he said, slowing the truck down.

"Dad! What're you doing? Don't slow down!" I cried out.

"There's a side road around here. I use it when I go camping." He looked around as Pete caught up with us. "Ah. There it is."

"Hang on." he said, jerking the wheel to the right. Mom grabbed me to keep me steady. We drove about a mile from the main road. We could hear sirens in the distance. Dad grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out of the truck. "Come on, Sam." he yelled as we started to run.

We must've run for a mile before stopping. Dad was right. I wasn't in shape anymore. We rested for a few minutes. I orbed the canteen to us. We each took a sip.

"Come on. We have to keep moving."

"Jack, where are we going?" mom asked, helping me up.

"There's a cave about a half mile from here. We can take cover there."

We started running again and mom got her leg caught on a branch. "Shit!" she cried out. We stopped and dad checked her leg. It was a long, jagged gash. Dad helped her stand and we ran/limped on. We found the cave easily. Dad helped mom to sit down on a stump.

"This is your version of camping?" she asked.

"Yeah. I've got a med kit here somewhere. I'll patch up that leg." He turned and rummaged around in a duffle bag that was against the wall. "Jessie, can you eavesdrop on them?" I nodded. "Do it."

I sent out my consciousness. I found Pete and another man, close by. I didn't expect this.

_(They went this way.)_

_(Simmons)_

_(Detective)_

_(Why do you want that kid so badly?)_

_(Experimentation, detective. Simply put experimentation. I want to know what she can do and how she does it. I told O'Neill and Hammond this wasn't over.)_

I cut the connection and started shaking uncontrollably, tears streaming down my face. My fear of most doctors was gone thanks to Janet. But, the fear of being cut opened was still very strong. I bit my knuckle to keep from screaming. I was shaking and rocking back and forth, whimpering softly. Shock? Oh yeah.

Dad was checking on mom's leg. He had his eyes on her. He didn't see my reaction to what I had witnessed. He cleaned her leg and then bandaged it. "That better?"

"Yep," said mom.

He kissed her lightly on the lips. "Good." he said when she smiled and kissed her again.

"Jessie you ok?"

I didn't say anything…still rocking back and forth. They slid toward me. "Angel, what's wrong? We're safe here," said mom, putting her arms around me.

"Jack, I think she's going into shock," as she felt the tremors wracking my small body.

"Shit!" dad hissed. "Baby, look at me. Jessie look at me!" He put his hand on my chin, turning my head towards him. He saw the terror in my wide eyes. "Come on sweetheart! Talk to me," he said pushing my hair back from my face.

I was still biting on my finger…still rocking back and forth, whimpering slightly. He forced my hand down and out of my mouth. I'd bitten it so hard, it was bleeding.

"Shit." he said. "Now, why'd you have to go and do that?" He reached for the med kit. After bandaging my finger, he poured some water on a rag. I watched all of this with a curious detachment. It was as if it wasn't happening to me. He wiped my face with the rag, but the tears were still flowing freely.

"Baby, talk to me. Please," he begged.

I couldn't make a sound. If I opened my mouth, I knew I would start screaming and not be able to stop. I did the only thing I could. I spoke to them with my mind.

_(He's gonna experiment on me)_

"Who? Pete?" whispered mom.

I shook my head. _(No, but Pete's helping him)_

"Helping 'who' baby?" whispered dad, cupping my face and wiping the tears away.

_(Simmons)_

"Simmons," I heard the anger in dad's voice.

I heard a noise…people coming closer. They'd found us.

"Come out, come out wherever you are."

Dad looked at mom. "Simmons," he whispered.

"Come on Jack. I know you're there. Send out the kid and we'll let you and Carter go." He stopped talking. "Well, we'll let you go. The good detective has some unfinished business with Carter." They both laughed.

"Go to hell, Simmons!" yelled dad.

"Jack, Jack, Jack. This is going to go worse for the abomination – as the good detective calls her."

"Fuck you and fuck him," dad yelled again.

"Such language O'Neill! You have five minutes, O'Neill. Make the right choice here and you may live to see tomorrow."

_(Dad) _I'd calmed down and had found that empty place again that kept me sane.

_(Easy baby. We're gonna get you out of here)_

_(I think I can get us out)_

_(How?)_

_(I think I can orb all of us out)_

They looked at me in shock.

"You can do that?" whispered mom.

"Why didn't you say something sooner?" whispered dad.

_(Because I 'm scared dad…and I've only done it twice with more than me. But, yeah, I think I can)_

"That's my girl" dad whispered and wrapped his arms around me, holding me for a few minutes.

We stood together. "Wait," said dad, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Jessie?"

"Hmm?"

"Do me a favor before you orb us to the SGC?"

"Ok."

He took my hands in his. "Do you trust me?" I didn't like how he asked that so I looked away. "Jessie, look at me." I looked in his eyes. "Do you trust me?"

I swallowed. "Yes," I barely whispered. He could see the fear in my eyes.

"I want you to orb us outside, behind Simmons and Shanahan. Can you do that for me?"

I gasped. "But, why? Dad, I just wanna go home. Please," I begged.

He pulled me into his arms and I buried my head in his stomach. "I know baby. And that's where we're going. But, first, I've got some unfinished business with those two assholes out there." He held me at arm's length. "Do you remember my promise the night we found you?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"I'll die before I let them take you."

"Don't say that! I don't want you to die. I don't want anyone to die because of me…especially you or mom." I said. I stood up straight and terrified. "I'll go with him."

"Like hell you will!" whispered dad, furiously.

"Jessie, you're not going anywhere with them," whispered mom just as furiously.

"Mom, if I go with him, he'll let you and mom go."

"Jessie, we're not letting him take you. We're not letting anyone take you from us again." said mom, leaning into us. Dad held both of us for a few minutes.

"Time's up, O'Neill."

"We're coming out." dad yelled.

"Hang on," I whispered.

"What's wrong?" asked dad.

"This," I said and knelt behind mom and put my hand to her leg. They saw the familiar glow as I healed the gash.

"Is that better mom?"

"Much better, baby. Thanks," she said and kissed me as I stood.

"I've been waiting for this day for a long time," said dad.

"Why?"

"I owe Simmons a little payback. He shot me in the back while I was on a mission to rescue your mom…and he tried to take you away from us."

_(Dad, you're not going to kill him are you?)_

_(I was until you said it like that)_

_(Dad, you can't!)_

_(I won't. If you won't let me kill him, can I at least knock him around a little?)_

I giggled. "I guess so."

"That's my Sunshine," he said. "You ready?"

I nodded. "I guess so," I said dejectedly.

"Hey Sunshine," I looked up at him. "I promise."

I took a deep breath and straightened up. "Take my hands." They did. I got a kiss from both of them on both temples.

"When we get out of the cave, I want you to freeze them, ok?"

My courage was weakening. They could tell. They both squeezed my hands. That gave me the courage I needed to do what had to be done. I nodded. I concentrated and orbed us out of the cave.

When we rematerialized, we were behind Simmons and Shanahan. They heard us and turned. I threw my hands up and froze them. They were facing us with wide eyes. They both had guns in their hands, which dad quickly took and tossed to the side. He turned back to us. "Damn."

"What?"

He nodded his head behind us. "Look."

We turned and saw about thirty armed men behind us.

"Simmons's men," said Jack.

I shivered and started to panic. He pulled me close and whispered, "Easy baby. Dad's here. Unfreeze these two only. Can you do that?" I nodded. He let me go and I unfroze them.

"How in the hell did you get past us?" yelled Simmons.

Dad took my hand and pulled me towards him. "My daughter." Then he let my hand go. I slid to mom, who wrapped her arms around me.

"Cut the bullshit, O'Neill. We know who she is. I told you before that this wasn't over."

"Then you know what she can do."

"Not all of it." Simmons leered at me. "But, we will. That I can promise." He took a step toward us.

Dad held up his zat and pointed it at Simmons. Mom pointed hers at Pete. I tried to make the glowing ball thingy come back, but it wouldn't. Too scared I guess.

Dad looked at Simmons, advancing slowly toward him. "I've waited a long time to do this." He pulled his arm back and punched Simmons in the face.

"Dad, the freeze is starting to wear off." I could feel it like a prickling sensation on my skin.

"Ok baby."

"Simmons. Shanahan. I'll say this once…and only one. If either of you come near my family again, I'll kill you. I don't know how, but I will kill you. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal." said Pete.

"Good. Simmons?"

"Yeah, but I will promise you this. I will have her."

"Over my dead body."

"If that's the way it has to be, then so be it."

"Get us out of here, Jessie." he said, taking my hand.

"How are you going to get passed all these guards, Jack?" asked Simmons.

"Hmmm…you already forgot what she can do?" He nodded to me. "Let's go."

I started to orb out as Simmons reached for his gun and fired once.

-

"_Back at the SGC"_

We orbed into General Hammond's office. "What the hell?" he yelled.

They let my hands go. "Simmons tried to kidnap Jessie. Personally, I wanted to kill him, but she wouldn't let me. I think the asshole actually shot at us. But, he missed because my little hero orbed us out."

"Dad?"

He turned around and the grin fell. "Yeah, baby?"

I looked down at the blood spreading across my t-shirt. "He didn't miss."

"No!" dad yelled, running towards us as I collapsed to the floor.


	11. Death

"_Jack's POV"_

General Hammond picked up the phone. "Hammond. I need a medical team to my office stat."

I gathered Jessie into my arms, rocking her slowly. She'd passed out and she was barely breathing…the blood kept spreading…I couldn't stop it. "Hang on baby. Help is coming." I looked at Sam, grief in my eyes. "I promised her that I'd keep her safe," I said, tears streaming down my face.

"I know, Jack." she whispered tearfully, running her fingers through my hair.

The medical team rushed in and had to pry Jessie from my arms. They put her on the gurney and fled with her to the infirmary. Sam and I were close behind.

-

"_Janet's POV"_

I came out and Jack and Sam both stood. "Doc, how is she?"

_How do you tell your best friend that her only child is going to die?_

"Doc?"

I shook my head, unable to speak at first. "I've done all I can. We removed the bullet, but it was tipped with some sort of poison." I looked down. "I'm sorry, Sam…Jack. There's nothing else I can do."

"So what you're telling me is my daughter is going to die," Jack said, unsteadily.

"I'm so sorry, Jack."

"NO!" screamed Jack as he punched the wall and ran down the hall. Sam stood there crying silently. General Hammond looked at me.

"What type of poison, Doctor?"

"I don't know, sir. It's nothing I've ever seen before. I don't think it's from earth."

"Sam, go after Jack. I'm worried about what he will do." General Hammond said.

He waited until Sam was out of earshot before he reached for the phone on the wall. "Contact the Tok'ra. Tell them we have an emergency situation and we need Jacob Carter. Tell them we have a small child that has been poisoned with an off-world substance."

I blinked rapidly. "General?"

"The Tok'ra may be able to heal her. Besides," he took a shuddering breath. "I think it's time that Jacob met his granddaughter."

-

"_Sam's POV"_

_-_

I could hear Jack throwing things. I opened the door. "Jack?"

He was facing the wall, tears of pain running down his face. He turned to face me when I spoke. "I can't hear her in my head anymore, Sam. I keep calling out to her, but she's not answering. I can't go through this again Sam…I can't." he sobbed falling to his knees.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him while we both cried. You really couldn't tell who was holding who. We held each other for a long while.

Jack raised his eyes to mine. I could see the pain in his eyes and knew that I had the same look.

"I promised her, Sam. I promised I would keep her safe." He looked at me with anguish in his eyes. "I failed her."

"No, Jack. You got her back here. You kept her out of Simmons's hands."

_And me out of Pete's._

We held each other and cried for our daughter and for ourselves. Nothing was ever going to be the same again. I would probably lose him because he'd lost another child. We fell into the sleep of the grieving.

Hours later, we awoke to the sound of someone knocking on the door. Jack answered the door. "What?"

"Colonel, you and Major Carter are to report to the infirmary immediately."

He grabbed my hand and we fled like Sokar himself was on our tails. When we got there, Janet was waiting for us. They all noticed we were holding hands.

Jack took a deep breath. "Is she…" he couldn't say the rest, as his voice broke.

"No, sir. Right now she's awake and she's calling for you."

We tore through the infirmary to get to her. "Jessie!"

-

"_My POV"_

"Mama." I said, weakly.

"I'm here, baby."

"Daddy?"

"I'm here, too sunshine."

He took my hand in his. "I'm so sorry, baby. I failed you. I promised to keep you safe and I failed."

I shook my head slightly. "No, dad. You didn't. You kept me safe for the last six months. I wanted to thank you before I…." I couldn't say the word.

They were both crying. "Hey, parents aren't supposed to cry." I tried to joke.

"Says who?" asked dad nearly overcome with emotion.

I tried to sit up. Dad pulled me up and mom got in bed behind me. Dad crawled in on the other side and wrapped his arms around me.

Janet stood there looking helplessly at us when…

_ Off-world Activation _

"Dad."

"Yeah, baby girl?"

"Please take me home. I don't wanna die here."

"You're _not_ going to die." he sobbed.

I took a deep breath, trying to fight the lethargy spreading through me. "Dad, I'm not stupid. I know what this poison is doing to me. I can feel it. I just don't want to die here. I wanna go home. Please take me home"

"Sammy?" asked a new voice.

She looked up. "Dad?" She turned to my dad. "Jack, let me up." He moved me to let her up. She kissed me on the forehead and said, "I'll be right back baby." I watched her climb out of the bed and walk over to the stranger.

"Dad," she sobbed giving him a hug.

"Hey cookie. What's the matter?"

"Dad, you have to save her."

"Save 'who'?" he asked.

She took his and hand led him to my bedside. "Jessie, baby." I opened my eyes. "This is _my_ dad – Jacob Carter. Dad, this is Jessie – my daughter."

"Your what?" The look on his face was funny to me, but I couldn't laugh…couldn't waste the breath.

My breathing was getting more and more shallow. I knew the end was close. "Mama?" I breathed.

She took my hand and pressed it to her face, which was wet with tears. "I'm here angel."

I was fighting to stay awake. I had to tell them something before it was too late. "I love you mama." Mom broke down and laid her head on my shoulder.

The end was closer now. I wasn't so afraid anymore. I just didn't want to die without telling them.

I turned my head to dad. "Daddy."

He buried his head in my other shoulder and shook with emotion. "Don't say it. Don't you dare say goodbye. Don't you leave me."

I weakly lifted my hand and it fell against the back of his head. He reached up and grabbed my hand in his, turned his face to me, eyes closed, and kissed my hand.

"Dad, look at me," I wheezed. Much closer.

He opened his eyes, full of anguish. "Baby, please," he sobbed, pleading with me not to say goodbye.

"It's ok dad. It'll be ok." It was getting harder and harder to breathe. Harder and harder to stay awake.

"Daddy, take care of mama. She's gonna need you," He squeezed my hand but didn't say anything. "Please dad. Promise me. Please."

He reached out and took mom's hand in his. He pulled her to us, her other hand on my head. "I promise," he said brokenly.

I took a shallow breath and closed my eyes. "I"…love…you." I said, taking shallow breaths between each word. Once I had it out, I smiled. I took another breath; let it out, and the heart monitor flatlined.

-

"_Jack's POV"_

"NO!" I screamed. I lay my head down on my daughter's chest and willed it to rise with breath again. It didn't work. I cried like I'd never cried before. Sam held the both of us, crying softly, trying to hold in her pain.

"Jack," said Jacob.

"Go away," I screamed, wanting to die with my child.

"Jack we can heal her."

"She's dead, Jacob. My baby is dead. Just leave us alone."

"The Nox can heal her, Jack."

Nothing was penetrating my grief-stricken mind. All I knew was my final reason for living was gone. I only wanted to be alone with my pain…to be left to die.

"Colonel O'Neill. Major Carter," said a new voice, a familiar voice.

I felt Sam move. She ran her fingers through my hair. "Jack, it's the Nox." Her running her fingers through my hair penetrated my brain. Public displays of affection were not common to us…not until Jessie.

_Oh God! My baby is dead! Why her? Jessie! Charlie! Oh God! Why?_

I finally looked up and through my tears, saw a female Nox standing there beside Jacob. It still didn't make any sense to me why she was there. I looked at Jacob. What had he said? _We can heal her._

"No sarcophagus. No snake. I won't let her become a Tok'ra," I said.

Jacob put his hand on my shoulder. "I promise," said Selmac.

It finally registered. The Nox had brought all of us back from death once before. I looked at the Nox…Lya.

"Can you save my kid?

"Yes."

I stood and picked up my daughter's lifeless body. "Let's go," I said brusquely.

Jacob stood in my way. "Jack who's going to explain to me what the hell is going on?"

"I'm not letting her go without me. Where she goes, I go," I said firmly.

"Ok," said Jacob, throwing his hands in the air. "Sam, can you explain it to me?"

"I'm going with Jack, Dad," she said, putting her hand on my shoulder. Had the situation been less serious, I would've laughed at the look on Jacob's face when Sam called me 'Jack'.

"Jacob Carter, we need both biological parents with her for this to succeed," said Lya.

"Wait a minute. Did you say biological?" he asked shocked.

"I did. They are her biological parents. Did you not know this?"

"Biological? I thought she was adopted," he looked at Sam. She stepped closer to me and put her hand on Jessie's head.

"Will somebody please explain to me where the regulations suddenly disappeared to?" he shouted.

General Hammond put his hand on Jacob's shoulder. "I'll explain everything." Turning to me he said, "Go Jack."

We went through the gate to the Nox home world. I couldn't see anything. I guess the fact that it was night would explain that. When we got to the village, they forced me to give her up. I wanted to fight.

Only Sam kept me from fighting them. I was sinking into despair quickly. I knew the symptoms. I'd felt this way after Charlie died. I didn't care anymore. I'd promised Jessie I'd take care of Sam, but I couldn't. At the moment, Sam was, in fact, taking care of me.


	12. Resurrection

"_Sam's POV"_

When she quit breathing and flatlined, my heart split in two. The hole in my heart could never…_would_ never heal. But, looking at Jack grieve - for not one, but two lost children – I knew I would have to be the strong one. My time to grieve had yet to come.

After getting to the Nox home world, Jack struggled briefly when they tried to take her from him. I know he was trying to hold on to her, to keep the warmth in her body. Hell, if she were in my arms, I would do the same thing. I finally got Jack to let her go.

"Jack, look at me." I put my hands on either side of his face. "Look at me, Jack." I saw despair in his eyes and he was sinking fast. If I lost him this time, I'd never get him back.

"Come with me," said Lya.

"Come on Jack," I said softly, taking his hand in mine. She led and I, holding tightly to Jack's hand, followed silently. I pulled gently and he came willingly like a small, trusting child.

_My baby is gone. Oh God! Why am I still here?_

I choked back a sob as Lya led us into a small hut. "Where's my daughter?" I asked shakily.

"She is being taken care of by the elder."

"Is she going to live?"

She didn't say anything; just turned and walked away, leaving the two of us standing there. I turned to Jack. "Jack?" I put my hands on both sides of his face.

"I failed her," he said in a voice full of anguish.

"No," I said softly, the tears beginning to fall. I didn't know how much longer I could contain them.

"Yes," he said, gripping my wrists. "I told her that I would protect her. I failed her." He rested his forehead against mine. "I failed her." I was losing him. I had to do something quick.

"If you failed then so did I," I said. "I'm her mother. I'm supposed to be there to protect her."

I turned and walked away from him. I stared out the window for a few minutes when I heard him move up behind me.

"Jack, I'm hurting too…more than you can imagine. I've lost part of me…a part of me that I can never get back. It hurts so bad and I can't make it stop." I turned around and he pulled me into his arms. I let myself grieve then. We both did.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," he said. We held each other...standing, sitting, it didn't matter. We held each other. Neither one of us said a word for a long time. We held each other and cried.

"What do we do now, Jack?" I said emotionally drained.

"I don't know. But, I promised…" he stopped and took a shaky breath. "I promised Jessie I would take care of you…and I will."

He pulled me up to his lips. We kissed slowly, unsurely for several minutes. "I love you, Jack." I cried softly as he wiped the tears away.

"I love you too, Samantha."

We fell into a deep sleep brought on by grief. It was much later when we awoke to…

_(Mom? Dad? Where are you?)_

Jack jerked his head up, shock in his eyes…and something else….hope.

_(Jessie?) _I called out with my mind, knowing that Jack was doing the same thing.

_(Where are you guys? I'm surrounded by giant luck trolls! Where am I?)_

One of the Nox walked in. "Come with me."

Jack grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door. We followed him to another hut. He opened the door and motioned for us to step inside. Jack looked at me and squeezed my hand. We walked in.

"_My POV"_

"Mom! Dad!" I screamed, jumping up from the bed I was on and running to them.

Even thought they'd seen it before, they both looked shocked. Mom held her arms out to me and I jumped into them. She picked me up and held tightly, sobbing over and over, "My baby. My sweet baby girl."

"Mama!" I was crying too. She held me for a few minutes and then sat me down. I looked around at dad. He was crying silently, but he wouldn't look at me. I walked over to him. "Dad?" I said unsure of what was wrong…of why he wouldn't look at me. "Dad, look at me. I'm here. I'm ok now."

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault." I touched his arm, trying to make him look at me. He wouldn't.

"No, dad. It wasn't your fault."

He wasn't listening. "I let you get shot. If I had just let you orb us back to the SGC, you wouldn't have been shot."

"Dad…daddy…listen to me…please. It was meant to happen. It _had_ to happen. I had to die to get something…I think."

He finally looked at me. His walls came down. He picked me up and held me as tightly as mom did while we both cried. Mom walked over to us and dad pulled her into his embrace. The three of us held each other for a long time. We held each other until someone clearing their throat broke us out of our own pain.

I looked around and saw a luck troll. I stiffened in dad's arms. "It's ok, baby. They're friends…allies even," he said.

"They look like giant luck trolls."

Mom and dad both laughed shakily at that. We sat down and dad sat me on his lap, neither letting go of my hands. Even safe in his arms, I was suddenly very afraid. I knew instinctively that these luck trolls had helped me in some BIG way. How? I dunno. I could only guess. But, I wasn't really sure I wanted to know.

"Thank you," said dad. "That's all I can say." he sobbed kissing the top of my head where it rested on his shoulder.

"Jessie O'Neill," she said.

I tried to shrink, to make myself smaller. Damn. It didn't work. "Uh…that's me." Dad taught me, when all else failed, sarcasm usually did the trick.

She smiled gently. "I am Lya. We are the Nox. What do you remember?" she asked.

I shut my eyes and shivered, suddenly very…very cold. Mom wrapped a blanket around the three of us. None of us were ready to lose physical contact. "Is that better, baby?"

I shivered again, stronger tremors. "I remember," I whispered.

"What do you remember?" asked Lya.

I looked at mom helplessly. "Everything…I remember being shot and…I remember dying."

Dad's grip tightened to an almost painful degree. "Jessie…" he couldn't continue.

I turned to look at him. "It's ok, dad," I said as he pulled me against his chest. Mom whispered something to him and he gave her a watery smile.

"Me, too," he said, kissing her on the lips, softly.

"Rent a room," I mumbled. Yep. I was alive…and being a smartass again. That got a laugh from the both of them. They started tickling me. I knew that they were trying to make me forget. I endured the torture for a few minutes, when it became obvious I couldn't breathe.

Dad stopped and pulled me back onto his lap. Rubbing my back, he handed me a canteen with water. I drank a little of it. "Sorry baby."

"It's ok."

Lya came closer. "You are going to be a powerful ally against the Goa'uld."

Another one came in. "Do you know all of your abilities?" With that question, the tension inside was back.

Mom pulled me onto her lap. I shook my head as mom stroked my arm. I wrapped my arms around her neck and buried my head between her shoulder and neck, forcing myself to relax.

"Think about it for a moment."

"Look. Not that we're ungrateful or anything…" Dad touched my head, making me look at him. "We're more grateful than you will ever know." I grinned sleepily as he kissed my forehead. "But, give it rest ok. Give the kid a break."

I laid my head back down and started dozing. Dying will definitely exhaust you. I didn't want to admit what I already knew. I knew what powers I had. I knew what powers I would have. Hell, I knew how to call my powers to the surface. I didn't want to think about it just yet. I was safe and warm in the arms of my mom. I was where I wanted to be.

Mom spoke up. "Can you give us some time alone?"

"Yes. I apologize." he said and left.

Dad stood and shut the door. Turning back to us, he smiled. "Sam. Look." he said quietly, pointing at me.

She maneuvered me to where she could look at my face. "My angel," she whispered tearfully. I was in the space between sleeping and waking. I knew I had a goofy grin on my face. For the first time in two days, I had a peaceful look on my face. I was home…again. At least as close as I could get…for now.

"_Sam's POV"_

"Here," said Jack as he reached for her, but I wasn't ready to let her go yet. I'd just gotten her back and I wasn't letting her go…not just yet. I shook my head and held her tighter.

"Not yet. I've got her."

He understood. "Come on sweetheart," he said, helping me stand with Jessie in my arms. He led us to a bed at the side of the room. He helped me get my balance as I laid Jessie down. I curled myself around her small body and Jack curled himself around me.

"I love you, Sam." he whispered.

"I love you, Jack." I whispered back.

At the same time, we both said, "I love you, Jessie."

"I love you too." she murmured sleepily.

The last thing I remembered before falling asleep was the feeling of warmth and love coming from behind me and in front of me. I had the man I loved holding me as I held our child.

"_My POV"_

When I awoke the next morning, I was alone. I started to panic. That dream scared the shit out of me. I know I cried out. In six months, I'd gotten used to having someone near me when I woke up, even if it was in a different room. But, this place only had one room. I knew my mom and dad weren't there. I sat up rocking back and forth, tears streaming down my face. I guess the events of the last two days were finally catching up with me. I was back to being a small, frightened child.

Waking up alone is not enough to scare a lot of people. But, waking up alone on an alien planet scared the shit out of me. That and the memory dreams. Nothing like dying to wake an overactive imagination.

"Hey angel, you're awake." I heard mom say from behind me. I couldn't turn around to save my life.

I didn't turn…just rocked back and forth. Too scared. Still freaked out.

"Baby, what's the matter?" asked dad, reaching for me. I screamed and jerked away from him as soon as he touched my shoulder. I lay down and curled into a ball, trembling with fear. The dream was still fresh in my mind.

"You left me alone" was all I could say…whisper…something.

He lay down behind me. Wrapping his arms around me, he rocked me slowly, like a baby. "I'm sorry we left you alone." When I didn't say anything, he continued. "The Nox wanted to talk to us alone. I promise, it won't happen again."

Mom knelt by us. "Baby, what happened?'

"I don't want it." I sat up and pulled my knees to my chin. "I don't want these powers."

"They're cool." said mom.

"But, they're the only reason that I'm wanted."

"Bullshit!" said dad. I jumped at his anger and tried to get away. He pulled me into his arms and held me. "You're wanted because we love you. Not because of those powers."

I was still crying. "But, I just want to be normal. I'm not special. Why me?"

"Like hell you aren't special." said mom, stroking my hair. "You're very special. Your dad and I love you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to us. We love you more than anything on this planet."

Before she could say anything, dad quipped, "Or any other." I know he was trying to make me smile, but it didn't work.

"But, I don't want to be different. I just want to be a normal kid. I didn't want any of this shit to happen."

"Baby, I don't know about your mom, but I for one, am NOT normal." said dad. "From what I've seen, normal is way overrated.

"Baby girl, look at me. Your father has never, _ever_ been accused of being normal." I giggled a little as he play-hit her. "That's better." she said kissing my forehead.

"Forgive us?" said dad.

"Sure." I stood and walked to the window. "It's just …" I stopped, remembering the chilling aspects of my dream. I shivered again.

"Just what baby?" they asked walking up behind me. Mom wrapped her arms around me, feeling the slight tremors. "Baby? Talk to us?"

"Just dreams."

She turned me to face them. She used her thumb to wipe the tear running down my face. "What kind of dreams, baby?"

"Nightmares." I shivered and she pulled me back into their embrace. "I call 'em memory dreams." I hid my face in mom's chest.

Now, it was dad's turn to kiss my head. "Memory dreams? What kind of memories."

"I don't know…things that haven't happened yet. All I remember is pain, darkness, and more pain. There was something else."

"What?"

"I can't…you wouldn't believe me."

"You know we would. You can tell us anything."

"There's someone there. His eyes glowed. He had this thing on his hand." I shut my eyes, trying to shut out the memory. "It hurt so bad, but I couldn't stop it. I could feel the pain as he held it over my head." I turned my face to them. "It was happening to me, but it hasn't happened yet. Does that make sense?"

They both looked at me as though I'd lost my mind. I walked away again. "I knew you wouldn't believe me." I said, wrapping my arms around myself.

Mom turned to dad. "Jack, Lya said that her abilities would grow. What if premonition is one of these?"

They both walked over to me. Mom put her arms around me again and rested her chin on the top of my head. Dad, once again, put both arms around us.

But, I didn't feel anything. "It _will _happen…unless I can find a way to stop it." I said.

"How could you stop it?"

"I don't know…I can stop it, can't I?" I turned to face them, fear in my eyes. "Please tell me I can stop it."

Mom pulled me close. "We will help you stop it."

"But…"

Dad gently pulled me out of mom's arms. "Sunshine, if there's…" he turned me to him. "Jessie, sweetheart. Look at me." I did. "If there's one thing that you and your mom have taught me these last few months is that we don't know what's going to happen. You've taught me to live each day like it's your last." He put both hands on my face. "Forget about the past. Don't think about the future. Live here and now."

I couldn't help it. Even though the situation was serious, I giggled.

"What's so funny?"

I looked at mom and we both giggled. "What's so funny?"

"That was…uh…deep dad." I giggled again.

"I can be deep if I want." he said, tickling me briefly. Then he sobered. "You understand what I was saying, right?" he asked, smoothing my hair.

"I guess so." I looked away.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." I said, looking back. "It's just….I…I'm scared."

"Baby," said dad. "Whatever happens, we will face this together…you, your mom, and me." He put his arms around me and kissed me again. Then he kissed mom on the lips.

"Ewww." I said backing up and giving myself room to run. They both laughed as I started to run past them. They tackled me on the bed and mom held me down as dad tickled me mercilessly. We were going to be ok. We fell asleep again.

When we woke up, I had a split second of fear run through me. Then I realized we were still on the Nox home world. Mom and dad were still asleep. As drained as I was (dying will do that to you) I knew they were more exhausted than I was. Even in their sleep, they both cried out for me. Hell, I cried for me. I'd lost an innocence that I could never get back.

I'd had another memory dream and it caused me to tremble in my sleep. Dad reached behind him and pulled the blanket around us. Mom pulled me closer. I snuggled against her and fell asleep again.

"_General Hammond's POV"_

I called Dr. Fraiser and told her to bring me Jessie's diary. Jacob's attitude would have to change. I couldn't believe that he acted that way. His daughter had just lost her only child and all he wanted to know was how she even had child.

I handed the diary to Jacob. "Read this."

"What is it?"

"Jessie's diary. She kept a journal of everything that happened to her."

"It can't be all that bad, George."

"No Jacob. It's worse…much…much worse."

Twenty minutes later, he put the book down and looked at me. "Is this for real?"

"Yes."

"God damn it all to hell."

Someone knocked on the door. "Come."

A lieutenant stepped in. "Here is the file you requested, sir."

"Thank you lieutenant."

He turned to leave, but stopped at the door. "Sir, has there been any news of Jessie?"

"No, son. None yet."

"Yes, sir." he said saluting and turned to leave.

"Wait a minute, lieutenant," said Jacob.

"Sir?"

"I have a question for you."

"Sir?"

"You care about the child…Jessie."

"Yes, sir." he said. "We all do."

"We?"

"Yes, sir. All of SGC."

"Because of her abilities." said Jacob, thinking it was that simple.

"No, sir." stated the lieutenant emphatically.

"Then why?"

"Because she's a great kid. Even with the hell that she's been through, she can still find the good in people." He paused. "She makes me laugh. When I'm stressed out about something, she can always make me laugh. I think about what she's been through in ten years and my problems don't seem so big anymore."

"I see."

"Is that all, sir?"

"Yes."

The lieutenant nodded and left the room, shutting the door behind him.

"Jacob, what in the hell was that?"

"What was 'what', George?"

"Interrogating that lieutenant about why he cared so much about Jessie."

"Just curious." He looked at the folder in front of me. "What's that?"

"Jessie's medical file," I said, sliding the folder across the table to him. "Read it."

I left the room. I don't like being in the same room with those pictures. Just the thought of them makes me ill. I left Jacob alone to read the file and see the pictures. About fifteen minutes later I returned to hear him cussing.

"Well?"

"Selmac is highly agitated because of what we read and saw in that file." He shook his head. "That poor kid." He looked up. "Did you ever find out who did that to her?"

"Yeah. He's dead. Shot by the police trying to escape."

"Good."

I laughed bitterly. "When he showed up at Jack's the other night, I thought Jack was going to kill him with his own hands. I should've let him. Hell, we'd all have given him an alibi."

"He really cares about her doesn't he?"

"Yes, Jacob. He does. He loves her probably as much as he loved his son."

"And Sam?"

"She loves Jessie, too. They would both give their lives for her."

"How does Jack feel about Sam?"

"I don't ask."

"But, you suspect."

"Hell, Jacob. They have a child together. There is a connection there that will override any regulations they may or may not be breaking."

Jacob opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by...

_ Unauthorized off-world activation _

We both left for the gateroom at a run, entering as the iris closed. "Who is it?" I asked as the wormhole established itself.

"It's SG-1's signal, sir."

_This is it._

"Open the iris."

Dr. Jackson and Teal'c entered the gateroom as the iris opened. "General?"

I shook my head and held up my hand, forestalling any further inquiries. The same Nox as before stepped through…Lya…I think.

"General Hammond." she said.

"You have news of Jessie?" I held my breath.

"I do. The child lives."

Cheers went up all around the gateroom and above in the control room. A very good day. A very, very good day.


	13. Tests

"_My POV"_

A few days later, the Nox sent for me. I guess mom and dad were worried about me bolting; they both kept tight grips on my hands. I was scared. Hell, I'll admit it. I'd only met one alien, Teal'c…well, three actually: Teal'c, Rya'c, and Master Bratac.

"Jessie!"

I turned and saw Daniel, Teal'c and Jacob Carter standing behind us. Mom and dad let me go and I ran to them. Daniel was in tears as I jumped into his arms.

"Uncle Danny!"

Tears in his eyes, he hugged me tightly and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "You're alive!"

"You noticed that huh?" I grinned hugging him tightly.

He squeezed me. "You are getting to be more and more like your dad every day…ya little smart ass." He grinned before handing me to Teal'c.

When I looked into Teal'c's eyes, I wasn't prepared for the emotions I saw. Fear, love, anxiety, and worry. He leaned his forehead against mine.

"It is good to see you alive and well, Jessie." He gave me a brief hug before putting me down. Wow. That was definitely emotional for Teal'c.

I looked at mom's dad. He didn't say anything…just stared at me. I turned away and walked back to my parents. Dad picked me up and sat me on his lap.

_(He doesn't like me)_

_(He doesn't know you…yet) _- mom

_(Your point being…what?)_

_(Don't worry about it baby. We like you) _- dad

Dad grinned and I stuck my tongue out. I got tickled for that.

"Dad, quit it!" I complained.

The Nox came forward. One of the Nox said "You asked us what powers the child has." He looked directly at mom's dad.

Mom tensed. "Damn him."

Dad slid his arm around her waist and kissed her on the temple. "Easy baby."

Jacob caught the kiss and shook his head. "Yes, I did."

"There are several active powers and some dormant. The active powers are teleportation, telekinesis, telepathy, the ability to heal. She can also create a shield around herself and those she wishes to protect."

"Yeah, when I'm not scared shitless." I muttered, earning me a poke. I glared at the poker – dad. He stuck his tongue out at me. I returned the favor.

Mom rolled her eyes. "Oh for cryin' out loud, I don't have one child. I have two! Sheesh," she said with a proud smile.

We both stuck our tongues out at her. Daniel coughed to cover a laugh. Mom reached over and poked me in the ribs.

"Sam, pay attention." said Jacob sternly. Daniel and Teal'c were trying – unsuccessfully – to hide their grins. I stiffened because of the look of disapproval on Jacob's face, directed at me.

_(He really doesn't like me now)_

I turned and wrapped my arms around dad's neck burying my head in his shoulder, tears falling silently. My own grandfather didn't like me.

Mom put her hand on top of mine and squeezed it. She saw the pain in my eyes and, looking at her father angrily, stuck her tongue out at him before turning back to the meeting. I sniffled and giggled. Dad smirked. Jacob looked shocked.

The Nox continued. "She is also able to create a ball of energy more powerful than a blast from a Jaffa staff weapon." He turned to me. "Will you demonstrate this?"

I shook my head again. "No."

There were murmurs from everyone. Jacob had a triumphant look on his face. I knew what he was thinking. He was thinking I couldn't do it. But, I didn't care. I really didn't.

"Why not baby?" asked dad putting his chin on my shoulder.

"I don't wanna hurt anyone." I whispered, earning a strange look from Jacob. Showed how much he knew.

"You will not hurt anyone." said Lya. "We will make sure of that."

I sighed deeply and shook my head, knowing that I couldn't get out of this. I pushed off of dad's lap and stood, "Where do you want me?" I asked angrily.

"Where everyone can see you," she said.

I walked to the center of the arena. Turning, I saw Jacob whisper something to mom. She shook her head angrily.

_(Mom)_ I thought helplessly.

She turned to look at me. (_It's ok baby. Do what you have to do)_

I held out my hand and felt the energy rise. I looked down and saw the familiar ball of light. I looked up at dad. He could see the fear in my eyes.

_(It's ok baby. We're here…me and your mom)_

I let the ball of energy fly towards the trees. I took a deep breath as Jacob said, "Get on it with." It reminded me of Simmons. Then he grabbed mom by the arm.

I snapped. "Let her go!" I screamed throwing out my hand towards Jacob. He flew backwards and landed about ten feet away with a thud. He didn't move. "No!" I screamed again. I ran over to him. I held my hands out and felt the familiar warmth and saw the glow. I healed him.

When he opened his eyes, he gasped "Holy Hannah! What happened?" His eyes rested on me.

"I'm sorry. I…I…I didn't mean to!" I orbed out from where I was standing.

They found me inside our hut, buried under the blankets. I'd put up my shield. I didn't want to hurt anyone else. Dad stepped forward and got a slight shock from the shield.

"Baby, let us in." he pleaded.

"Go away! I don't wanna hurt you!" I yelled, anguish in my voice. There was no way they couldn't have heard me.

"You won't hurt us. Let us in."

"No! Just go away!"

"Baby, please. Trust me. You won't hurt us." begged mom.

I knew against dad I couldn't win. I uncovered my head and looked at Jacob. He gasped at the pain in my eyes. "I told you. I told you I didn't want to do this." I let the shield drop and mom and dad stepped in. I automatically raised it again, as Jacob tried to step through. Mom pulled me onto her lap and held me as I cried helplessly…and hopelessly.

"This is why I don't want it…any of it."

"Jessie," said Jacob, "we had to test you. With your reluctance to use your powers, we knew you would only react if forced. We knew you would only react if you thought Jack and Sam were in danger."

"A test? Dad, have you lost your mind? You had no right! She's just a kid!" yelled mom.

"We had to Sam."

"Who? The Tok'ra? What do they have to do with this?"

"They wanted to know what her abilities are." he said.

"Well now you know." said dad angrily.

I turned to her. "I just wanna go home…please mama…please take me home." I cried.

She nodded and hugged me fiercely. "Ok baby. Daniel, dial us home."


	14. Grandpa

Mom sold her house as soon as we got back to Earth and we moved into dad's house permanently. During the day, everything was fine. SG-1 was on stand down for a while so I could get readjusted after spending a week on the Nox home world.

During the day, I had things to keep me busy…I didn't have to think. But, the nights were bad. Too many dreams. They started sleeping with me again and that helped some. But, I would still wake up in a cold sweat or tears or screaming or all three. When that happened, they would always wrap their arms around me and comfort me until I fell asleep again.

I was almost eleven. I was too old to sleep with my parents. So, the night before they had to go back to work, I crawled out of their bed and went to my own room. I pulled the covers over my head and held my Air Force Bear. Even as scared as I was, it didn't take very long for me to fall asleep.

When I awoke the next morning around 6:00, they were both standing over me grinning. "What?" I asked.

"Good morning, angel" said mom.

"Morning Sunshine," said dad.

I stretched and wiped the sleep from my eyes. "Morning."

"How'd you sleep, Sunshine?" asked dad tentatively.

I thought about it and shrugged. "Good, I guess." I thought again. "Hey! No bad dreams!"

"Sweet!" said dad, making me smile. "Now, _that's_ the reason I call you 'Sunshine'. Are you hungry?" he asked hopefully.

My appetite had been nil since I came home. I only ate when forced and even then it wasn't much. "Yeah."

Mom pulled me from bed. "Come on."

Dad pulled me up on his back. "How 'bout omelets?"

"Sounds good," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and laying my head on his shoulder.

He carried me downstairs and sat me on a barstool. "What do you want in your omelet?"

"Ummm….cheese, ham, and mushrooms."

"A girl after my own heart." He grinned. "How about you, honey?" he asked mom.

"Same," she said, pulling the juice and milk out of the fridge. "Which do you want first, sweetheart?"

"Milk please." She poured me a glass and handed it to me. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

I drank a little. "Hey, mom?"

"Yeah angel?"

"What time do you have to go in?"

"Ummm…8:30. Why?"

"No reason. Can you drop me off at Cassie's on your way?"

"Nope."

"Why not?" I asked drinking more milk.

"You don't need a babysitter today. You're coming with us. General Hammond asked us to bring you. He said the Tok'ra wanted to talk to you."

"And it begins," I mumbled.

"What?" asked dad.

"Nothin' dad."

"Sweetheart…" he began.

There was a knock at the door. "Who in the hell can that be this early in the morning?" mumbled mom. "I'll get it." She got up from the table and tousled my hair. "You behave."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said.

Before dad could continue his sentence, I interrupted him. "Dad, can I go watch some TV?"

"Honey…" I just looked at him. "Yeah, go ahead." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, watching as I stood up and started to walk out of the kitchen. He gently grabbed my arm. "Hey. _Are_ you ok?" he asked quietly.

"I'm fine."

"Sunshine?" he growled at me.

"I'm ok dad. _Really_." I gave him my goofiest grin...at least I tried to. I know it came out strained.

"Ok. Go see if _Rocket Power's _on TV." He hugged and kissed me before ruffling my hair.

"Sweet," I grinned as he laughed.

I ran into the living room as mom opened the door. I flipped on the TV and curled up on the couch to drink my milk and watch _Rocket Power._ I didn't hear mom walk back to the kitchen. I didn't see who had been at the door.

About ten minutes later, dad hollered "Sunshine, breakfast is ready."

"Coming."

I turned off the TV and walked in the kitchen. My heart stopped. Jacob Carter was sitting at the table. I had a very sick feeling. I was kind of hoping that the Tok'ra would send someone other than my grandfather…no…Jacob. I'd almost killed him. I couldn't think of him as my grandfather.

I looked at dad and, uneasily, sat down next to mom. "It's ok baby. Here," he said putting my omelet in front of me. "Eat." he said as mom put a glass of orange juice in front of me.

I started to eat, barely tasting the food. My throat was so dry, I could barely swallow my food. I didn't pay much attention to what was said. I kind of zoned out. The Linkin' Park song _In the End_ kept running through my head. I felt someone or something probing my mind, so I concentrated on the song.

_ I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart. What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard and got so far. But, in the end it doesn't even matter. I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end, it doesn't even matter _

Mom touched my arm making me jump. "Angel."

"Hmmm? What?"

She smiled and brushed my hair out of my eyes. "My dad asked you a question."

"What?" I asked, not quite looking at him.

"What's that mean?" he repeated.

"What's 'what' mean?" I asked, still not quite looking at him.

"'_In the end it doesn't even matter_'."

"It's a song. It's called _In the End _by Linkin' Park. It keeps me distracted. It helps me to kind of zone out when I'm…" I stopped. They were all staring at me.

"Jake, she didn't hear our conversation."

They _all_ laughed. I don't like being laughed at. I'd spent most of my life being laughed at and put down. I felt sick at my stomach. I put down my fork and pushed away from the table.

"May I be excused?" I asked mom.

The laughter died. "Baby…" she began.

I looked at dad. "Dad, I'm finished. Can I go?"

"Sunshine, we weren't laughing…" he started.

"Don't call me that." I said with a short moment of satisfaction at the look of distress on dad's face.

Jacob looked at me strangely. "Hey now."

I stood. "Fuck off." I orbed out without waiting for a reply. There was that language thing again.

I orbed to my room without a second thought. I didn't even notice my door was still open until they were almost to it. They were running. It was kind of funny…the looks on their faces as I nodded to the door and it slammed shut. I nodded at the lock and locked the door.

I heard someone pounding on it. "Jessica Caitlin O'Neill. Open this damned door right now," yelled dad.

"Go to hell!" I shouted back and nodded towards the stereo. Linkin' Park's _Runaway_ blared through the speakers. I calmly got dressed and then fell to the floor sobbing.

_They laughed at me. They know better. They know I don't like to be laughed at. Oh God. My own parents were laughing at me._

They were still pounding on the door. I heard a key turn in the door, but didn't move.

"Baby, what's going on? What's wrong?" asked dad falling to his knees in front of me.

I put my head on my knees and wrapped my arms around them not saying anything. Mom sat down next to me. "Baby, talk to us."

I shook my head in anger, the tears still falling. Mom reached for me. "Don't touch me." Her eyes widened in pain as she dropped her hand.

"Sam, I think I know what happened," said Jacob.

"What dad?" said mom, not looking away from me.

"We laughed."

"Yeah."

"She thinks we were laughing at _her_."

"That's bullshit, Jacob," said dad. "She knows we would _never_ laugh at her."

"Jack's right dad." She turned to me. "Baby, you know…"

"Look at her face, guys."

I tried to keep my face impassive, but failed. They saw what they did. They saw the pain on my face.

"Damn," said dad. "Baby, I'm sorry." He reached for me, but I jerked away.

"I don't like being laughed at," I said, voice full of anguish.

"We know."

"Then why were you laughing at me?" I cried looking at him and then away.

Dad reached for me again. This time, I let him wrap his arms around me. "Baby, we weren't laughing at you. We were laughing because of what you said."

"In other words, you were laughing at me," I said.

"No," he said grabbing my arms and forcing me to look at him. "Baby, look at me. You said that song kept you distracted. You didn't hear Jake say that he needed some distraction from Tok'ra business. The look on his face when you said that was priceless. You orbed out before we could explain."

"Sam, can I?" asked Jacob.

"Go ahead, dad."

He knelt in front of me. I shied away. A moment of pain flashed through his eyes. "Jessie I'm not going to hurt you. You know I am part of the Tok'ra resistance." I nodded. "Well, I talked to Jack and Sam and asked them to allow you to go to the Tok'ra base with me."

_And it begins_

"Why?" I asked aloud.

"Well, I have a lot of friends who would like to meet you." He smiled. "And it would give me the chance to get to know my newest grandchild better…and Selmak would like to get to know you too."

To say that shocked the hell out of me was an understatement. I knew there were two being in there, but I didn't know they could "talk" to each other. I stared, open mouthed at three smiling people.

"Really?" I tried to sound sarcastic. Failed miserably. Couldn't keep that pesky hope out of my voice. I wiped the tears out of my eyes.

"Really," said Jacob grinning.

"But…" dad held up one finger. "There's one stipulation."

"One stipu-what?" I asked

"Stipulation," he laughed and tousled my hair.

"What's that mean?"

"There's something that has to happen in order for you to go with him."

"What's that?"

"I told him, where you go, we go," he said nuzzling the back of my head.

"Sweet."

"Baby, your father is not the best of influences," she said laughing at the expression on dad's face.

"Yeah, but you love me anyway," he said pulling her close to him for a kiss.

"Yeah I do," said mom.

"Sheesh. Rent a room already," I groaned.

"That's enough out of you," said dad standing up. He pulled me to my feet and threw me over his shoulder. I almost fell when he carried me down the stairs, because I was laughing so hard.

Jacob's cab was waiting outside. "I have to head back today, so I guess I'll meet you three at the base tomorrow."

"Ok. See you then dad," said mom.

Dad sat me down on the couch. "Here's what we're gonna do." He pointed to me. "You, my only sunshine, need to go pack enough for at least three weeks."

"Like what?"

"Shorts, socks, unmentionables," he blushed. "T-shirts…oh and don't forget the _Gameboy._"

"You just want to play _The Simpsons._"

"Damn skippy. Now go." He swatted at me as I ran past them.

I grabbed my duffel and decided what to take: t-shirts, shorts, panties, socks, pj's. All the necessities.

_Guitar, Air Force Bear, Gameboy, Games, CD player, and CD's…hmmm…Linkin' Park, New Found Glory, Ataris, Green Day, Weezer, Blink-182, Toad…yeah that'll work._

"Don't forget your toothbrush and _Flintstones_!" yelled mom.

"Ok…ok…ok."

About half an hour later, I was ready to go. Going downstairs, I went to the kitchen to get some necessities…ramen noodles, _spaghettios_, _fruit loops_, etc. I heard laughter behind me.

"Kiddo, you moving out?" asked dad with a grin.

"No. But, I'm taking no chances with alien food." I grinned goofily. "I sure as hell ain't eating MRE's."

"Alrighty then." he said flipping me over his shoulder again. He picked up my bag and mom got the guitar. "Ok, kids, let's move out."

He tossed me in the truck and the gear in the back. We drove to the base, joking and laughing. But, I was getting nervous. I hadn't spent any time with Jacob since the Nox home world. According to mom, he didn't hold a grudge. I just wasn't sure. I mean, it _was_ my fault.

"Whatcha think' 'bout?" asked dad.

"Nothin'…everything."

"Sweetheart, you don't have to be nervous." said mom.

"Tell that to my stomach." I mumbled.

They laughed and mom hugged me. "It'll all work out."

We spent the night on the base. Surprisingly, I slept very good that night. I was nervous…very nervous.

When I was living at the base, dad had a couple of SGC uniforms made for me. I changed into the desert fatigues. They thought I was cute wearing military fatigues and me barely four feet tall. We'd had pictures made of us wearing our SGC uniforms…all of us…Mom, dad, me, Daniel, and Teal'c. Almost everybody on the base had a copy of it. Talk about embarrassing. Sheesh.

They didn't trust me with a zat, but I didn't want one anyway. I had my own protection…I just hoped it worked when it was supposed to.

Dad and mom came out of the locker room with P-90's and zats. Dad caught the raised eyebrow I gave him and grinned. I learned that from Teal'c.

"Never leave home without 'em. Besides," he said, throwing an arm around me and one around mom. "How else would I protect the women I love?"

I coughed and rolled my eyes while he gave mom a kiss. Breaking the kiss, he pointed to me. "Don't say it."

"Don't say what?"

"'Rent a room'."

"Dad?"

"Hmmm?"

"Rent a room." I said laughing. I took off running but, he caught me halfway down the corridor and threw me over his shoulder.

"Dad, if you keep doing that, all the blood's gonna go to my head." I complained.

"Too late…it already is." he said setting me on my feet with a laugh.

I hit him in the chest. "And you call _me_ a smartass?"

"I'm allowed. I'm your father." I giggled and stuck my tongue out at him. "Hey. No giggling allowed."

I stuck my tongue out at him again. We laughed all the way to the gateroom. The laughter died as I stood at the door, not really wanting to go in.

They both put their hands on my shoulders. I was trembling. "It's ok baby." said dad.

"Easy sweetheart," said mom.

I gulped. "I'm scared mom. I…I don't know if I can do this."

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Really?"

"Really."

I took a deep breath and thought about it for a minute or two. I made up my mind. Taking a deep breath, I said "I'm ready."

He squeezed my shoulder. "That's my sunshine."

We entered the gateroom as the gate activated. I felt like I was going to throw up. Four people stepped through. The only one I recognized was my grandfather. Mom and dad reached down and took my hands in theirs, giving me a squeeze. I was still shaking a little.

_Nervous? Who me?_

"Sam," said Jacob, giving her a hug; "Jack," and shook his hand; "Jessie," and then proceeded to surprise the hell out of all of us by picking me up and giving me a hug.

I hugged him back and he put me down. "Hi…uh…" I said, not knowing what to call him.

_(Grandpa) _he thought to me.

I smiled and stepped back to my parents who'd caught the word in their minds too. "Hi, Grandpa."

One of the Tok'ra stepped forward with a strange look on his face. Then he smiled. "Samantha." he said reaching out with his hands.

She smiled and took my hand instead. "Martouf."

"Hi Marty." said dad. He put his hand on my back. "Sunshine, this is Martouf. Martouf this is sunshine…uh Jessie" he said, laughing when I jabbed him in the ribs. "Ow baby!"

"Hello." I said, glaring at dad who just grinned at me.

"Hello." he said, not even looking at me, but looking to mom for an explanation.

He got one. At the same time, mom and dad said, "My daughter." I giggled as they looked at each other and grinned.

"Uncle Danny and Teal'c not coming?" I asked.

"Nope. Daniel's with SG-3 and Teal'c's with SG-5 until we get back."

"Oh. Ok."

Grandpa looked at me and smiled. "You ready honey?"

_(As ready as I'll ever be)_

I took a deep breath and said "Yes, sir." He reached out and took my hand in his.

The four of us walked through the Stargate together. Coming out on the other end, we were surrounded by a bright sun. I orbed and pulled out my shades.

"_Sam's POV "_

"Bright light." said Jessie as she put on her sunglasses. She sounded just like Gizmo from _Gremlins_.

"Yeah, but not as bright as your smile," said Jack teasingly, wrapping his arms around her protectively.

"Dad?" she said, sliding out of his grasp.

"Yeah sunshine?" he said with a grin.

"Shut up."

Jessie, Dad, and I all laughed at the expression on his face. "That's priceless. It's the first time I've seen Jack O'Neill speechless...and to think it was done by a ten year old girl!" laughed dad.

"Bite me," muttered Jack.

I leaned close to him and whispered, "I will later…much, much later."

Jack blushed and his breathing took on an erratic rhythm. "Easy flyboy. You're going to blow right here and we can't have that, now can we."

"No, ma'am," he whispered.

"_My POV "_

The first couple of days on the Tok'ra world were uneventful. Everything was underground, but the coolness of that wore off pretty quickly. I just hung out with mom, dad, and grandpa. I actually had fun and let myself relax. My grandpa was pretty cool. I liked talking to Selmak too. She's funny…and smart too.

On the third day, I had a memory dream. I knew what I had to do.

On the fourth day, a member of the Tok'ra came for me. Some woman named Freya…her symbiote was Anise. She looked at dad the same way Martouf kept looking at mom. Apparently, they both had feelings for my parents. But, my appearance had given dad and mom the freedom to act on their own long-buried feelings.

Anyway, I awoke to the sound of several people arguing. From the sound of it, I was the subject…and it was my family against Martouf and Freya.

"It is time, Jacob." said Martouf firmly.

"She needs to learn to control her powers." said Freya, agreeing.

"She's just a kid." argued dad.

"Besides," said mom. "She already knows how to control her powers."

They argued back and forth for several minutes, each side unwilling to give in. Sighing deeply, I crawled out of bed and got dressed. It was too hot to wear much, so I settled for a t-shirt and khaki shorts…no shoes.

I smiled when I walked in because grandpa said, "She's my granddaughter and _I_ don't think she's ready for this."

Dad saw me and, together, he and mom stood. "Morning Sunshine," he said pulling me into a group hug.

Yawning, I said "Morning." I looked around at every one. "What's going on?"

Freya opened her mouth to say something, but mom cut her off. "Baby you hungry?"

I started to say no, but the growling in my stomach gave me a way. "Yes ma'am."

"Samantha…" began Martouf.

"Don't 'Samantha' me. My daughter is hungry. _Nothing_ is going to happen until she's had a decent breakfast and is completely awake." She turned away and walked into the improvised kitchen.

Dad sat down and pulled me on to his lap. I was still half asleep because he was rocking me gently. I didn't pay much attention to what was said. I laid my head on his shoulder and let the noise lull me to sleep again.

Dad gently shook me awake. "Wake up baby. Time to eat." He put a bowl of _Fruit Loops _in front of me. I dug in with everyone looking at me. Dad grinned. "Slow down baby. Nobody's gonna take it away from you."

I swallowed and slowed down. After I'd finished eating, the argument picked up again. It was becoming animated and very boring to me. I whispered "CD player" which orbed to me. I was being stared at by Anise and Martouf. I heard dad chuckle at the looks their faces.

"I told you she could control it" said mom, proudly.

I giggled and put on my headphones…mmmm…Linkin' Park. I finished eating and let _Place for My Head_ drown out the noise. I was in the middle of the cd when I realized that the three Tok'ra had gone. I took off my headphones and looked at my parents.

"Where'd everybody go?"

"They're gone," said dad.

"Well…duh."

"Smart ass." he grinned.

"Eh…right back atcha."

Mom smiled at the playfulness between me and dad. "Baby, they want…"

"I know mom," I said softly.

"You don't have to do it if you don't want to baby," said dad.

"I know, but…"

"But, what?" asked mom.

I took a deep breath. "If I _don't_ do this, they'll never leave me alone. Maybe if I show them what they want, they'll finally stop hounding me. Oh for cryin' out loud!" Dad grinned and tickled me a little as Martouf stuck his head back in.

"We are ready."

Mom and dad stood and held out their hands. Taking a deep breath, I took their hands, allowing them to pull me to my feet. Dad turned around and motioned for me to jump. He caught my legs and steadied me before moving. I waggled my finger at my cd player and it flew to my hands.

"That is still so cool." said mom.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

She playfully slapped the back of my head and said "Behave."

I stuck my tongue out at her. "You're no fun."

She laughed as we stepped into the dim corridor. "Wait dad."

"What?" he asked and immediately stopped.

"No shoes," I said stretching my legs out in front of him and wiggling my toes.

"Orb 'em."

"Flip flops," I muttered and they appeared. Mom took them and put them on my feet, tickling as she did.

"Mom! Quit it!" I said, jerking my legs, trying to get away, laughing the whole time.

"Sam, you're gonna make me drop her." said dad.

"Yes, dear." she said kissing him.

"Ewww."

"Hush you…or I'll let your mom tickle you again."

They kissed again. I heard a gasp behind us. I turned my head and saw Anise and Martouf staring at mom and dad with mouths wide open.

_(You are soooo busted) _I thought to both of them, grinning the whole time.

"Maybe they'll both take the hint now." whispered dad, backing up and grinning.

(_Yeah and back the fu…)_

"Jessie!" they both exclaimed to confused looks.

"What?" I grinned sheepishly.

"Behave," said both of them…but they were laughing.

Martouf stepped forward, his face unreadable. "Is the child ready?"

"Gee I don't know Marty. Why don't you ask her?" said dad sarcastically.

He took a deep breath trying to control his anger. "Jessica, are you ready?"

"Whatever," I squeaked.

"Then we will take her from here." said Anise reaching for me. Yep…definitely didn't like that one.

I tightened my grip around dad's shoulders and buried my head between his shoulder blades. "No."

"Not no, but hell no." said dad. "Where she goes, we go. You know that."

"We need to talk to her in private, Jack." said Anise.

"Oh no." said dad and mom both.

"Jack…Sam…I couldn't get them to agree to that part of it." said grandpa.

"Then this is where it ends." said dad firmly.

"Jack, I couldn't get them to agree to allow you and Sam there. But, they did say that I would be with her the entire time. Me and Selmak."

"No." said dad.

I put my head on his shoulder. Mom walked up and put her arms around us both from behind.

_(It's ok. I'll go)_

_(NO) _- dad.

_(Dad, I'll be fine. Grandpa's gonna be with me…him and Selmak. I'll be ok)_

_(Baby, you don't have to do this) _- mom

_(Yes, I do)_

_(Are you sure?) _- mom

_(No, but I still have to do it mom) _I got a grin for that.

_(Baby, I don't know)_ - dad

_(Dad, let me down)_

_(Just be careful baby) _- both

_(I will. I promise)_

"Marty?"

"Yes Jack?"

"If anything happens to her, I will hold you personally responsible." he said, putting me down on my feet.

Martouf stared and I could sense his fear. Anise stared at mom as they both hugged me and kissed me. Barely concealed hostility was on her face as mom entwined her fingers with dad's.

Grandpa took me by the hand and led me away. I turned back to look at dad and mom. They were holding each other, watching me be carried away. I watched them until I couldn't see them. I was scared. Grandpa and Selmak both sensed it.

"C'mere honey." I held out my arms and he picked me up and carried me into the building where the testing would begin.

(_I'm scared grandpa)_

_(I know baby girl. I'm here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you)_

_(Promise?)_

"Cross my heart." he said aloud.

"What does that mean?" asked Anise.

"Private conversation." I said, rolling my eyes.

"We didn't hear anything."

"We were using telepathy and like she said it was a private conversation."

A look of disbelief crossed their faces. On Anise's face, there was also a look of disdain. I knew what I had to do. They wanted a demonstration. I was going to give them a demonstration they would never forget. It was time to play. Oh goody.

_(Put me down please)_

He did, but pulled me against him, putting his hands on my shoulders.

_(Mom…dad?)_

_(I'm here baby. You ok?)_ - dad

_(Yeah, but I need you and mom's permission to do something)_

_(What are you planning sunshine?)_ - dad

_(Just a little test of my own. I'm tired of them pushing me around)_

_(That's my sunshine. Do what you have to do. Just be careful) _ - dad

_(I will)_

_(Love you sunshine) _- dad

_(Love you angel) _ - mom

_(Love you both)_

_(Jessie?) _- dad

_(Yeah dad?)_

_(Give 'em hell baby) _I grinned widely at that._  
_

"Jessie?" Grandpa's voice broke in on my thoughts.

"Sorry grandpa. I was talking to dad."

_(Grandpa?)_

_(Yeah baby)_

_(I'm going to give them what they want…my way)_

"Are you sure?"

"Ohhh yeahhh…" I said, grinning mischievously. He returned my smile.

I nodded. Oh yeah…it was time to play. I turned and faced them both. I rubbed my hands together.

_Woohoo! Here goes nothing._

I orbed out and orbed back in behind them. "Whatcha lookin' for?" They both jumped when I spoke to them. When they turned around, I robed out again, this time coming back in on the other side of the room. "Lookin' for me?"

That's when I noticed the device in Anise's hand. She raised it as I raised my shield. The shield deflected the blast into the far wall. "NO!" yelled grandpa.

I froze both of them. "Grandpa, I'm ok"

I unfroze them and she aimed again. I knew it was another test. But, there was something in her eyes. She was jealous of mom and she didn't like me. I flung my hand out and the device flew to the other side of the room. They both started walking towards me. I'd held out my hand and let the energy ball form. I'd had enough. It was time to end this.

"Don't make me do this." They kept coming. I let the ball grow. "Please, don't make me do this" I said tearfully. I didn't want to hurt them.

"She's passed your tests Anise. That's enough" said Selmak.

"Just back off…please…back off." I begged them. Surprisingly, they did.

Martouf smiled. "Now, you just need to learn to focus your abilities."

"I thought I was focused." I said, tossing the energy ball into the air and letting it hover then fade.

"Can you aim at an object and destroy it?"

"Don't know…don't care." I said.

"Would you like to learn?"

"No." I said angrily, just wanted to get the hell out of there.

"Why?" he asked in surprise.

"I told you already. I don't wanna hurt anyone."

"But, what about the Goa'uld?"

"I don't know."

"We can teach you to focus your abilities."

I twitched as I felt Anise probe my mind. She was looking for something.

I looked at Grandpa. He nodded his head. "Unfortunately, most of the Tok'ra feel the same. That's why they asked for this damned test." He put his arms around me.

I let my shoulders slump. "I don't know. I don't want any of this."

She'd found what she was looking for. "You have no choice" said Anise. It was her talking, but I heard _his _voice.

I stiffened with remembrance. I was seven years old again, being raped that first time.

Grandpa sensed the change in me. "That's enough!" said Selmak. Grandpa stuck his head out the door and called for dad. "Jack!"

"Do you want to stand by and watch the Goa'uld enslave your world…torture and kill your parents?"

"Anise!" shouted grandpa.

I backed up as mom and dad came in. "Do you want to know about torture? Try being seven years old and being raped and beaten over and over again by the people who are supposed to protect you." I fell to my knees, crying silently and shaking uncontrollably.

"You bitch!" yelled mom, falling beside me and wrapping her arms around me as I trembled violently.

Dad ran towards Martouf. "Damn you!" he shouted, but Grandpa stepped between them.

Selmak spoke up. "Colonel." Dad kept moving and Grandpa put his hand up. "Jack, take Jessie and go back to your room."

He looked at Martouf (who had tears in his eyes due to my confession) and Anise (wide-eyed shock on her face). "I warned you. I warned you if anything happened to her, I would hold you personally responsible." He stepped up into Martouf's face. "And I will. This I promise."

Turning to Anise he said angrily "And you…making her dredge up those damned memories."

"I didn't know…" she stammered.

"It was none of your damned business!" he yelled. "She's ten years old for cryin' out loud! You have no right doing this shit to her!"

"Jack." said Grandpa. "Take her back to your room."

Remembering the dream, I stood and pushed away from mom. "No. I'll do what they say." The tears were still falling.

"Jessie…" said dad, holding his hand out to me. I took it and let him hold me for a minute, rubbing the back of my head. "You shouldn't have to deal with this shit."

"I know dad." I said burying my head in his stomach. Mom walked over and put her arms around me from behind. "I know, but I have to do this. Like she said. I don't have a choice."

"Yes, baby…you do."

I pulled back. "No dad, I really don't. If I don't do this, I could lose you and mom. I can't go through that again."

"You won't lose us. You can't get rid of us that easily." he said trying to make me smile.

I turned to mom. "Mom, make him understand why I have to do this."

"I can't baby. I don't understand why you think you have to do this." she said tightening her grip.

I jerked away from them both. "Damnit I had a fucking memory dream last night!" They both stiffened.

"What?" gasped dad, fear in his eyes. I hadn't had one in weeks.

"What's a memory dream?" asked Grandpa.

"A premonition dad," said mom, fear in her voice.

"Wow."

I looked at them with fear in my eyes. I let them see it. "If I don't do this, then I'll lose you. If I don't do this, they'll make me one of them and then make me hurt you." I looked up at dad. "Dad, please…believe me." I started trembling.

He shivered and pulled me close. Actually, I don't know who was trembling…me or them. Probably all three of us. Minutes passed and none of us moved.

"You're sure about this?" whispered dad.

"_Yes_. If I don't do this, you and mom and everyone else I love, will die."

"You don't know that baby." said mom, desperation in her voice.

"Mom," I said pushing away from them again. "I _do_ know." I turned away and walked to the door.

"Sunshine…" dad began.

"Do you remember the first memory dream I told you about?"

"Yes."

"That is what I have to stop. I know that now. If I don't do this that _will_ happen. He'll hurt me and then go after you and mom." I turned to them, tears in my eyes. "I can't let it happen." I fell to my knees as I started shaking again. They wrapped their arms around me and held me as I cried "I can't let it happen."

"_We_ won't let that happen baby," said dad tearfully.

"No…" said mom. "_We _won't."

"We're in this together…you, me and your mom. We're a family and whatever happens, we're in this together," said dad, tears in his eyes.

"You forgot somebody," said grandpa.

"Who?" asked dad, not letting go.

"Me…and Selmak. We're with you. We're all in this together. After all, _we_ are a family now."

Martouf stepped forward. "We, too, will help."

"No," said dad looking up with anger in his eyes. "You two will stay the hell away from her!"

"Jack…" began Anise.

"No. You two have done enough damage."

"As much as I hate to admit it Jack…they're right. They were chosen for a reason" said Grandpa.

"I don't care if the President chose them. They're not coming anywhere near my daughter," he said, picking me up. I laid my head on his should and continued to sob uncontrollably. He held me as everyone stayed silent until my tears stopped.

"Jack they were chosen by the Tok'ra high council."

"So what? For cryin' out loud, Jacob. She's your granddaughter!" dad snapped.

"You don't think I know that? I'd kill anyone before they hurt her!" grandpa shouted back.

"As would I!" said Selmak vehemently, briefly taking over.

_(Dad, put me down)_

_(Nope)  
_

_(Dad, please put me down)_

_(Nuh uh…not gonna happen)_

_(Dad…put me down or I'll whammy you) _I threatened.

He chuckled weakly and put me on my feet. Mom put her hand on my shoulder and pulled me to them. Dad had his arms around my neck and mom had my right hand in hers. I looked up at the two people who gave me life…not once, but three times…and I knew what I had to do.

I turned and hugged them both fiercely and they hugged me back equally fierce. When I let go, I turned around and leaned backwards against them. "I'll do it on a few conditions."

"What?"

"First I want you to leave me alone after this. Never talk to me again…don't think about me. The only Tok'ra I will _ever_ talk to again will be _my_ grandpa and _my_ Selmak." Grandpa smiled a huge smile. I could sense that Selmak was pleased with my words.

"I don't…" began Martouf.

I interrupted him. "Second, I don't want either of you to say anything about what I'm doing and how I'm doing it. The minute you criti…criti…" I looked at mom.

"Criticize," she said.

"That's it. Thanks mom. The minute you criticize me or make any suggestions, I'm gone. I'll find some other way to learn."

"Third, I want you to leave us alone…me and my parents." I grinned mischievously at them. "Oh…one more thing. Anise…Freya…whatever the hell your name is?"

"Yes?"

"If you point that thingy at me again the way you did before, I'll orb it where the sun don't shine."

That earned me a giggle from mom and chuckles from dad and grandpa…and confused looks from the other two.

"I'll explain in detail later," said Grandpa grinning.

"Those are my…" I turned to mom again, "whaddya call 'em?"

"Terms baby."

"Yeah, what she said. At this point, you need me a lot more than I need you."

"Agreed."

"Good."

"If it comes down to it, Teal'c and Bratac can teach her," said Grandpa.

"Not everything, Jacob," argued Martouf.

"No, but the basics, yes. What Teal'c can't teach her, I can."

"If that's the case, I'd prefer to have you teach her dad," said mom.

"I would if I could, but I'm getting ready to leave Sam."

"When? Where?"

"I've got a rendezvous with a Tok'ra spy in two days. I leave tomorrow night."

"Do you really have to go Grandpa?" I asked sadly. I was getting used to having him and Selmak around.

"Yes honey. I wish I didn't, but I do," he said giving me a hug. "But, I'll see you in a few days I promise."

"We're ready whenever you are Jessie," said Martouf.

"I don't think so. She's not doing anything else today," said dad.

"But…"

"No buts…we're going back to our room and try to forget what _she _made her remember," said mom angrily, pointing her finger at Anise.

Mom picked me up. "Come on baby," She carried me back to our room and we sat there for the rest of the day. We played games, talked, I cried about what I was. They held me and told me I was theirs and no one was going to take that away.

For the next few weeks, I practiced in an arena that was well hidden high up in the mountains. The lower level of the arena was about twenty feet above the ground…the view was great. From the lower level you could see the entire arena. I strained myself beyond my limits. I collapsed at the end of each day, physically and mentally exhausted. I could tell they were getting angry with the Tok'ra for pushing me. But, it wasn't them pushing me. It was me. I had to do this for them…for mom and dad…and for me.

By the end of the three weeks, I could aim at anything and hit the target dead on. I hated to admit it, but Grandpa was right. The Tok'ra could teach me to focus…to channel my thoughts and my "gifts". Whatever. I hated them…my so-called gifts.

On the last day we were there, mom and dad wanted to watch. They hadn't been allowed to watch. I wanted it to be a surprise anyway.

"Hey Sunshine!" he said picking me up and giving me a kiss. Mom smoothed my hair back and kissed me on the cheek.

"Hey guys. I think they're ready for me to show you what I can do."

"They may be, but are you ready?"

"Yeah, I guess."

He put me down and I took their hands and led them to a seat in the arena. "You guys are gonna love this. I can do things I never could before." I was excited. For the first time, I was actually excited.

"Quit jumping around, Jessie. You're making me dizzy just watching you." said mom.

I giggled and let them pull me onto their laps. A member of the Tok'ra walked up to us. I noticed Martouf and Anise across the arena watching me. I was going to give them a shock. I'd asked for them to be a part of the "demonstration". This was _definitely_ going to be fun.

"Colonel O'Neill…Major Carter…Jessie. If you are ready, the arena is prepared."

I took a deep breath and hugged them both. "Be right back."

"Hey Sunshine?"

"Yeah dad?"

"Go get 'em sweetheart."

I grinned and walked away.

_(You guys are gonna be surprised)_

I climbed up on top of the barrier separating the seating area from the arena.

"Jessie! What the hell are you doing? That's a thirty foot drop!" yelled dad reaching for me.

I held my hand up. "It's ok dad. It's something new I learned. It's cool" He slowly, apprehensively sat back down and took mom's hand in his.

I took a deep breath and stepped off the balcony…I hovered there. I turned to mom and dad. "See, I told you." I floated down, landing gently in the sand. I looked above me and saw them leaning over the balcony smiling with awe.

I waved at them and then orbed into the middle of the arena. Several Tok'ra stepped out of the shadows with zats and Jaffa staff weapons raised. "NO!" yelled dad, starting to move.

I orbed back to them. "Dad, it's ok. It's part of the demonstration."

He pulled me to him. "I don't want anyone pointing weapons at you. You're my baby. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." He was trembling and I could tell he was crying.

"Dad" I said backing up a little. "Look at me. I'm going to be fine. I've been through this everyday for three weeks. I can stop the blasts."

"What if you miss?" he sobbed. He was slowly coming undone and it scared me.

"I won't…trust me. I'm better than I was before." I took his head in my hands. "Dad, I'm not going to die on you again. I promise." He pulled me into a strong hug and held me for several long minutes.

"Ummm…dad?"

"Yeah baby?" he asked sniffling.

"I can't breathe." I laughed. He kissed me and let me go.

"You promise me and your mom that you'll be ok."

"I promise dad…mom…mom and dad." I grinned and they both smiled hesitantly. "I promise" I said softly, giving them both hugs and kisses.

Mom took dad's hand and they sat back down. I orbed to the middle of the arena. "I'm ready."

The attacks came from all sides. My force shield worked perfectly, deflecting every blast. They brought out the drones and they fired also…effectively blocked. I let the energy balls blast a couple of them to pieces. The others, I exploded instead of freezing them. I could now shield and blast or shield and freeze at the same time. That was cool.

About an hour later, machine parts and unconscious Tok'ra littered the arena. I was the winner. I could tell mom and dad were proud by the way they were running down the stairs to the arena.

I started away from the arena when I felt something stirring in my mind. I turned and saw Anise and Martouf walking towards me with some kind of strange weapon I'd never seen. Time for a little revenge. I raised my shield and forced the weapons out of their hands.

I threw them about fifteen feet. They landed with thuds, but got up again. I didn't want to hurt them, but I had no choice. I used the energy ball to knock them both out. That was something else I'd learned to do. I didn't have to kill with the energy ball. I could knock someone out.

I ran to my parents and dad picked me up and put my on his shoulders. "My little hero! That was so cool!"

I laughed. "Yeah, it was."

"But, I have one problem with what just happened."

"What?"

"What in the hell were those two doing here? I told them I didn't want them anywhere near you."

"I asked them to be part of the demonstration thingy, dad."

He looked up at me. "Why?"

"Payback…plain and simple payback."

"That's my girl."


	15. Birthdays

November 20th…my eleventh birthday. Big freaking deal. To me it was just another day. I'd never celebrated my birthday and I wasn't about to start. Unfortunately…or would that be fortunately… mom and dad had other plans.

"_Jack's POV "_

She told us she didn't want anything for her birthday. She had never had a birthday party…wait…she had one on the Asgard ship when she turned a year old.

_Damn the Asgard. That still pisses me off. They took my baby from me._

I sat by her bed and just watched her sleep for probably twenty minutes. It was a habit that Sam and I had both gotten into when we came back from the Nox planet. Early in the morning or late at night…it didn't matter. We both would stand by her bed and watch her sleep. It was comforting to us to know that she was home…alive…where she belonged.

I woke her up gently by brushing her hair out of her eyes. "Sunshine, it's time to wake up."

She groaned and buried her head in the comforter on her bed. "Go away" came the muffled reply.

"Rise and shine, Sunshine." I said pulling the blanket from her head and kissing her on the forehead.

"Alright already. I'll rise, but I refuse to shine." I laughed at that. She yawned and stretched. "Dad, what time is it?" She looked towards the clock. "Dad, it's 7:00 in the morning. I was _not _planning on getting up at the butt crack of dawn today."

I laughed again. "I know but come on anyway." I pulled her out of bed and carried her on my back downstairs. Sam was fixing breakfast. I'd taught her to cook…damn…she was getting better too.

"Morning sweetheart."

"Morning Mom," she said giving Sam a hug and kiss. "Mom, what's going on?"

"Happy birthday baby," we both said.

"Mom…dad…I told you…" She started backing up, getting ready to run. See? I knew my daughter and knew exactly what she was thinking.

"I know, but _we_ told you that things were going to be different from now on." I said, grabbing her and picking her up and swinging her around.

"I know. It's just…" she looked at the floor.

"Hey. Look at me." I said gently.

She finally looked up at me as I placed my hand on her cheek. "Honey, it's your birthday and _we_ are going to celebrate it. We're going to show you…again…how much we love you."

"I _know_ you do, but..."

"No 'buts'. Eat up. We've got a big day planned for you." said Sam grinning.

"_My POV"_

After breakfast and getting dressed, they took me to the zoo, to the mall, to the movies…we saw _Dogma_. I thought it was funny. Mom and dad said I was weird, but that's why they loved me. They let me get my ears pierced. Dad picked out some diamond studs that were so cool. Dad made me pick out a bike. Mom had taught me to ride hers, but they wanted me to have my own. I won't bore you with any other details. It was about 6:00 pm, but by the time we got back to the house, I was ready to go to bed. I fell asleep in the car on the way home.

Dad carried me into the house. When he stood me on my feet, the lights came on and a lot of people yelled "Happy Birthday!"

I jumped back against dad. He put his arms around me. "Happy birthday sweetheart!"

Mom hugged me too. "Happy birthday baby girl."

They were all there…Daniel, Janet, Cassie, Teal'c and Rya'c, Master Bratac, Grandpa, and General Hammond. There were several people from the SGC there also. I couldn't believe it. Every one of them hugged me and said "happy birthday."

By the end I was crying. "Baby, don't cry," said dad.

"They're happy tears dad!"

He hugged me again and said "Oh! Happy tears!"

I'd never gotten so many presents before. It was definitely one of the best days of my life.

The party lasted for about three hours. After everyone had gone, we were sitting on the couch. Dad was eating the last of the cake.

They noticed I'd been quiet for a while. "Baby, you ok?"

"Yeah dad. Just thinking."

"About what baby?" asked mom.

"Everything."

"Hey, I almost forgot," said dad, reaching into his pocket.

He pulled out a piece of paper. "Happy birthday baby."

I took the paper. "What's this?"

"Read it." said mom, grinning.

I opened the paper. Even though it was hand-written, it had the presidential seal on it.

_Jessica O'Neill. This is by far the strangest request I've ever had, considering you're only eleven years old (happy birthday, by the way). But, because of your abilities, I am hereby granting you full access to the SGC. You are now a full member of SG-1 and granted all the perks and responsibilities of the position. Congratulations._

I held the paper in my hand and stared at it for a few minutes. I slowly looked up. Mom and dad were both smiling. "Is this for real?" I asked quietly, the tears threatening to form.

"Yes baby. It's real," said dad with a huge grin on his face.

"When did this happen? How did this happen?"

"Well, Grandpa George called in a few favors. He wanted you with us on missions that we knew were safe. You've got your own protection, but we wanted you with us anyway. We've actually had it for a couple of weeks, but your father wanted to wait until your birthday so it would be a surprise," said mom.

I sat there trembling. "Baby?" asked dad. "What's wrong?" He put his arm around me.

The tears started falling…I couldn't stop them.

"I…"

"We thought you'd be happy," said mom unsurely.

"I am," I said. "I just never thought that something like this would ever happen to someone like me."

"What do you mean 'someone like you'?" asked dad.

I stood up and walked to the fireplace. "You know what I mean."

"Sweetheart, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me…to us." I heard them get up and dad put his arms around me. Mom walked around me so she could face me.

She put her hand on my cheek. "Jack's right honey. You _are _the best thing that has ever happened to us." she said putting her arms around me too. "You need to start believing that."

"I do," she said raggedly.

"Then tell us what's really wrong?"

"I'm scared," I said trying to hold in the tears.

"Of what baby?" asked dad.

"Waking up."

They both backed up, neither losing physical contact with me. "What do you mean?" asked mom.

"I'm scared that I'm going to wake up and this…you and dad…will just be a dream. I'm scared that I'll wake up back at _their_ house, alone."

"This is _no_ dream baby. _This _is real. You're really here with us and we really love you."

I let the tears fall and they both held me...again. A few minutes later, mom pinched me.

"Ow!" I said. "What's that for?"

She laughed. "Just to prove the point that this is _no_ dream."

I giggled and wiped the tears away. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Now, what you wanna do now birthday girl?" asked dad.

"Watch TV?"

"Sounds good."

We huddled together on the couch and watched _The Simpsons_. Dad loves that show. I still don't see why. But, maybe it's a guy thing. I decided to get comfortable. I lay my head down on mom's lap and feet on dad's lap. Mom reached down and stroked my hair. _Yawn…big yawn._

"_Sam's POV"_

We were sitting there watching _The Simpsons…_the three of us. I never thought life could be like this. It's the perfect life…Air Force, man I love, and daughter with man I love. Jessie had her head on my lap and her feet on Jack's. I reached down and stroked my fingers through her hair. That lasted about twenty minutes and then…

"Sam…" whispered Jack, breaking me out of my reverie.

"What?" I whispered back.

"Look."

I looked down at Jessie and saw she was asleep.

"She looks like an angel," whispered Jack in awe. We'd watched her sleep every night for a long time, but it was the first time he'd voiced what I'd always thought.

"She is," I whispered back. "Why do you think I call her 'angel'?"

He grinned and looked over at the clock…10:30."Why don't we get this angel to bed?"

He moved her feet slowly as to not disturb her. Standing up, he picked her up. Strangely, she whimpered. I didn't think she was having a nightmare…at least I _hoped_ she wasn't having one. She hadn't had one in months…not since the training on the Tok'ra planet.

He carried her into her room and I undressed her. She still slept with the Air Force bear Jack bought her when we first met her. I put her in her _Colorado Avalanche _jersey and shorts and we both tucked her in. She whimpered again when we kissed her.

"Jack, you don't think she's having nightmares again?"

"God, I hope not," he said with tension in his voice.

We both watched as she tensed in her sleep. "Shit, she _is _having them again!" Then…

"_He's drunk again, it's time to fight  
She must have done something wrong tonight  
The living room becomes a boxing ring  
It's time to run when you see him  
Clenching his hands  
She's just a woman  
Never Again  
I hear her scream, from down the hall   
Amazing she can even talk at all  
She cries to me, Go back to bed  
I'm terrified that she'll wind up  
Dead in his hands, She's just a woman  
Never Again  
Been there before, but not like this  
Seen it before, but not like this  
Never before have I ever  
Seen it this bad  
She's just a woman  
Never Again   
Just tell the nurse, you slipped and fell  
It starts to sting as it starts to swell  
She looks at you, she wants the truth  
It's right out there in the waiting room  
With those hands  
Lookin just as sweet as he can  
Never Again  
Seen it before, but not like this  
Been there before, but not like this  
Never before have I ever  
Seen it this bad  
She's just a woman  
Never Again  
Father's a name you haven't earned yet  
You're just a child with a temper  
Haven't you heard "Don't hit a lady"?   
Kickin' your ass would be a pleasure  
He's drunk again, it's time to fight  
Same old shit, just on a different night  
She grabs the gun, she's had enough  
Tonight she'll find out how fucking  
Tough is this man  
Pulls the trigger as fast as she can  
Never Again  
Seen it before, but not like this  
Been there before, but not like this  
Never before have I ever  
Seen it this bad  
She's just a woman  
Never Again"_

"Damnit! Why now?" asked Jack.

"Shhh…you're gonna wake her up."

We watched helplessly as she tossed in her sleep. All of a sudden she sat up with a scream.

"NOOOOO!" she screamed.

She was gasping for breath when Jack and I crawled into bed with her. I wrapped my arms around her. "Shhh baby. Mama's here…you're safe. It was just a dream."

"Mama!" she cried as I rocked her slowly. Jack put his arms around both of us.

She started talking again about what _he'd_ done to her…adding details that we hadn't heard before…details she'd blocked from her mind. He'd not only raped, beat, and starved her, but he'd tried to drown her, electrocute her...among other things.

_Damn him. Maybe we should take his body to the Nox and then kill him again…or find a sarcophagus._

_Oh shit. She said the first time was after the night of her seventh birthday._ _Damnit, why didn't we remember that? That's what brought this on._

We held her as she cried. We stayed with her until, exhausted, she passed out. I think, finally, she began to completely heal. No more dreams…no more insecurity. God I hoped so. It'd been rough for all of us…especially Jessie and Jack. Jack had given up hope of ever having children again after Charlie's death. Now, he had a daughter. And he lost a daughter…not once, but twice. Both times, she was brought back…to us. I love him so much. I can't imagine what my life would be had I never met Jack O'Neill. I know one thing's for sure. I could never survive without either of them.

"_O'Malley's"  
_

We could tell Jessie was distracted for a couple of days after her birthday. She kept humming a song that neither Jack nor myself, recognized. We also caught her playing it on Jack's acoustic guitar. But, when we'd ask her about it, she would give us a different title each time. She never would sing the words either. It meant something to her, but she never would say what.

Dad had come in from off-world and the four of us were having a late dinner at _O'Malley's_. We'd already eaten and paid. Dad and I were discussing the latest "acquisition" from the Goa'uld. I could tell that Jessie was getting bored. She looked towards the jukebox and closed her eyes. She was scanning to see what she could listen too.

Jack had noticed it too. He leaned behind me over to her.. "Don't you think you should pay to play the music?" he whispered.

She giggled. "But dad, it's cheaper this way," she whispered back.

She leaned her head against the window, apparently through choosing her songs. Yep. A song I recognized from her CD collection came blaring through the speakers.

"What'd you choose?" I asked.

"Linkin' Park _In the End_."

"Isn't that the song…" asked dad waving his hand slightly.

"Yeah. I thought you might like to hear the entire song," she said shyly.

We all sat there in silence listening to the song. I hate to admit it but it was pretty good. We didn't pay much attention to the other songs she chose until we recognized the one that she'd been playing for a few days. I glanced at Jack. He'd recognized it too. He mouthed "Finally". I grinned at him. The grin fell away as the words became clear.

"_Life it seem will fade away, drifting further everyday_

_Getting lost within myself, nothing matters no one else_

_I have lost the will to live, simply nothing more to give_

_There is nothing more for me, need the end to set me free"_

We all turned to look at her. She had her eyes shut so she didn't know that we were watching her. She mouthed every word to that song. It was breaking my heart to hear the words of that song and watch my eleven year old baby mouth every word. The tears slowly fell.

I glanced over at Jack. To say he was in shock would be an understatement. He was staring at Jessie with extremely wide eyes. I could see the unshed tears in them. Finally the song was over. He reached behind me and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Jessie?"

"Hmmm?" she asked sleepily.

"What was that song?"

"_Fade to Black_ by Metallica," she said hesitantly, tensing slightly. She knew that she couldn't lie to us with Dad there. She didn't lie to us anyway, but she _would_ avoid the question if given the chance.

"What's it about?"

"It helped me decide what I was gonna do the last time _he_…" she sat up straight and cleared her throat. Yep… she was trying to avoid the question.

"What's it about, sweetheart?" asked Jack again gently touching her on the shoulder.

She glanced at Jack and then at me and then away. She whispered something. She refused to look at us again.

"What?" asked Jack again.

"Suicide."

"Jessie!" yelled Jack. People turned and stared.

"Jack! Keep your voice down!" I said.

I could tell she didn't want to say it…because of Charlie. She saw the look of pain on Jack's face. Then I saw the pain on her face.

"I…I'm sorry dad." She pushed at me. "Excuse me."

"Where're you goin'?" asked Jack.

"Bathroom."

"Jessie…" began Jack not moving out of the seat.

"Dad, I really gotta pee." She was trying to hold in the tears.

He sighed and let me out, so she could get out. "I'll be right back, Jack. I have to go too." I had a feeling she wasn't coming back to the table.

Sure enough as soon as we got into the bathroom, she said, "I'm sorry mom. Tell dad I'm sorry."

"Jessie!" I yelled as she orbed out. "Damnit!"

I ran out of the bathroom and ran to the table. "Jack she's gone!"

"Where'd she go?" he asked jumping up and grabbing his jacket. Dad jumped up too.

"I don't know. Let's try the house first. Dad, go to the base and see if she's in her room there"

"Let's go!" he said taking my hand and running out the door to the truck.

We got home in less than ten minutes. Damn that man can drive fast when he wants to. We saw that her bedroom light was on.

We ran into the house and up the stairs. We could hear her sobbing. She was also talking to someone. I motioned for Jack to stop and calm down. I opened her door and she was sitting on her bed crying and talking to…no one. We started to go on in…until we heard her words.

"I just didn't know what else to do then. I didn't know about you or mom or dad. I wish I had. Maybe then I wouldn't have thought about killing myself so much. It just hurt so much when _he_ did _that_ to me. I couldn't take much more of it. I didn't mean to hurt dad tonight. But, he heard the words of that song and I know he knew what it was about. He hates me now. I don't blame him. _I _don't like me right now. I'm sorry Charlie. I'm sorry I never got to meet my big brother. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for ever being born. Maybe things would be better off without me here."

"Don't you _ever_ think that!" said Jack quietly.

She jerked around and saw us standing there. "Dad…"

"No baby," he said moving slowly towards her bed. "I'm sorry. I just never realized that you would think about killing yourself so much. When we read your diary I swore that I would _never_ let you do that. I would make sure that your life was so great you wouldn't think about things like that anymore."

"I…I…" she started, the tears beginning to fall again.

"Shhh baby," he said taking her in his arms, rocking her slowly. I walked over when he motioned for me. I crawled on the bed with them.

"_Jack's POV"_

I don't know how to help her. She's hurting so much right now that I'm scared I'm going to lose her. I _can't_ lose her. I just held her in my arms and let her cry for…hell, I don't know…a really long time. She quieted down and fell against my chest, emotionally and physically exhausted.

She took a deep shuddering breath as I lay her down on her bed. I knew she wanted to talk about what happened. "Dad…" she began. Yep. She wanted to talk.

"Yeah baby?"

"I…uh…I know you heard me talking when you came in."

"Mmmm hmmm."

"I just wanted you to know that I'll understand if you hate me now."

"Why would I hate you baby?" I curled up behind Sam as she lay in front of Jessie.

"For everything," she said as Sam ran her fingers through Jessie's hair. "For that song and for mentioning suicide, for talking…for talking to Charlie." Her voice broke on her brother's name.

"Hey, sweetheart, it's ok. I will _never _hate you." I reached out and stroked her cheek.

"No it's not. I know I brought up bad memories."

"Baby, they're just memories. Neither good or bad. I think it's cool that you talk to Charlie."

"Really?" she couldn't keep the hope out of her voice.

"Really."

"Why?"

"Because he was your brother…and because your mom and I talk to him too."

That took her by surprise. Sam and I just grinned at her. "I talked to Charlie when we first had you…and then when we found you. I've talked to Charlie about your mom for years. Now, I talk to Charlie and tell him how happy I finally am…how happy _we_ are." I looked at her. She could tell I was kind of apprehensive about what I was to say next. "We are happy, aren't we?"

She took another shuddering breath. "I guess."

"What do you mean 'I guess'?" Sam asked her.

"I'm still a fucked up kid no matter how happy I am."

"And we're still weird parents. Deal with it." said Sam. She got a giggle for that.

I looked up to see her eyes. There was so much pain in her blue eyes that I thought my heart would break again. I reached around Sam and stroked her cheek. "Sunshine, we'll get through this…together. I know you're still hurtin'. I know you still don't trust what you're feeling, but trust us…_trust us_. We will _never_ let anyone hurt you again. I'll personally shove a Goa'uld down anyone's throat if they try to hurt _my_ Sunshine."

Sam took her in her arms and held her. We both held her as she cried some more. I pray to God that she will finally completely heal. We rocked Jessie to sleep that night. We fell asleep together…the three of us…my love, my daughter, and me. Now, if we can get over those regs, it will be my wife, my daughter, and me.

_Never Again – Nickleback_

_Fade To Black – Metallica _

_In The End – Linkin' Park_

8 -


	16. Merry Christmas

"_Sam's POV"_

It was Jessie's first Christmas with us. It was going to be perfect. Mark and his family were coming. Dad was going to be there. Jack had bought Jessie an electric guitar to go along with the acoustic one he gave her. She hadn't had any nightmares or memory dreams in a month. I knew she'd heard a song in her head that reminded her of that night. But, things were finally getting back to normal. Well…as normal as they could get.

On Christmas Eve, we tucked her into bed. "Mom?" she asked yawning widely.

"Yeah baby?"

"What'd you get me?" she asked with a sleepy grin.

"You'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out."

"But…"

"No 'buts'."

"Well, will you at least tell me what you got dad?"

"Nope. It's going to be a surprise."

"Awww mom!"

"Go to sleep Jessie," I said firmly as Jack walked in.

"'Awww mom' what?" he asked.

"Mom won't tell me what she bought you for Christmas," she complained. I had to laugh at the look of consternation on her face.

"Well, I'm not telling what I got her either," said Jack sticking his tongue out at me.

"Oh alright," she said dejectedly.

"Get some sleep sunshine. Tomorrow's a big day," said Jack, kissing her on the forehead. I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

"Night angel."

"Night mom."

"Night Sunshine."

"Night dad."

She shivered a little as I covered her up and Jack made sure the heat was turned up enough for her. Even after almost a year, she was still very skinny…very small…and it was starting to snow again.

After we made sure she was asleep, Jack took my hand and led me to our bedroom. We showered, made love in the shower, and showered again. Crawling into bed, he wrapped his arms around me. I could tell he wanted _something_. Hmmm…I will never get enough of him. Ever since we began…ummm…being with each other, I couldn't get enough. Just being close to him was enough to send me to heaven with a smile.

"What? Again?" I asked giggling.

"No giggling and yes…again."

I laughed outright and he silenced me with a small kiss. Things quickly heated and we made love most of the night. What made it exciting was the fact that most of my family was in other places around the house…my brother and his family, my father…you name it they were there. But, to me it was perfect.

-------------------------------------------------------

"_My POV"_

I woke up before anyone else. I just wanted to be alone for a while before the others were awake. I needed time to think. I changed into my sweats and sneakers and walked out my door. I opened mom and dad's door to make sure they were still asleep. Yep…they were. Good.

I walked downstairs, trying to be as quiet as I could. I went outside to watch the sunrise. It had started snowing again. I thought the fireworks on the 4th of July were beautiful, but compared to this, they were plain.

Even though it was still mostly dark, I could see the sun peeking behind the trees. The yellow, orange, red, and gray were blending into an all new color.

I'm not sure how long I sat there, mesmerized by the sight. In the back of my mind, I heard the door open and footsteps behind me. But, I was too caught up in the sky to pay attention.

"Hey Sunshine. Whatcha doin?" asked dad, sitting beside me.

"Looking."

"Looking at what?" asked mom, sitting on the other side of me on the steps.

"The sunrise." I whispered. It was too beautiful to ruin with loud voices.

I shivered as dad wrapped a blanket around me. Oops. I'd forgotten my jacket. I snuggled under his arm and the three of us sat there for a few minutes watching the sun rise over the trees.

"Wow," said mom.

"Yeah," said dad.

I didn't say a word. I could remember a time when I didn't even expect to see another sunrise. I sat there and let the tears fall silently.

"Hey Sunshine. What's wrong?" asked dad, hearing me sniffle.

"Nothin'," I said. "It's perfect."

I looked up at him and smiled. He kissed me on the forehead. "Merry Christmas sunshine."

Mom pulled me to her. "Merry Christmas baby."

"Merry Christmas."

Dad stood and shook off some snow. "I don't know about you ladies, but I'm freezing my…"

"Jack!"

"What?" he grinned innocently.

She smacked him lightly on the leg. "Behave yourself."

He laughed pulling us both up. "So, can we go inside now?"

"Yeah dad."

---------------------------------------------------

"_Sam's POV"_

We walked into the house. I knew that Mark and his family didn't know much about Jessie. Dad said it would probably be best if he didn't. Little did I know that would be a problem.

The others awoke and swiftly came downstairs to open presents. Jessie watched silently as the other kids tear into their presents. She didn't move…just sat there on the couch. I began to think that maybe she was thinking she wasn't getting anything. Jack was saving the guitar for last…he wanted her to open it in front of everyone. I think it was because he wanted to be able to brag that his daughter could play the guitar like the pros.

"Jessie?"

"Hmmm?" she asked wrapping her arms around her legs.

"C'mere baby." I motioned for her to sit on the floor with me. I pulled her on my lap and wrapped my arms around her and handed her a small box. "This is from Grandpa," I said.

She opened it quickly and pulled out a crystal object. Dad brought her a Tok'ra communication crystal. He told her aloud it was just a crystal to hang in her room. I could tell he told her, in her mind, what it really did. She sat there with that goofy grin on her face that we love so much.

"Thanks Grandpa," she said, getting up and hugging him.

"You're welcome sweetheart," said Dad.

She sat back down beside me. "Baby, this is from Mark."

She opened the present hesitantly and held up two books...T_he Outsiders_ and _That Was Then...This Is Now, _both by S.E. Hinton. She froze. Looking at her face, I don't think he realized what she thought it meant. I think she thought it meant that, even though she was part of the family, she would be an outsider. I know it kind of hurt her, but she didn't show it on the outside. She thanked him and gave him a quick hug. She came back and sat down on my lap.

_God, she's still so skinny and light._

"This is from Uncle Daniel and Uncle T," said Jack, setting the box in front of us. He crawled on the couch behind us and massaged my shoulders.

She opened the box and pulled out a pair of rollerblades, two books…_The Hobbit _and _The Simarillion _by J.R.R. Tolkien, several drawing notebooks, and an art set. Daniel was single-handedly turning my daughter into a geek. At least that part was mine. Jack had taught her to skate after her birthday. She loved it. From morning to night, she was rolling around the SGC in those things. General Hammond thought it was cute.

"Wow…" she said. "Sweet!" Jack and Dad laughed at that. She was picking up Jack's phrases with ease.

"This is from Grandpa George," said Jack, handing her a medium-sized package. It was soft.

She opened the package. Yep…it was another teddy bear…a Christmas bear. He was keeping her supplied in teddy bears. She had about ten by this time. But, her favorite was still the Air Force bear that Jack and I bought her when we first found her. She still slept with it.

"I'm going to be bear-d out of my house," said Jack laughing.

"Yep," she said smiling.

"This is from Janet and Cassie." I said handing her the box.

She opened it quickly. "Cool!" she said, pulling out several CDs.

"Whatcha got there sunshine?" asked Jack.

"_New Found Glory, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Linkin' Park, The Ataris, Kidd Rock, Metallica, Blink-182, _and_ Korn_." She was grinning from ear to ear.

The grin fell away as Mark said, "You can't tell me that you let this eleven year old kid listen to that crap, Sam."

"She listens to what she likes Mark…and don't tell me how to raise _my__daughter_," I said, putting the emphasis on _my daughter_.

Jack wrapped his arms around both of us. "Easy sweetheart."

Even Dad was getting pissed off at Mark for the way he was acting towards Jessie.

I made her open her gifts from me and Jack next. "This is from your dad and me angel."

She tore into the first package and opened the box. "Wow…thanks mom!" Mark gave her a funny look. "Thanks dad!" She held up the ice skates for everyone to see. Top of the line. Nothing was too good for our baby girl.

"You're welcome baby," I said.

"Welcome baby." said Jack grinning bigger than I'd ever seen.

"Now, this one is specifically from me," I said handing her a small box.

She took it from me and looked up at me. I don't know…she looked kind of fragile. I kissed her forehead. "Open it baby."

She opened the box and gasped. She held up the locket for everyone to see. Mark rolled his eyes. I'm gonna have to strangle him if he hurts my baby with any remarks.

"Open it," said Jack. He's the one who helped me pick it out.

She did. Inside there was a picture of the three of us that was taken at the zoo. Our first actual family picture. She stared at it.

"Read the inscription." I said.

"To Jessie…all our love…Mom and Dad." she read aloud, tears evident in her voice. I helped her put it on and pulled her closer and kissed her again. "Merry Christmas baby." I whispered.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"For what baby?"

"Me," she said softly.

That one word filled my heart with such joy that I had to choke back a sob. Jack put his arms around both of us again.

Dad interrupted. "This is beginning to be a mush-fest."

"Shut up dad." I said grinning through my tears.

"This is from me sunshine," said Jack reaching around me to drop a small box in her lap.

She opened it quickly. "It's beautiful dad." she said holding up the ID bracelet with the inscription "_Jessie O'Neill"_. "I love it."

"Here..." said Jack helping her put it on. "Now, everyone will know who you are and who you belong too."

"Yep."

We had already given her the jeans and sweaters we bought for her. She was wearing one of the long-sleeved t-shirts that Jack picked out. Of course, it had _New Found Glory _on it. She loved it…even if it was too big for her. Everything seemed too big for her.

So, now it was time for the biggest gift of all…the guitar. Jack moved off the couch. "Be right back," he said winking at me.

A few minutes later he returned with a long thin box. On the front of the wrapping it said "To Jessie From SG-1". We'd all pitched in for it. He laid it on the floor in front of us.

"This is from all of us sunshine…me, your mom, grandpa, Uncle Danny, Uncle T, Janet, Cassie, and Grandpa George."

She looked at him funnily and began to unwrap it. She saw the case but just sat there. I guess she thought the case was to put Jack's guitar in.

"Open the case baby," I said feeling her tremble with excitement.

Jack helped her open it and she gasped when she saw the electric guitar in it. Jack had picked out a version of a blue 1969 Replica Stratocaster. It was beautiful.

"Oh wow!" she breathed.

"You'll need this." said Jack reaching behind the couch and pulling out yet another box. He helped her open it…an amplifier. He handed her a couple of guitar picks and she took them with shaking hands. She was so happy with it.

"Thanks mom…dad…grandpa." she said giving each of us a kiss.

"Now, you've got two…an acoustic and an electric," said Jack. "You're my little rock star." he said nuzzling her.

"Yeah right," she giggled.

She plugged in the guitar and tuned it. Perfect pitch is what Jack called it. She played a few bars of something and then stopped. I guess she realized that everyone was staring at her. She reached over and turned the amp off. Mark was still giving her strange looks.

Mark's kids went outside to play in the snow. She still wasn't comfortable around kids other than Cassie and Rya'c. She played with General Hammond's grandkids, but Cassie and Rya'c were definitely her best friends. I think she kind of felt out of place with Mark's kids. So she stayed inside and strummed the guitar, not turning on the amplifier.

We finished the Christmas dinner and sat down to eat. Jessie sat between me and Jack. We ate our fill, although I noticed Jessie didn't eat half as much as Mark's kids. He made her uncomfortable. I was going to have to have a talk with my brother about the way he was treating my daughter.

She and Jack helped me clear the table. The others went outside or in the living room to crash on the couch. Jack and I could tell she was distracted.

"Jessie?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you ok?"

"Sure mom."

"Are you sure?" asked Jack.

"Well…"

I put down the plate I was clearing off and sat down on a chair. "C'mere."

I pulled her on my lap and Jack leaned against the counter. "What's up Sunshine?"

"I don't think your brother and his family like me very much."

"Why would you think that?" asked Jack.

"He hasn't said two words to me since they got here and the kids look at me like I've done something wrong…like I've taken something from them." She looked up at me. "_You_ mom."

"Don't worry about them baby. You and your dad are all I need."

"But, they were here first. I know why he gave me that book. He knows even though I'm here, I'll always be an outsider."

"Bullshit!" said Jack.

"You're my baby girl and nothing and no one is going to change that," I said resting my chin on her shoulder.

"But, they were here first," she insisted. "I just came in…"

Jack pushed away from the counter and knelt in front of us. I know it was killing his knees, but he…we…had to make her understand. He took her head in his hands and pressed his forehead to hers.

"Baby, it doesn't matter who was here first. What matters is who is here now and who is going to be here when all the others are gone…you, your mom, and me. That's all that counts," said Jack and I agreed.

"But…" she began.

"Angel?" I said, in a voice that would allow no argument.

"Hmm?"

"That's all that counts."

"Yes ma'am," she said hesitantly.

"Ok kids. Let's finish the dishes. I want to hear you play the new guitar," said Jack groaning as he stood. Yep…someone was going to be expecting a massage later on tonight.

We finished the dishes together and went into the living room. Jessie picked up the guitar and started strumming, trying to think of a song to play.

Looking back, I should have seen it coming.

"Are you going to play that thing or just pick at it, because _that_ is getting on my nerves," said Mark.

"Mark!" shouted dad…and me. Jack looked so angry I thought he was going to spit fire.

_Damn him._

She looked to me and Jack with such sadness in her eyes, I couldn't breathe for a moment.

_I'm gonna kill him. It's her first Christmas home and he treats her like this? I'm gonna kill him._

"Mom?"

"Go ahead baby," I said smiling at her…silently encouraging her.

She picked up the pick and started strumming a new song…one she'd been humming for the last three days. Closing her eyes, she opened her mouth and began to sing:

"_It's down to this  
I've got to make this life make sense  
Can anyone tell what I've done?  
I miss the life  
I miss the colors of the world  
Can anyone tell where I am?  
'Cause now again I've found myself  
So far down, away from the sun  
That shines into the darkest place  
I'm so far down, away from the sun again  
Away from the sun again  
I'm over this  
I'm tired of living in the dark  
Can anyone see me down here?  
The feeling's gone  
There's nothing left to lift me up  
Back into the world I know  
'Cause now again I've found myself  
So far down, away from the sun  
That shines into the darkest place  
I'm so far down, away from the sun  
That shines to light the way for me  
To find my way back into the arms  
That care about the ones like me  
I'm so far down, away from the sun again  
It's down to this  
I've got to make this life make sense  
And now I can't tell what I've done  
And now again I've found myself  
So far down, away from the sun  
That shines to light the way for me  
'Cause now again I've found myself  
So far down, away from the sun  
That shines into the darkest place  
I'm so far down, away from the sun  
That shines to light the way for me  
To find my way back into the arms  
That care about the ones like me  
I'm so far down, away from the sun again"_

I had tears in my eyes as the haunting melody faded out. So did Jack and my dad.

"Sam, I said it before, how can you let her listen to that stuff? She's eleven years old. What would _she_ know about loneliness?" said Mark.

Her face fell and she turned her back on us.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

"Baby, where did you hear that song?" asked Jack as Jessie unstrapped the guitar and put it back in its' case.

Her shoulders were shaking slightly. She took a deep breath and whispered "I heard it in my…I heard it a couple of days ago," she said before turning around.

The look of utter desolation and pain on her face broke my heart and caused all of us – even Mark – to gasp out loud.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I fucked up again."

We both reached for her as she ran upstairs. She easily avoided us.

"Damn you!" Jack shouted at Mark before pushing him out of the way and taking off after Jessie.

"Damnit Mark! Why couldn't you just keep your mouth shut? Do you know what she's been through? Do you?" I screamed.

He backed up with his hands in the air. Good, because I wasn't sure I could keep from strangling him. Dad stepped between us.

"Sam, go after her. I'll talk to your brother," he said grabbing Mark by the arm. "Come with me." he said angrily, brooking no argument from Mark.

----------------------------------------

"_Jacob's POV"_

I cannot believe Mark would act like this towards an eleven year old child! Like she doesn't belong here…and then to say what he said? Holy Hannah!

"Sam, go after her. I'll talk to your brother." I grabbed Mark by the arm. "Come with me," I said pulling him into the kitchen.

"Dad, what's this about? Why is everyone coddling that kid?"

"Shut up and sit down!" I ordered. I was so angry at my only son. I knew that Jack kept the photos locked in his safe. With Jessie there to act as a buffer, the four of us could talk telepathically. It was stronger with blood relations according to Selmac.

_(Jack what's the code to the safe? Mark won't believe anything I say unless it's backed up with proof)_

_(Her birthday…11-20-1991)_

_(Thanks)_

I opened the safe and almost threw the file at him.

"What's this?" he asked.

"You wanted to know what an eleven year old child would know about loneliness. Read this."

I watched his face as he read. I know that it was only a fraction of the actual content of her medical file at the SGC. But, it came in handy if something went wrong and she got hurt and couldn't get to the SGC infirmary.

He blanched when he got to the parts about the rapes. I rummaged through the safe and found the pictures. "This is what she looked like when they found her," I said throwing the pictures at him.

He was green by the time he finished reading and looking. "I…I didn't know," he stammered.

I was so angry I could barely speak. "You weren't supposed to. No one was. It was something that was supposed to be private between us…Jack, Sam, and Jessie…and me. You should've just accepted the fact that Sam has a daughter. She was healing, Mark. She didn't have anymore nightmares. She was finally beginning to live again. And then you…" I couldn't go on.

"I'd better go apologize," he said, standing up.

"Damn right you should."

He nodded and left the room.

I stood at the bottom of the stairs for a few minutes, listening to the sobs coming from the bedroom upstairs. How could this happen? I thought by bringing Mark and family here, Jessie would have a perfect Christmas. Instead, I've single-handedly ruined it.

---------------------------------------------------

"_My POV"_

It was supposed to be the perfect Christmas. But, no…I had to go and play the song and then listen to Mark say what he said.

_Oh shit! Why did I have to do that?_

Turning my back on everyone, so they wouldn't see the tears falling, I put the guitar back in the case. I took a deep breath and whispered "I heard it in my...I heard it a couple of days ago," I said before turning around.

Mom and dad both gasped at the look on my face. Then Grandpa and Mark both gasped.

"I'm sorry…I fucked up again," I whispered before running past mom and dad. I felt dad's hand brush my arm as he reached to stop me. I slid past him and ran up the stairs to my bedroom. I slammed the door shut and fell on the bed crying.

_Why today? Why did this have to happen today?_

I heard mom and dad yelling at Mark…then footsteps running up the stairs.

"Angel I'm so sorry," said mom.

"I'm sorry too," said dad.

Mom was crying. I looked up at her. "I wanted everything to be perfect for your first Christmas home baby. Instead everything was ruined."

"If I hadn't sung that stupid song then everything would've been perfect," I insisted.

"No," said dad pulling me up to him. "We've been trying to get you to sing that song since you started humming it. You know that. I thought it was beautiful…it was a beautiful song baby."

"But…" I began.

"No 'buts' baby. If Mark can't handle the fact that we're a family then he's not welcome here," said mom.

"But, mom, he's your brother."

"And _you're_ my daughter. _You _come first…you and your dad. That's all I need."

"And you and your mom are all I need…except maybe for _The Simpsons_ and _Fruit Loops_," he grinned slyly.

I ended up giggling through my tears. I hugged him. "That's my Sunshine," he said.

I wiped the tears from my eyes. "Dad, you're so goofy."

"Yeah, but ya love me anyway." He flipped me on my back and they began tickling me mercilessly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said as he tickled me. "Dad, quit it!"

They finally let up as Grandpa walked into the room. "Jessie? Honey, are you ok?"

"I'm fine now Grandpa," I said smiling slightly. The smile faded as Mark walked in behind Grandpa.

I huddled behind mom and dad. "No, no, no, no," I whispered. I didn't want him anywhere near me.

"Get out Mark!" said mom. "You've done enough damage!" she said pulling me onto her lap.

Dad started to get off the bed and move toward Mark. "No dad. Please," I begged, grabbing his arm. He quit moving and slid closer to us.

Mark stepped further into the room and I tensed in mom's arms. She held me tighter. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry," he said not even looking at me.

"You've said it, now get out," said dad.

He continued to ramble. "I didn't know what happened to her. I didn't know any of it until dad showed me," he said trying to make dad see his point of view.

"It was none of your damned business!" said dad loudly. "She's been though hell and when we thought she'd finally put it behind her, you show up and blow it all up!"

"I didn't mean to! If you would've explained the circumstances then I wouldn't have said what I did!" Mark said getting angry.

"Like Jack said Mark. It was none of your business. You've just set us back almost a year."

"Will you accept my apology Sam?"

"It's not me you have to apologize to," said mom. She was still very...very angry.

"Jessie? Will you accept my apology?" He finally looked at me.

"I guess," I have a very forgiving nature…sometimes. This is the only reason I said what I did next. "But, forgiven doesn't mean forgotten." I laid my head on mom's shoulder.

"I know."

_(Do you want him to stay?)_ - mom

_(He's your brother. Do you want him to stay?)_

_(I want him outta here) _- mom

_(Dad?)_

_(I want him gone too sunshine)_

_(Me too)_

"Mark, she may have forgiven you, but words leave scars. I think it's best that you leave." She turned to Grandpa. "Dad, can you take them to the airport?"

"Yeah." he said as Mark left the room angrily to collect kids, wife and things. "Do you want me to come back?"

"Not tonight. Come by tomorrow and we'll talk." said dad. "I think it should just be the three of us tonight."

"Ok," said Grandpa holding his arms out to me. "Do I at least get a goodbye hug?"

"No," I said to shocked looks. "Not goodbye. See ya later."

He grinned as I got off the bed and gave him a big hug. "Merry Christmas Jessie."

"Merry Christmas Grandpa."

He exited the room, leaving the three of us standing there. We sat in silence for a few minutes listening to people packing up and leaving the house.

Dad pulled me back on the bed. "Well? Whaddya wanna do?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I dunno."

Mom kissed me on the head. "How about you play some more songs for us."

"Really?" I asked, excited.

"Ya sure ya betcha."

We ran downstairs and I picked up the guitar again. Apparently Mark's wife had cleaned up a bit before they left. I turned to mom and dad as they sat on the sofa.

"Whatcha wanna hear?"

"What was that song that you used to test the sound?" asked dad.

"_Pushing Me Away _by Linkin' Park."

"Play that for us."

"Ok."

--------------------------------------------

"_Jack's POV"_

She started to play when there was a knock at the door. "For cryin' out loud." said Jessie.

I grinned as I got up and opened the door. "Merry Christmas!" yelled Daniel, Teal'c, Janet, and Cassie.

"Guys…what are you doing here?" I asked, as they pushed their way in.

"Sam's dad called about half an hour ago. He said something had happened and that you guys, especially Jessie, needed cheering up." said Daniel.

"Damnit I told him I wanted it to be the three of us for the rest of the night. Does anybody listen to me?"

"Damn guys. What're you doin' here?" asked Sam.

"We came to give you three the best Christmas ever," said Cassie launching herself towards the second sofa.

I guess that's when they noticed Jessie standing there with the guitar. "Well? How did you like it?" asked Janet.

"She was just about to play something when you guys walked in," I said, still a little peeved.

"Go ahead Jessie." said Cassie. "Play something for us."

Before, when it was just us, she was fine. Now, she was nervous. She was fiddling with her fingernails…something she got from Sam. She looked up at me.

"Why don't you play that song you sang earlier baby?" Sam said softly.

They all said "Let's hear it."

I sat down next to Sam and Jessie climbed into the chair. Looking to us for strength…and approval, I think…she began to play.

When she opened her mouth to sing the first words, time seemed to stop. Everyone held their breath. Again I couldn't think about anything except the words of the song that came from my eleven year old daughter…haunting, frightening…beautiful.

The tension was thick as the final notes of the song faded away. The silence was deafening until Teal'c spoke up. "That was indeed beautiful Jessie."

"Really?" she asked tentatively.

"Oh yeah," said Janet and Daniel. You could see the tension leave Jessie…it was visible the way she relaxed.

"What else do you know? What else can you play?" asked Daniel.

"Finish playing that song you started before you were so rudely interrupted," said Sam.

"Ok."

The first notes of _Pushing Me Away_ began again and Jessie closed her eyes, concentrating on hitting every note perfectly. I still don't know where she learned how to play. I can play a little, but not like this….not like her. But, from what Daniel said, she was almost as good as the late Randy Rhoads. Watching her play that song, I could believe it.

Both Sam and I could see that, when she played, she relaxed…fully relaxed. At least we didn't have to worry about her going into the Air Force. Hell, with that voice and talent, she _could _be a rock star.

I think Sam had the same thought. I caught her eye and she smiled…the tears were there, but they were, as Jessie put it, happy tears. I reached over and took her hand in mine and gave it a squeeze.

By this time, Jessie had finished playing that song. "Keep playing sweetheart," I barely whispered.

"Well…" she began.

"'Well' what baby?" asked Sam.

She put down the guitar. "Be right back," she said orbing out.

A few seconds later, she orbed back in with my old acoustic guitar. "There _is_ another song that's been running through my head for a few days, but…" she trailed off looking at us.

"Play it baby."

She sat down again and took the guitar into her arms. She seemed to be struggling with something for a moment. Then she nodded…I guess she'd made her decision. "I think it's called _Epiphany_. I don't know who sings it, but it's been driving me nuts for three or four days!" We all laughed at that.

"_Your words to me just a whisper  
Your face is so unclear  
I try to pay attention  
Your words just disappear.  
'Cause it's always raining in my head  
Forget all the things I should have said.  
So I speak to you in riddles  
'Cause my words get in my way.  
I smoke the whole thing to my head  
And feel it wash away.  
'Cause I can't take anymore of this  
I wanna come apart,  
Or dig myself a little hole  
Inside your precious heart.  
'Cause it's always raining in my head  
Forget all the things I should have said.  
I am nothing more than  
a little girl inside  
That cries out for attention,  
Yet I always try to hide.  
'Cause I talk to you like children,  
Though I don't know how I feel  
But I know I'll do the right thing  
If the right thing is revealed  
'Cause it's always raining in my head  
Forget all the things I should have said"_

After the final notes of that song ended, she looked up smiling. "Maybe now that I've sung it out loud, it will quit bothering me" she laughed, causing all of us to laugh too. "I changed it up a little though from what I've been hearing in my head. I'm a girl…not a boy." Daniel roared with laughter. It wasn't _that_ funny.

She must have played for a good hour and a half before deciding to quit. She played everything from Linkin' Park to Metallica to Green Day. That kid has some strange tastes in music. But, she's mine and I love her no matter what.

Jessie joined me and Sam on the sofa and cuddled up against Sam. We sat there and watched _Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer_…neither Jessie nor Cassie, had ever seen it. Jessie thoroughly enjoyed it. I was beginning to worry about her because she'd seemed a little distant since Mark and his family left, but she relaxed and watched the movie.

Halfway through the movie, she laid her head in Sam's lap and her feet in mine. After almost a year, she was still so damned small. Janet said that her growth had been stunted by the years of abuse. Again, I would kill the bastard over and over again if I could.

When the movie ended, I looked down and she was asleep.

_Just like an angel._

"Ummm…guys?"

"What?" asked Daniel a little too loudly. She groaned and turned over on her side.

"Shhh…" I said pointing to Jessie. "I think it's time we called it a night."

"Yeah…sorry Jack," said Daniel.

They all came over and gave Jessie a kiss and said goodnight. Anyway, I carried her upstairs and let Sam get her into her new hockey jersey/nightgown…_Colorado Avalanche _of course.

---------------------------------------------------------------

"_My POV"_

I tried to stay awake, but mom put me to sleep stroking my head again. Sheesh. I woke up when she put my new nightgown on me. "Mom?" I said as they were tucking me in.

"Yeah baby?"

"You never told me what you got dad."

"A bracelet to match yours…and mine," she said with a smile.

"Cool," I yawned.

Dad stuck his tongue out at me as I yawned again, falling into that dream-wake state. "Dad?"

"Hmmm?"

"What'd you get mom?"

"Well…" he began.

"Come on dad. You know curiosity will keep me awake…and therefore, I'll keep _you _awake."

He pushed his fingers through his hair. "I haven't given it to her yet, but I guess now is as good a time as any," he said dropping to one knee.

"Dad!"

"Jack!"

"Sam I love you. I have always loved you and I will always love you. I can't live without you. Will you do me the honor of being my wife?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. He opened it and held it up to her.

Mom gasped. "Jack!" she said, tears streaming down her face. "I…I…I don't know what to say." she stuttered.

He grinned. "You could say 'yes' you know."

"Yes!" she hissed.

He slid the ring on her third finger and stood, pulling her into his arms. I yawned even though I was excited. We were going to be a family…a real family!

I decided to give them some privacy, so while they were locked in their embrace, I orbed them back to their room.

I dozed off with a grin on my face. A few minutes later, I heard a soft knock and the door opened and they came back in.

"Jessie," said dad softly.

"Wha…" I said sitting up slowly. "Didn't I just orb you out?" I asked trying, and failing, to stifle a yawn. I watched them walk over to my bed.

"Yeah baby, but we forgot something." said mom.

"What?" I asked sleepily.

"This..." said dad as they both leaned down and kissed me. It's something they'd done every night for almost a year.

"Goodnight angel," said mom, hugging me.

"Night mom."

"Goodnight sunshine," said dad, hugging me.

"Night dad."

They stayed until I was completely asleep.

---------------------------------------------------------

"_Jack's POV"_

_She said yes. Sam said yes. HOLY BUCKETS SHE SAID YES!_

I took Sam into my arms after slipping the ring on her finger. I kissed her deeply and passionately. All of a sudden, we lost all sensation and then regained it…in our room.

"Wow." said Sam unsteadily.

"Talk about the earth moving," I said grinning.

"Oh shit Jack," she said backing up as a thought struck her.

"Sam? What's wrong baby?" I said, getting worried she was going to change her mind about marrying me.

"We forgot something…or rather someone."

I thought for a moment. "Jessie…goodnight kiss."

"We've given her a goodnight kiss every night for the last eleven months…and tonight we forgot."

I took her hand and led us back to Jessie's room. I knocked lightly and opened the door. "Jessie?" I asked softly. We walked in and she sat up sleepily.

"Wha…didn't I just orb you out?" she asked fighting sleep.

"Yeah baby, but we forgot something," said Sam.

I could tell she was fighting to stay awake. "What?"

"This..." I said as we leaned down and kissed her.

"Goodnight angel," said Sam hugging her.

"Night mom."

"Goodnight sunshine," I said, giving her a hug too.

"Night dad" she said yawning.

We sat there, on Jessie's bed until we were 100 sure that she was asleep and not having nightmares. I took Sam in my arms and picked her up. I carried her to our room and, taking off my own shirt first, slowly undressed her. Even thought we'd done this many, many times before, every time with Sam was new…a new experience…and an affirmation of our love and commitment to each other and to our family.

I ran my hand down her jaw line. "You are so beautiful," I murmured, leaning down and capturing her mouth with mine. I couldn't get enough of her. Passion overtook us and we made love well into the night. All I can say is now that I've got her, I'm never letting her go. I'm never letting either one of them go…my fiancé (soon to be wife) or my daughter.

_Away From The Sun – 3 Doors Down_

_Epiphany – Staind_

**_Just wanted to thank all those who reviewed. This is actually part of an anthology I'm working on. The first part is __Beginnings. That's what ya'll have been reading. The next part will take place a few years later and will be entitled __Family. Once again, thanks for the great reviews. :D_**

**_Jennifer Carter_**  



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